Language Skills Are Medi-okra

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work as a demo lady.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “Chicken andouille gumbo.”

Customer: “Wait…what?”

Me: “Chicken andouille gumbo.”

Customer: “Are…you speaking English?”


| Windsor, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(I’m ringing through a customer’s order. I put a romaine lettuce through. The customer points out a price error.)

Customer: “The lettuce is $1.97, not $2.97.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Just to double check–it’s a romaine lettuce you have, right?”

Customer: “No, it’s USA lettuce.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “It’s USA lettuce.”

Me: “Well, it’s from the USA, but it’s called romaine lettuce.”

Customer: “No, it’s USA lettuce, not Romanian.”

Your Query Is In Arrears

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Is Ricky the front end supervisor?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, he is no good! If Ricky is the front end supervisor, is there a rear end supervisor?”

Smelling A Bargain

| CT, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any of the regular fish oil pills?”

Me: “No, I don’t have those. But we’ve got the odorless pills here.”

Customer: “Thanks anyway. I really just wanted the regular ones.”

Me: “Oh, but these are great. They’ve got no odor at all. If you take these, you won’t smell of fish!”

Customer: “You mean I smell of fish?! Oh my God! I didn’t know! Nobody told me! I don’t believe I smell of fish!”

Me: “Uh, that’s not what I meant.”

Customer: “I didn’t know I smell of fish! Oh, this is awful!”

(The customer opens his phone, dialing.)

Customer, on phone: “Mom? It’s me. Why didn’t you tell me I smell of fish? Of course I do! The guy at the store just said I need to take the odorless pills because I smell of fish!”

Me: *head in hands* “No, wait!”

Customer: “I can’t believe even you didn’t tell me! I feel awful now! How long until it goes away?”

Gender Fender Bender

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to return this card.”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “I bought it for my wife’s birthday. It’s a very nice card, but I missed the last line.”

(I look at the card, and it reads ‘to the man I love’. The refund was given.)

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