Good Behavior Is Badly Needed

| NS, Canada | Related | April 27, 2017

(I’m a cashier in a large grocery store and see a lot of kids having temper tantrums and a lot of parents not really parenting. A man comes through with his two sons who look to be around four and seven, and aside from the tiniest bit of typical rambunctiousness they are perfectly well behaved. The father repeatedly tells them to settle down, hold still, be quiet, etc. and both boys listen every time, even if it does only last for a few minutes each time.)

Me: *to Father* “Wow, I can’t believe how well behaved they are!”

Father: “Eh, I don’t know. They’ve been acting up quite a bit today… They’re usually much better than this.”

Me: *looks at the boys in disbelief — they are standing pretty quietly at the end of the register* “This is them not behaving?”

Father: *laughing* “I do run a pretty tight ship, don’t I, boys?”

Boys: *both nod emphatically*

(If that was them “acting up,” I can’t even imagine what they’d be like behaving perfectly! Pretty impressive parenting!)

Their Ungratefulness Is Very Taxing

| ON, Canada | Right | April 25, 2017

(The grocery store where I’m a cashier, about once a month, has “No Tax” promotions where the store pays the sales tax for all sales. To ring this through, however, all the tax has to be manually taken off by the cashier, like a coupon. This is not normally a problem at the regular tills, but at the self checkout it is a hassle. We have big signs on every register to inform customers that they need to call for the cashier when they’re finished scanning their items to have their tax removed, but no customers actually read the signs. As I’ve worked a lot of long shifts on these promotions, I’ve got running around and cancelling customer’s debit transactions so I can take their tax off down to a fine and quiet art.)

Customer: *has a purchase of $10 with about $1 in tax*

(As most of our products aren’t taxable anyway, this is moderately significant percentage.)

Me: *busy helping another customer*

Customer: *hits the debit button*

Me: *finishes, notices what he’s doing, rushes over to his machine, removes his card from the machine, hits cancel*

Customer: “What the— You scared me!”

Me: “If you’ll just give me a moment to take off your tax for you, sir…” *by the time I’m through with my sentence, I’m already back at my own station taking off the tax from his order*

Customer: “What?”

Me: “It’s ‘No Tax’ day.” *releases his machine, his order now tax free, and begins working on the next customer’s* “I need to manually take off your tax for you. You’re good to pay now.”

Customer: “What? There should be signs up instead!”

Me: “There are signs.” *points to the large sign right in front of him* “It’s just nobody really reads them.”

Customer: *completely, and utterly serious and loud enough for all of my customers and three cashiers over to hear* “Well, that’s your fault.”

(Needless to say, I know this man’s face, and plan to do him no favours in the future. If he comes through next time I’m working one of those days, he’d better read the signs and call me, because I have other customer’s payments to intercept.)

Attacking You At Close Quarters

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Right | April 24, 2017

(I work in customer service at a popular grocery chain in the Midwest. Our money is dispensed by a machine directly into our tills, so we do not have rolls of change.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Customer: “Fine, thanks. I just need two rolls of quarters for this twenty.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately we do not have rolls of quarters.”

Customer: “What? Yes, you do. I am in here all the time getting rolls of quarters.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’ve never done this to my knowledge.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. Fine, whatever. Can I just get some quarters then?”

Me: “I can do about five dollars in quarters. If I do much more, my drawer will be unbalanced, and I will run out of quarters.”

Customer: “You’re being ridiculous. This is poor customer service.”

(She glances at my name tag which says I’ve been working there for seven years. She knows I know what I’m talking about and her argument won’t hold.)

Customer: “Is there a manager I can speak to?”

Me: “Of course.” *I call the manager over and explain the situation*

(I begin doing something else at this point.)

Customer: *to Manager* “He was being very rude, too.”

(I have to turn away because I begin silently laughing at her saying I was rude. He gets into the safe, which has rolls for accounting, to get her some quarters. He isn’t supposed to do this and later gets yelled at by accounting.)

Customer: *to me as she walks away* “See! That’s customer service.”

(Lady, I have never been rude to a customer. I am sorry you feel that me being polite in telling you that we can’t do something is rude.)

A Gross Grocery Error

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Right | April 21, 2017

(This woman is a regular problem customer at our store. She comes up to the service desk, at which I have been working for a little over a week.)

Customer: “Yes, my husband was here last week and you overcharged him. I added up what he bought and you charged him too much.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. May I see your receipt so we can take a look and get this figured out?”

Customer: “I don’t have my receipt. I threw it out. But you overcharged him. Here.”

(She proceeds to hand me a handwritten list with about eight things written on it, none of them over a dollar. She then starts lifting empty packages with mark-down stickers on them from her cart, as if that’s proof.)

Me: “Um… so you don’t have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I threw it out. But you overcharged him.”

Me: “Well, we’ll have to look it up then. Do you have your customer card?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(She hands me her card and I write down the number on the back of it so we can look it up.)

Me: “And what day was your husband in here?”

Customer: “Uh… I don’t know. Thursday? Yes, Thursday.”

Me: “All right, give me a moment. I’m new up here so I’m going to need to get someone to help me look up your receipt.”

Customer: “Fine. But I need the money to buy groceries.”

Me: “Um… Okay, ma’am. Just give me a few minutes.”

(We look up the receipt from the day and two come up, both well over the amount she is telling me. So we print off the receipt and I go back out front to talk to her.)

Me: “We found the receipt and it looks like there are several others items on it.”

Customer: “No, he just bought these things. They must have made mistake. It doesn’t add up. You overcharged me.”

Me: “Well, I can’t give you any money back because the receipt says this is what he bought. If you want I can have someone check the cameras to make sure.”

Customer: “Okay. I’m going to go shopping and I’ll be back for my money. I need it for the groceries.”

(I call up the co-manager on duty and he goes back to check the cameras. The lady comes back about forty-five minutes later and the co-manager comes up to talk to her.)

Co-Manager: “We checked the cameras and your husband bought everything on the receipt.”

Customer: “No, they made a mistake. Overcharged me. I want my money back. I need it for groceries.”

Co-Manager: “Yeah, no one made a mistake. You weren’t overcharged. He bought everything.”

Customer: “No, it is a mistake. I need the money for my groceries.”

Co-Manager: “I’m sorry to hear that. Have a nice day.”

Making Decisions Is Talking Turkey

, | FL, USA | Right | April 18, 2017

Customer: “Can I have a pound of turkey, please?”

Me: “Which kind would you like, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’m sorry… what do you mean, ‘which kind’?”

Me: “We have over a dozen different kinds of turkey.”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no. I’m not making decisions. I’m on vacation. You’re not getting me to make any decisions. I’m on vacation so I won’t have to deal with that stuff.”

Me: “Then how can I know which kind of turkey you want, ma’am?”

Customer: “Turkey. TUR-KEY. You know, gobble gobble! What’s so hard about that?!”

Me: “Well, do you want plain, sweet, smoked or spicy?”


Me: *deadpan* “You want me to pick for you.”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “All righty.”

(I grab the nearest package of turkey without looking at it and cut her a sample slice.)

Customer: “This is gross! Why would you pick this flavor?!”

Me: “Well, that’s what sometimes happens when you don’t pick the flavor you want, ma’am.”

Customer: “Whatever! Just give me a pound of that gross s***!”

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