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Get A Handle On The Situation

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Me: “What kind of bags for you today?”

Customer: “Uhh… one with handles”

Me: *bags groceries in plastic*

Customer: “I wanted my groceries in bags with handles.”

Me: “Sir… I am pretty sure what I am holding right now are handles.”

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Drunk On The Power Of Coupons

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(Our store weekly has both sales that we mark down and promote, and sales on liquor which are exclusively marked down and handled by the state department of alcohol. Once per week, someone from the department comes in and does the signage for liquor sales. This particular week, a specific brand of coffee brandy is on sale: it was originally $9.79, but is now $6.79.)

Me: “Hello, sir!”

Customer: *grunts and unloads his basket*

Me: “Right, then…”

(I scan in his items, the last being a bottle of the brandy that’s on sale.)

Me: “All right, your total is—”

(I cut myself off as he literally throws something at me and it hits me in the cheek. I catch it and look at it.)

Customer: “Use that.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but I can’t. You see–”

Customer: “Are you deaf? Use that coupon!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t use this. It’s not a coupon.”

Customer: “What, are you blind, too? Just scan it!”

Me: “I can’t scan it. It’s not a coupon. It’s the sales sticker for the brandy you’re buying.”

Customer: *grabs the sticker and turns it around, thrusting it in my face* “See! Right there! $3 off!”

Me: “Right, $3 off of the original price. It’s originally $10 after tax and deposit, but it rang in at $7.”

Customer: “I don’t care what it rang in as! You scan this f****** coupon in!”

Me: “I can’t scan it in. Even if I could, I’d be giving you $10 brandy for $4.”

Customer: “If it ain’t a coupon, what’s this scanner bar for?!”

Me: “For the state liquor agents to scan to update their system and ours, so we don’t have to manually enter in the sale.”

(His face turns bright red and he starts screaming.)

Customer: “What the f*** do you know, you upstart little b****?!”

Me: “I know what a coupon looks like and I know that this particular brand of brandy is disgusting and for classless losers, which is why it’s on sale.”

(He screams at me again and storms out of the store, leaving his groceries and his wallet behind. My manager comes over and I hand her his wallet, ready to be yelled at for what I said to the man.)

Me: “Am I in trouble for talking back to a customer?”

Manager: *laughs* “H***, no! That was the best thing I’ve seen all week. Go put this sign back up and then take your break; you can have an extra five minutes.”

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Expressly Apologetic

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Popular

(While shopping, I pick up just a few things on the way home. I make my way to the registers and see a lone “six items or less” line open. I then almost skid to a stop when I see someone with a mostly full cart skid to a stop. Just as I’m about to turn around and head to another lane, she looks up.)

Woman: “Oh, s***!”

Cashier: “Are you all right!?”

Woman: “No, I didn’t even see this was an express lane! Oh, shoot, I’m so sorry. Here, go, go!”

(She then proceeded to wave me and the next two people who came up ahead of her; the cashier said he’d take her still since she was letting others through, and I guess she figured that still would have been quicker than re-loading all her stuff on the cart. Or maybe it was a self-imposed penance, but whatever the case, thank you to the lady that can admit your mistakes!)