He Swore It Was On Aisle Three

| Cordova, TN, USA | Working | October 25, 2014

(I am looking for something in the organic section. I am in the store at around 12:15 am. I walk up to a night stocker.)

Me: “Can you tell me where to find organic coconut oil?”

Him: “That mother-f***** is going to be on aisle three.”

(I walked away dumbfounded, headed to aisle three, and finally found it on aisle five.)

Don’t Fall Behind On The Schedule

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Working | October 17, 2014

(I work in a meat department at a big name store. None of the people who work at night are trained to use the saws, so they start having one of the trained people come in at night. We never really know which one, so we have a tendency to ask another night clerk in the department.)

Me: *stocking the cases*

Coworker: “Hey, who’s working with us tonight?”

Me: “[Department Head].”

Coworker: “D*** it! I hate working with him!”!

Me: “Um…”

Coworker: “It’s just so annoying!”

Me: “…he’s right behind you.”

Department Head: *stocking another shelf nearby, and turns to say* “That was actually pretty funny!”

Showered With Irresponsibility

| Surrey, BC, Canada | Working | October 13, 2014

(A customer comes to my register with some jars of mayonnaise. And by ‘some,’ I mean a whole basketful.)

Me: “So… that’s quite a lot of mayonnaise you’re buying.”

Customer: “I know, but my daughter’s expecting.”

Me: “All of this is for your pregnant daughter?”

Customer: “Yep. She needs these, or I’m in a lot of trouble.”

Me: “Sir, I’m really sorry if it’s not my place to judge, but I don’t think you should give that much mayonnaise to your daughter. I understand that cravings can get out of control, but this much mayonnaise can’t possibly be good for her health.”

Customer: “No! It’s for her baby shower! She’s making deviled eggs!”

Me: “Oh! That makes more sense.”

(I should probably work on my conversation skills.)

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Turned Into A Dog Day Afternoon

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Right | October 6, 2014

(I’ve been having a really bad day due to a customer I had earlier. An older gentleman comes up to my till and I smile weakly at him.)

Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

Customer #1: “I’m doing just fine, little lady. How are you?”

Me: “I’m all right. Are you getting the dog food as well?”

Customer #1: “Yes, but I’m going to pay for that with cash, if that’s all right?”

Me: “Not a problem.”

(I continue to check out the grocery portion of it and he pays. I next begin scanning the dog food when a woman behind him in line sees it and flicks her gaze to Customer #1.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, sir?”

(Both he and I look at the woman. I’m bracing myself for an altercation.)

Customer #2: “I just really love dogs. Would you mind if I buy those for you?”

Customer #1: “Y-you don’t have to!”

Customer #2: “I know, but I want to. I really love dogs and I want to do anything I can for them.”

(With Customer #1’s blessing, she added the cans of dog food to her $30 order. Faith in humanity was restored and my day improved after that!)

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Brought Her Baggage With Her

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Right | October 6, 2014

(I am currently checking out a customer with a $130 order. Another customer comes up behind her with one item and I tell the first customer that I will check the second customer out first before I continue to help her. Big mistake.)

Customer #1: “Why? That doesn’t make any sense! I was here first!”

Me: “It will only take a moment, ma’am. She only has one item.”

Customer #1: “Whatever.” *rolls her eyes and scoffs at me*

Customer #2: “No, really it’s okay. I can wait.”

Me: “It’s not a problem. Once I help you, I can focus on helping this customer bag.”

Customer #1: “Help me bag? You WILL bag!”

Me: *speechless*

(I keep quiet at this point so I don’t say something I regret. I help Customer #2 out and she leaves. Things are tense now between me and Customer #1. I am already bagging her items. My manager comes over to try and defuse the situation’)

Customer #1: “I’m glad you’re here, since apparently SHE needs help.”

(My manager and I bagged her items and got her out of there. She was the worst customer I had ever had to deal with since I had been working at that store.)

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