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Not Sure Whether We Can Weather This Weather

, , , , , , , | Friendly | April 22, 2023

I took a vacation to Greece with my long-time girlfriend. The weather report that morning said they were expecting partly cloudy skies and isolated rain showers, so we just decided to meander through the oceanfront shops, darting inside if things got wet.

A break in the clouds came, and we went to the port to just look out on the ocean and enjoy a little “us time”. We were talking and laughing about minor stuff and took a moment (or several) to kiss. 

When the kiss ended, a flash caught my attention. I turned out toward the water and saw some strange and very colorful lightning strikes on the open sea. They were in multiple colors — something I have never seen before. Some were red, some were purple, some were yellow, some were green, etc. 

On the land, it suddenly became very calm: no wind, just dead still. But what had been light and some slightly darker clouds had very abruptly turned black as night. 

I’m no weather expert, but when the skies do things you’ve never seen before, that’s usually a sign to relocate. Deciding surviving was the better part of valor, we hurried back to the car and drove away from the shore.

We decided to take just a few minutes to stop at a supermarket to get a few small things. We figured we were ahead of the storm enough to grab local snacks and spend the rest of the day snug and warm at the hotel. The skies were still blue above us when we jogged inside, so we figured fifteen minutes was a harmless span of time.

When we exited the supermarket, a wind started blowing and a slight rain started pouring. We hurried to the car and aimed for the hotel, still figuring we were okay and that we just needed to get there and be done with the day. Maybe we’d admit that we shouldn’t have stopped if we wanted to avoid getting soaked, shrug, and make a mental note for next time. The weather reports just said “rain showers”. The local people lived in a Mediterranean climate; surely they knew about the weather around here and their weather channel would have given us a severe weather warning? Surely.

Only two streets down, with the hotel literally in sight, the storm hit, and it hit hard!

I could barely drive due to the amount of water that was flooding the roads within seconds. The wind went from blowing to roaring like a tornado. Trees literally shredded and branches took flight. Suddenly, a metal table hit my car from the back, breaking the back window. My girlfriend screamed, and I’m pretty sure I was inventing new four-letter words as the interior of the car got soaked and my girlfriend’s hair started whipping around. Then, a large pot took flight lessons. I bless every engineer who built that vehicle because it had a reinforced windshield. The pot hit the driver’s side right about level with my face and wrecked the glass, but it didn’t shatter it.

I remembered what the street looked like and started driving by heart; the clouds had turned the afternoon into midnight and none of the buildings or streetlights were lit, which meant the power had been knocked out. I managed to turn into a garage, and we took refuge there along with several other vehicles that had gotten the same idea.

The storm raged for fifteen minutes, with random objects (including a street barricade or two) being flung in to join us. Everyone looked shellshocked inside their vehicles, lit only by headlights and interior vehicle lights. Just twenty minutes before, it had been 32C (a bit below 90F) outside with a clear sky. Now we were experiencing what felt like a hurricane, but literally, no one had gotten a warning from the forecast.

When everything calmed down, people started to get out of their cars and approach other vehicles’ windows with first aid kits to see if everyone was all right.

We later learned that a freak squall — a sudden, sharp increase in wind speed — had formed off the coast due to the very warm day and the cooling showers. It had dragged the rain along with it and had just gone crazy in the local area.

My girlfriend (now wife) was all right, as was I, other than being shaken, wet, and frazzled. Oh, and yeah, the car was totaled, but thankfully, the place we rented it from didn’t hold us responsible.

It just goes to show you how unpredictable weather can be, despite the best efforts of the experts.

Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Natisev | January 3, 2023

Last summer, I went on vacation in Greece with my family for a whole month. It was so great to see all of my friends again after a year. I am half Greek and half Dutch, and I have been living in the Netherlands for five years.

Flying back home took a whole day because of connecting flights and such. We booked a whole row of seats for the family and an aisle seat for me. Cue the Greeks who asked me to move one row back and to the opposite side so the wife could sit next to the husband. As they were flying to a foreign country, I was nice, gave up my seat, and went to the aisle seat where the wife had been sitting.

After a while, the couple said:

Couple: “Oh, you have the middle seat.”

I was confused because the wife had been sitting at the aisle.

Me: “That was not the agreement. I want my seat back.”

Couple: “Oh, well, now that we have switched, there’s nothing you can do.”

They grinned and laughed thinking, that they had played me. I was pissed, as was my family, but I noticed that the attendants were shutting the plane doors, so I just smiled and told my family to calm down and that everything would be all right.

This was a three-hour flight, so it wasn’t that short.

After we took off, I was still in an empty row. I had all the space to myself and was comfortably lying over three seats.

The couple noticed and made sour faces.

Couple: “Can you move back to your original seat?”

Me: “Oh, well, now that we have switched, there’s nothing you can do.”

It was amazing to see my whole family and the surrounding seats trying to cover their laughs; even the flight attendants were grinning.

Related:
Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 20

, , , , , | Right | November 25, 2022

It is Black Friday, and while some items are on big sales in our store, certain ones are not. A customer comes inside looking for an item she needs.

Customer: “Hey, girl! How much is [item #1]?”

Me: “It is 66€, madam.” *Shows her the price tag* “But since it’s Black Friday and we try to give even small discounts on all items, I can give you a 10% discount, so you can have it today for 59,40€.”

Customer: “No, it’s not 66€. It is 45€.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “I asked another lady here a couple of months ago and she said it is 45€ and she would give me a big discount on that, too!”

Me: “I believe she has shown you [item #2].” *Which is smaller and lower quality* “This [item] only came out about three weeks ago, so it wouldn’t have been here a couple of months ago, anyway. Would you like to see [item #2] again? I can sell it to you for 40€ instead of 45€ today.”

Customer: *Yelling* “You’re wrong! You’re trying to scam me! [Item #1] was here! I remember it, and the other woman promised it was 45€! You must sell it to me for 45€!”

Me: “I am sorry for the confusion, ma’am, but [item #1] has only come out recently. [Item #2] comes in the same color but is slightly smaller. They both have printed prices on them so you can check for yourself.”

I show her [item #2].

Customer: “Call that other woman! She will make you sell me [item #1] for 45€ and fire you! Call her right now!”

The “other woman” is off the clock, is not a manager, and is caring for a small kid, so I know not to call her unless it is a huge emergency.

Me: “No, ma’am, I will not call her. As I have explained, [item #1] costs 66€. [Item #2] is probably the one you saw and it is priced 45€. Even if the other lady was here, she wouldn’t be able to change the price.”

Customer: “You’re refusing to call her? I will make her fire you! You will be looking for a job tomorrow! She will fire you for refusing to give me [item #1]!”

Me: “I am sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am, but I am afraid she has no power to fire me. In fact, I believe she wouldn’t even give you the 10% off that I offered without consulting me first.”

Customer: “You lying b****! Why would anyone ask you to give discounts?”

Me: “Because, ma’am, I am the owner of this store.”

She looks at me like I have grown three heads out of nowhere and turns to leave.

Customer: “I will come in next time she is here and tell her you lied about being the owner! I will get you fired! This is not over!”

Me: “As you wish, ma’am!”

I really hope I am here next time she comes in.

Related:
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 19
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 18
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 17
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 16
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 15

Seems Like A Real Fun Guy To Work For

, , , , , , | Working | CREDIT: sapolapo | October 11, 2022

This happened several years ago when I was fourteen. Let’s say my name is Robert. I was on holiday on a tourist island in Greece with my parents, and we went to meet some relatives which were in a village nearby.

It was August, and we were a few days from my father’s birthday. He decided to book a place and have a party, so we went to see the owner. My parents, our relatives, and the owners were hanging outside this large club/bar on the seaside typical of the Greek islands.

I went inside and took a seat in the largest booth facing the TV and start watching and changing channels with the remote.

I could hear the group entering the bar and moving toward me, and out of the blue, the owner yelled at me.

Owner: “Hey, Robert, [Greek profanity similar to ‘wanker’], stand up and get the f*** out! Free that booth! We need it!”

I didn’t move, just turned my head in shock. At that exact moment, the owner grabbed me and yelled again.

Owner: “Robert, [Greek profanity], I told you to stand up and get the f*** out of the booth!”

Everybody was in shock. My father was outraged and yelled at the owner.

Father: “What the f*** is wrong with you?! Take off your hands from my son!”

He almost attacked the owner.

The owner froze and started to look at me. His face changed color, and then the realisation hit him. He started to apologise profusely and yelled around several times:

Owner: “Robert, where the f*** are you?”

Finally, a guy resembling me came out of the restroom. He was the waiter and cleaner of the place, and his name was Robert.

We could cut the cringe with a knife. Nobody was saying anything, and I decided to get out of the place.

My father moved the party to another venue.

We Hope This Class Was On The Ground Floor

, , , , , , | Learning | May 5, 2022

We’re having an exam in a computer lab. After we’re all finished, the examiner sits with each of us individually to see what we’ve done, and then we can go, but the grade will be revealed later. The classmate he’s currently with has taken this class at least once before.

Classmate: *Jokingly* “Sir, if I fail the class again, I’m going to jump out the window.”

Examiner: “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Let’s see.”

They spend a couple of minutes looking through his work.

Examiner: “All right, you can go.”

Classmate: “Through the door or the window?”

Examiner: “…The door.”