He’s Completely Off His Clocker

, , , , | Right | April 29, 2019

(I’ve just clocked out and left the back room, which is behind the deli counter. I’m still wearing my uniform, but my jacket is over it and my name tag is off. An old man near the counter immediately starts yelling at me.)

Old Man: “Finally! I’ve been waiting for someone to serve me for ten minutes! Where do you think you’re going?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m off the clock.”

Old Man: *sarcastically* “Well, good for you! You work here; you have to serve me!”

Me: *smiling as sweetly as I can* “Well, sir, it’s entirely illegal for me to work while off the clock. In fact, I could be fired for doing so. I may even get in trouble if I continue talking to you, I think. Bye, now.”

(I walked out the door. I probably would have taken a moment to find one of my coworkers for the guy if he’d been mildly polite.)

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Are You A Manager Or Are You A Mouse?

, , , , , | Working | November 20, 2017

(I am a cashier at a fairly popular grocery store. I also happen to make my own yogurt and cheese on occasion. A man comes through my line with his two daughters.)

Little Girl: “Why does Swiss cheese have holes?”

Man: “Oh, a little mouse eats its way through the cheese to make those.”

Me: *reflexively* “Ick! That would be terribly unhygienic! I’m pretty sure the bubbles form while the cheese is setting due to the special bacteria used in making Swiss cheese.”

(The little girl seems to consider this, though I’m sure she doesn’t quite understand the cheese-making process. The man pays and leaves without another word. Several days later, one of the store managers pulls me aside.)

Manager: “I got a call complaining about you today.”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “A man says you told his daughter the holes in Swiss cheese are because of bacteria, after he told her it was a cute little mouse.”

Me: “Yeah, I remember that. It isn’t a mouse.”

Manager: “I know that, but you know how it is with kids.”

Me: “I guess I don’t?”

Manager: “We tell them little stories.”

Me: “…”

Manager: “He says you ruined her childhood.”

Me: “I’m not apologizing for telling the truth to a little girl.”

Manager: “You contradicted her father in front of him. You have to be careful about things like this.”

Me: “I’m not apologizing for telling the truth! Especially because the lie was gross! A mouse crawling all over our cheese? Come on!”

Manager: “I know, but kids like mice. They’re cute.”

Me: *sigh* “Are you writing me up for this?”

Manager: “No, but I need to make sure you’ll ease up on what you tell kids.”

Me: “I’ll stick to letting them know that Santa isn’t real.”

Manager: *laughs* “You wouldn’t do that.”

Me: “Next time someone says I ruined a childhood, I’d like it to actually be true.”

Manager: “Well, next time, I’m definitely writing you up.”

(I quit that job as soon as I could. Stupid customers are bad enough without having management take their side.)

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Getting Your Panty-hose In A Twist Over A Dollar

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2017

(I work at a major retail store and we have some clearance items right now. Unfortunately, things get moved around a lot, or they are put in the right spot but don’t receive new stickers or have their prices updated in our system. The higher-ups at my job have decided that even if that is the case, we are only allowed to sell them for what the current sticker says. A lady comes in and is getting a bunch of clearance pantyhose and shape-wear.)

Customer: *as I’m ringing up the first item* “These were all on clearance on a $1 rack. Can you make sure they ring up properly?”

Me: “It looks like this one rang up fine.”

(I ring through a few more identical items and they ring up the same. I get to another item and it is marked at $2. I ring it up and it, as I thought, comes up as $2.)

Customer: “That’s not supposed to be $2.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to change the price on it. I am only allowed to sell it for the price marked on it.”

Customer: *becoming frustrated* “But it was on the shelf marked $1. Can’t you do something about it? I spend thousands of dollars here every year. Can’t you change it because it was in the wrong spot?”

(I say nothing and decide it would be easier if I don’t argue with her; we wouldn’t want to lose her “thousands” of dollars.)

Customer: “Thank you; that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Me: “…”

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