No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, Part 2

| Utah, USA | At The Checkout

Boss: “Hey, I need to talk to you for a second.”

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Boss: “I received a complaint about you from a customer. By our rules we have to pull you aside and tell you.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the complaint?”

Boss: “Um, you were too nice.”

Me: “Come again?”

Boss: “Apparently, you were trying too hard to be nice and doing your job bagging for her. She got offended by it, so….be more careful, I guess.”

Me: “Wait, I’m in trouble because I was being too nice?”

Boss: “Yeah.”

Me: “This is a new one.”

Related:
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet

| California, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have any gurtz-demeanor?”

Me: “Do you mean Gewürztraminer?”

Customer: “Yeah, gurtz-demeanor!”

Locally Grown, Organic, Pesticide-Free Love

| Grocery Store | McBride, BC, Canada | Food & Drink

(I’m working in the deli department of the supermarket. A customer approaches me with a container of our fruit salad.)

Customer: “Hi, I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Did you make the fruit salad?”

Me: “Yes, I did. We make our fruit salads fresh every morning.”

Customer: “Did you make it with plenty of love?”

Me: *laughs*

Customer: “Is that a yes?”

The Recoil Is Amazing

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m stocking cans of soup at the end of an aisle when I hear a voice say “Beep Beep!” I just ignore it but it continues to get louder. I turn around to see an elderly male customer with a shopping cart.)

Customer: “Beep, beep!”

Me: “Oh! Hi there. Did you need help finding anything today, sir?”

Customer: “Beep, beep!”

(He then proceeds to ram his cart into my butt multiple times.)

Me: “Oh my, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was in your way. I’ll move.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay sweetie. I do that to all the pretty girls.”

Me: “Okay, well, I’ll let you go now.”

Customer: “Wanna share a can of soup, sweet cheeks?”

Me: *running away* “No, thank you!”

Stimulating Or Simulating Immunity

| Ottawa, Canada | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I’ve had a small cold for a couple days. I begin to ring up a man in his 60s. I’m 19.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how are you today?”

Customer: “Not too bad, except this d***ed cold won’t go away.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I have one too and it’s driving me nuts! Although I love the new pomegranate grapefruit cough drops we sell.”

Customer: “I have some cough drops at home. But there is one thing that really works when you’re sick. The problem is, my wife is out of town so I guess I’m out of luck.”

Me: “Oh, yeah. Wait, what?”

Customer: “Yeah! It totally works. Do you have a man around to help you with your… cold?”

(He winks at me.)

Me: “That’ll be $35.67, sir. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Try it! And if you don’t have a man, you could always do it with–”

Me: “Goodbye!”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

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