Some People Can’t Change

| Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(At our store, we have a self-service lottery machine. It only takes bills and has a clearly printed sign stated it does not give change.)

Customer: “Does this machine not do change?”

Me: *thinking she means ‘give change’* “No, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Oh. I put a dollar in, but oh, well.”

(She leaves without purchasing anything from the machine. About an hour later, a coworker opens the lottery machine door to unload the money for the back office and a rain of quarters clatter to the floor. Apparently the customer had shoved actual change into the bill slot, and was surprised when it didn’t work!)


Expressing About The Express Lane, Part 2

| NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I am working at the customer service desk, which has a five-item limit so that customers who actually need help at the desk don’t have to wait forever behind people who are just buying groceries. Despite the neon pink signs stating the limit people will come through with way more than five, but will usually apologize and say they didn’t see the sign. However…)

Me: *in the middle of ringing through 10-15 items* “Just to let you know for next time sir, this desk is for one to five items only.”

Customer: *in casual, uncaring tone* “Yeah, I know. I read the sign.”

Me: *speechless*

Expressing About The Express Lane


Get Back On Time Or You’re In For A Grilling

| TX, USA | Bizarre

(Our store closes at midnight. It’s 11:45 pm and a gentleman with a bit of a slur walks up asking to buy one of our grills. The grills we sell are locked up outside and cost $99. I ring one up for him which comes to about $108.)

Customer: *slaps down $55* “Is that enough?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “Let me call someone to bring some money.”

Me: “Well, sir, we do close at midnight. I hope they can get here before then.”

(He hangs up his phone and appears a bit frantic. He begins to pat himself down looking for more money. He then lays a large pocket knife on my conveyor belt.)

Customer: “Listen, this knife is from [Another Store] and is worth $100. Call them; they can vouch for it. I’ll sell it to you for $10… $15, what do you say?”

Me: *shocked* “Um, no, sir, I cannot do that.”

Customer: “All right, dang, let me go home and get some more money. I’ll be back.”

Me: “It is 11:51 pm. You have nine minutes.”

(As my crew and I are cleaning up after midnight, there’s a phone call. Sure enough…)

Customer: “Hi, can I please speak to the man that was helping me with a grill earlier?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; he’s gone for the evening.”

Customer: “Okay, well, I’ll be back in there tomorrow for the grill.”

(Who needs a grill at 11:45 at night, anyway?!)

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