Cashier: Refund Thyself

, , , , | Working | June 20, 2018

(I am out shopping in a clothing store find four items I like. I decide to buy them and even make small talk with [Cashier #1] — and [Cashier #2] who is right next to her — as she completes the sale. On my way out, the alarm goes off and the security girl finds that [Cashier #1] forgot to remove one of the security tags from a shirt. As I have worked as a cashier, I know how easily something like this can happen, and go back so they can remove it.)

Me: “Hey, you forgot to take the safety tag off one of my items.” *smiling, presenting both my bag of purchases and my receipt*

Cashier #1: *without looking at my receipt* “Yeah, that happened because you never paid me for that.”

Me: “Actually, I did, about two minutes ago. You can also scan the item and my receipt to make sure.”

Cashier #1: “No, I remember you.”

Me: *thinking she actually remembered on her own* “So, how about getting the tag so I can go?” *still smiling*

Cashier #1: “I remember you. You never paid for this. Now give it back before I call the police on you for stealing!”

Me: *starting to feel embarrassed, as she accused me of stealing in a shop full of people* “Could you just take one look at my receipt? I paid for all my purchases; you were the one who rang me up!”

Cashier #2: “She is right, [Cashier #1]; you rang up that shirt. I was right next to you and I saw her paying.”

Cashier #1: “No, she didn’t! What are you trying to do, [Cashier #2]? Help her steal? I bet that everything she wears is either stolen or secondhand!”

(I am kind of underdressed today, wearing jeans and a hoodie. I usually wear business clothes, but I am just out to run some errands.)

Cashier #2: “[Cashier #1]! You can’t say that! And you can’t be rude to our customers! Now take a look at her receipt and remove the d*** tag!”


(The manager appears to see why there is yelling at the checkout lines.)

Manager: “What is the matter here?”

Cashier #1: *smirking* “No big deal. This b**** tried to steal a shirt and wasn’t happy that I stopped her!”

Me: *already crying from embarrassment* “I never stole anything! You accused me, insulted me, and refused to look at my receipt!”

Cashier #2: “It’s true, [Manager]. The lady has paid for her shirt; I can confirm that.”

Manager: “Miss, may I see you receipt, please?”

Me: “Yes.” *hand over receipt and bag* “You can also check I don’t have another one in there.”

(The manager checks the bag, the receipt, and the shirt.)

Manager: *probably trying to smooth out the situation* “Well, it seems like there was a misunderstanding. I am terribly sorry about all this. [Cashier #1], this lady has paid for all her purchases, just the cashier who rang her up forgot to take off this tag. You should always check the receipt before making accusations! Now, miss, do you remember who your cashier was? I must remind her to double-check for tags.”

Me: “Yes, it was [Cashier #1].”

Manager: *furious now* “Please let me get this straight, [Cashier #1]. You rang her up and you forgot to remove a tag. And when she came back, you accused her of stealing the item and insulted her. Is this true?”

Cashier #1: “I… erm… Well, look at her! She looks like a d*** [Romani slur]!”

Manager: “[Cashier #1]! OFFICE! NOW! Miss, we are terribly sorry for all this.”

Me: “I accept your apologies, but can I ask you for a favour, sir?”

Manager: “Of course!”

Me: “Could you make out a gift card to [Cashier #2]? Honestly, she is your best cashier. She stood up for me to [Cashier #1], and got yelled at by [Cashier #1] for me. I really want to thank her.”

Manager: “Of course, miss!”

(I never saw [Cashier #1] there again, but I see [Cashier #2] when I shop there and she recently got promoted to manager!)

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Demonic Plans Are Foil-ed

, , , , | Related | March 26, 2018

(I get home from work to see my mom’s microwave in the middle of the counter, inside a salt circle. Knowing my mom, I expect there is a logical explanation, but as she is at work and has only left me a note saying we are not to touch or move the microwave, I don’t know what that explanation is. My niece comes in and looks at the microwave, bemused. We are both “Supernatural” fans.)

Niece: “What is going on there?”

Me: *shows her the note* “I think your grandma captured a demon in the microwave.”

(It turns out that my mom read online that salt repels ants and she was trying to protect her microwave from them.)

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 33

, , , | Right | March 25, 2018

(I am working at a software company. I usually don’t bother with troubleshooting calls as I am not a technician, but this guy calls before they get to work and I figure I can try my luck.)

Customer: “Hello, I have a problem with my app.”

Me: “Good morning, sir. The technicians are not in yet, but let me know what the problem is and let’s see if there is something I can do about it.”

Customer: “Well, I tried to send some emails through the app, and it failed.”

(I walk him through some settings and other trivia he may have not seen.)

Customer: “No, it still will not send an email.”

Me: “Well, sir, in that case, you have to login to our company website and open a ticket, and one of our tech support will be with you as soon as possible.”

Customer: “I cannot do that. I have no Internet connection.”

(I tried to explain the notion of the Internet and emails and how they interact, while at the same time trying not to start banging my head on my desk.)

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 32
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 31
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 30

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Fixing Technical Issues Is A Real Beach

, , , | Right | February 1, 2018

(I have set up a mail account on a client’s laptop, SSL and all. Everything is working smoothly until one day the client calls me. The client is located on an island and has no easy access to local tech support.)

Client: “Can you help me? I cannot send or receive emails anymore. I think it started when Thunderbird got updated.”

(After three hours of using a super-slow remote connection session that keeps disconnecting, I end up reinstalling Thunderbird. I also delete and re-create the account. But still nothing. I am now sure the router has a problem.)

Me: “I believe there is something wrong with your router. Did you or anyone else mess with the router settings? Can you give me access to it so I can check?”

Client: “That is not my router. I am at a beach house today and I am using the beach-bar’s free Wi-Fi.”

Me: “…”

(I charged her twice the usual support fee, and I learned a valuable lesson: before you begin any remote tech support job, first ask the whereabouts of the client’s computer.)

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Intuit An Inuit

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 4, 2017

(We’re in a class about software development.)

Professor: “…and a good thing about software is that, although it can be easier if you have professional software, you don’t really need it. Anyone who has a computer can write a program. I was surprised to learn that something I’d been using was developed in the North Pole.”

Student: *joking* “With the penguins?”

Professor: “Yes! And it was probably one of them who wrote it.”

Student: “…A penguin?”

Professor: “Sure. They’re not primitive, you know. They have modern houses, computers, and everything.”

Student: “The penguins?

Professor: “Wait, isn’t that what the native people in the North Pole are called?”

Student: “Eskimos.”

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