Will Be Waiting For A Aisle

| USA | Working | August 23, 2015

(I work at a grocery store as a cashier. One day as I’m walking towards the break room a customer stops me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where is aisle seven located?”

Me: “Between aisles six and eight.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Thank you.” *walks away*

The Highs And Lows Of Retail

| Natick, MA, USA | Right | August 21, 2015

(I’m a bag girl and I’m bagging a customer’s groceries. An extremely tall man, like, 6’8″, 6’9″, comes over to me while I’m working.)

Man: “Hey, did you know you’re, like, really short?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I’m 4’11” and, while I’m not terribly sensitive about my height, I can’t believe he actually said this.)

Man: “Well, compared to me, you’re really short.”

Me: “And so is Stevie over there; he’s six feet. You are a rather tall person, sir. Excuse me, please, you’re blocking the bags.”

Man: *suddenly offended* “It’s so rude of you to say something like that about my height. That’s a sensitive topic for tall people.”

(The cashier is trying really hard not to laugh and the customer, who is maybe 5’2″, is staring at the man like she can’t believe this guy is for real.)

Me: “It’s rather sensitive for short people, too, and you really were incredibly impolite about MY height. Please move; I need to bag this order.”

(He stomps off in a huff and I turn to finish bagging the customer’s order.)

Customer: “Do you take tips? You deserve one after handling that man.”

Me: “I’ll take any tip that doesn’t involve drinking more milk so I can grow.”

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Mom Has An Axe To Grind

| PA, USA | Related | August 21, 2015

(While on a quick trip to the grocery store, my cousin randomly decides to spray me with some body spray while we’re in the personal hygiene aisle. When my family all meets back at the car…)

Mom: “Okay, which one of you smells like a douchebag?”

A Crackers Request

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Right | August 19, 2015

(I’m a cashier at a local grocery store. A woman comes to my line holding an open pack of crackers, one from a larger pack of eight.)

Customer: “I got these crackers, and I got hungry so I started eating some, but then my grandson called and said these aren’t the kind he likes. Can I just pay for this one?”

Me: “We don’t sell the packs individually; you’ll have to pay for the whole thing.”

Customer: “But I don’t have any use for them!”

Me: “Well, since you opened it, neither do we.”

Failing To Reach New Levels Of Intoxication

| TX, USA | Working | August 19, 2015

(Our small town is located in a “Dry County” which means any business in the county cannot have alcohol for sale. The locals know this but people from out of town and tourists don’t. As such, we get several people (usually already inebriated) asking us where our beer section is. Tired of trying to argue with drunk people that we don’t have one, I made up this excuse.)

Customer: “Where’s your beer section?”

Me: “Oh, it’s up on the second floor.” *our store is only one floor*

Customer: “Okay!”

(This works about 90% of the time and the customer will spend up until 30 minutes trying to find the stairs to the second floor before finally becoming sober enough to realize I tricked them.)

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