Christmas In A Bun-dance

| AB, Canada | Right | December 19, 2014

(A customer is in the store on Christmas Eve about 10 minutes before we close. Everything has been pretty picked over by this point.)

Customer: “Where are all your buns?”

Me: “I’m sorry but we sold out today.”

Customer: “But it’s Christmas! Why didn’t you make more buns?”

Me: “We did, but it’s hard to tell how many buns we will need, especially for the holiday.”

Customer: “Great, now my Christmas is ruined.”

Gallons Of Stupidity

| CA, USA | Right | December 18, 2014

(I work at a well known grocery store, mainly working to direct searching customers to their desired products. I am walking down the dairy aisle. I spot two teenagers waiting for a time. The first customer is holding cartons of milk in his hands, and the second customer is holding out a smart phone.)

Me: “Do you two need any help right now?”

Customer #1: “Actually… um, yeah…”

(Customer #1 suddenly nods to Customer #2, who raises his smartphone. I can hear the sound from his that signals the record button being pressed. At this point, I’m starting to catch on that this is a gallon smashing prank.)

Customer #1: “Woah, woah, woah!”

(He badly acts that he’s accidentally falling, and tosses the containers of milk into the sky, and he falls flat on his back. The cartons hit the floor, but don’t shatter or release milk.)

Customer #2: “Crap!”

Customer #1: “We need to redo that!”

(I’m just standing in amazement about how bad these two are at pranking someone.)

Me: “Sir, if you keep intentionally keep damaging our products, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Customer #1: “It was an accident! I just slipped!”

Me: “What about your friend over there recording?”

Customer #2: “I’m just… taking a selfie!”

(I start rolling my eyes, and go to pick up the cartons of milk. Out of nowhere, Customer #1 grabs the cartons of milk off the floor and tosses them up again. Again, nothing happens as they hit the floor.)

Customer #2: “S***! We need another take!”

Customer #1: “C’mon, just let us have one more try?”

Me: “No. Get out of this store now, or I’ll call security for multiple attempts of destruction of property.”

(The two teenagers quickly scurry out of the store, Customer #1 even tripping once during the way out.)

Coworker: “Did those two try to do a gallon prank with cartons?”

Me: “The world may never know.”

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Getting Out Of Work With Surgical Precision

, | KS, USA | Working | December 16, 2014

(I work in a deli inside of a chain grocery store. I’m always on closing duty which has me at work until well after midnight. I’m also a full-time college student. I’m usually fine going into class on very little sleep, but I don’t want to take tests like that, so I put in for time off on the nights before my final exams, which are all early in the morning. The week before my exams, we’re given our schedules for the following week.)

Me: “Uh, [Manager], you’ve got me down to work close next Wednesday night. I asked for it off and you approved it, but then you scheduled me.”

Manager: “Oh. Well, can you still come in?”

Me: I’d rather not. I have to be up early Thursday morning for exams. It’s just next week; I’m off for the summer so I can work whatever hours you need after that. But, I really don’t want to take important exams on three or four hours of sleep.

Manager: “Hmm.” *says nothing more and goes back to work*

(I assume I am still going to have to go in, so decide to just suck it up and hope for the best. Fast forward to the following Wednesday. I arrive for my shift, to find that a coworker who hadn’t been on the schedule is there. She is as surprised to see me as I am to see her.)

Coworker: “Why are you here? [Manager] asked me to cover for you because you said you couldn’t come in.”

Me: “Seriously?! She didn’t say anything to me about that. I had asked for tonight off because of my exams tomorrow morning, but she put me down anyway. But, okay, if you’re here I guess I’ll go home—”

Coworker: “No, we should really talk to a manager to make sure.”

Me: “All of the managers are gone, I think. One of the store managers might still be here… but we’d better hurry because they won’t be here long.”

(We manage to find the store assistant manager, who is the only one still in, and explain the situation.)

Me: “[Manager] hadn’t told me she was having someone cover, but since we’ve got coverage, I’d really like to head home so I can be well-rested for my exams tomorrow.”

Coworker: “I GUESS I could stay but… my little boy is only five months old and he just had surgery on his poor little feet this morning. I hated to leave him but [Manager] asked…”

(I’m confused because this coworker had never mentioned her son having surgery scheduled — and she talks incessantly about EVERYTHING related to her son, even an inconsequential sneeze. And why would she have agreed to cover for me if her baby was scheduled for surgery that day?)

Assistant Manager: “Oh!” *gives me a dirty look then turns back to my coworker* “You go right on home to be with your baby. He needs you.” *turns back to me, and says rather rudely* “Go get clocked in and get to work.”

(The other closer ended up calling in sick, leaving me to close by myself. I went in to my exams the next morning on under two hours of sleep, and failed them both. The kicker? The bakery manager saw me the next day, heard what happened, and informed me that she saw my coworker and her husband only minutes before I walked in — showing off her not-been-operated-on baby to the bakery employees.)

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Comic: The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

| New York, NY, USA | Right | December 15, 2014

Not An Apples To Apples World Anymore

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Working | December 15, 2014

(I’m buying some fruit, and I’ve brought my own re-usable cloth bags.)

Cashier: *stares blankly into my bag, which contains Macintosh apples*

Bagger: “What’s the matter?”

Cashier: “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

Bagger: “The cloth bags? Yeah, they’re not that common.”

Cashier: “No, man. These APPLES, man! What the heck are they? I’ve never seen apples like these in my life.”

Bagger: “Uh, they’re Macintoshes. We sell a lot of those.”

Cashier: *shaking his head* “There are so many different types of apples, man, and I can’t keep up.”

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