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Not Even Remotely Close To Finding It

| TX, USA | Bizarre

(I work in the customer service department at a grocery store and get a call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I think I left something there the other day and was hoping you’d found it.”

Me: “All right, what was the item, ma’am?”

Caller: “A DVD remote.”

(I’m surprised at this, since we almost only sell food.)

Me: “I’m sorry. What?”

Caller: “A DVD remote. I always carry it with me for personal reasons.”

Me: “I’m sorry… but we haven’t had any remotes turned in.”

Caller: “Okay, just figured I’d check. Will you call me if it turns up?”

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Taking Out The Trashy Customers

| LA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Popular

(We have a policy on our non-perishable items that if they’ve been marked down a few times, the next time we charge only a penny for them, just to get rid of them. One of our regular customers has the annoying habit of knowing the markdown schedule and taking items she suspects are going to be a penny and hiding them throughout the store in odd places, so she can come back and retrieve them to pay only one cent. I’ve found many of these and returned them to the shelves, where they were promptly purchased by others. She’s previously yelled at me when her stashed items were gone. The next time the penny-pinching regular shows up:)

Customer: “What happened to the green vase?”

Me: “Which one is that?”

Customer: “The one that was so marked down. I wanted it.”

Me: *knowing I’d found it in her hidey hole and it had been sold* “Oh, that one. We threw it in the dumpster. It had been marked down and no one seemed to want it.”

Customer: “What? You just threw it in the dumpster?”

Me: “Yeah, but I don’t think they’d care if you wanted to peek in there and see if it’s on top.”

Customer: “Okay, then!”

Coworker: “What was that all about?”

Me: “I just sent her to dig to the bottom of the stinkiest garbage ever, for something that doesn’t exist.”

Coworker: “Good.”

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Lost Your Bargaining Chips

| Miami, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(I am looking at salad dressings at the grocery store when a woman casually picks some chips out of my cart. Note that I am standing right near the cart with one hand on the bar.)

Me: “Excuse me; I think you took my chips.”

Customer: “What was that, hon?”

Me: “You took my chips right out of the cart.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? You haven’t bought it yet, so I will.”

Me: *takes chips out of her cart* “YOU haven’t bought them either.”