A Strange Suggestion On The Power Of Suggestion  

, , , , | Right | May 10, 2020

It is the day before Mother’s Day, and since we have a flower department, we have a ton of deliveries for a lot of different orders going out over the next couple of days. One customer approaches me while I’m outside by our Adirondack chairs.

Customer: “I’d like to get two Adirondack chairs delivered to my house tomorrow morning, please.”

Me: “Well, we can get that out tomorrow, but since we have so many other orders I can’t guarantee it’ll get out in the morning; it’ll just have to go out whenever we get the chance. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Okay.”

He follows me inside and I place the order in the system for him.

Me: “All right, you’re all set. Have a good day!”

He continues to wander around the store for a bit, and I run outside to mark off the chairs he wanted for delivery. As he’s leaving the store, he passes by me again.

Customer: “When your boss is asleep tonight, whisper my name in her ear so she thinks of me and sends my chairs first thing in the morning.”

Me: *Pause* “Have a great day!” *Hurries back inside*

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Will Get It Done Come Rain Or Shine

, , , , , | Right | May 8, 2020

I work for a landscape design company in southern Arizona. I have a client who lives here during the winter when it is much warmer than their main home, which is Seattle. 

We are installing a landscape. It starts raining and we tell our crews to leave the site and quit for the day as the ground is becoming very muddy; plus, it is cold outside and we don’t want them to get sick.

The client calls me, speaking in an irate voice.

Client: “Why is the crew leaving? It is only 11:00 am.”

Me: “We told them to stop for the day due to the rain. Since it is cold outside, they could get sick. Also, because of the bare dirt in the yard, if it gets muddy they could make ruts in the yard, making more work for us and costing you more money to repair the damage.”

Client: “Workers where I am from work in the rain all the time.”

Me: “Well, that may be true, but when it gets above 90 degrees, are workers where you are from still working or do they quit for the day? Our crews here work many days in heat above 110 degrees.”

There is a long pause, and then he finally speaks before hanging up.

Client: “Well, they’d better finish on time.”

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That’s One Fishy Piece Of Fish

, , , , | Working | May 8, 2020

I’m at grocery store number five in an attempt to get one week’s worth of groceries during the recent outbreak and subsequent outages. This is the first store I’ve visited in a week with some kind of meat or seafood available.

Because there is no chicken, I get salmon. But it goes like this.

Me: “About how many pounds is this piece of salmon?”

Clerk: “I don’t know.”

I look at her and the scale expectantly. The clerk weighs the piece and it shows just over three pounds.

Me: “I’d like to get that, and would you please cut it into ten pieces?”

Clerk: “Do you want the whole piece?”

Me: “Yes.”

The clerk takes the salmon piece away to a cutting board and cuts it up. She returns with the salmon and a troubled look on her face. I see that the pieces appear to vary widely in weight from two to eight ounces. If cut evenly, they should all have been about five ounces.

Clerk: “This salmon only had nine pieces in it. Do you want another piece?”

Me: “Um… No, thanks.”

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They’re Going To Regret That In The Morning

, , , , , , | Right | May 8, 2020

I work at a call center for a cellular network. We are open 24/7 so everyone gets night shifts. 

A lot of callers are just drunkards, calling and talking dirty with female executives. At first, we are instructed to simply disconnect the call, but the number of calls doesn’t go down. Now, we have started logging in “caller used abusive language” and “flagging” the interaction. 

The QA on shift hears the call and if they find it abusive — which it always is — they will block the number. 

The customer will call next morning saying he isn’t able to make calls and the executive tells him that his number is blocked because of his behaviour. 

In order to unblock his number, he has to submit a written apology at his nearest cellular retail store. 

Within a month, these calls dropped.

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You Think YOU Hate Math?

, , , , , , | Learning | May 8, 2020

I work as a private tutor to help pay for college. I usually tutor math, but sometimes I’ll also tutor the more math-heavy sciences. Most of my students are regulars who have weekly or monthly appointments, but at exam time, I get a lot of new and often one-time students. They — or their parents — want someone to help them study for their exams.

When I get a three-hour booking for Algebra 2, I know it’s going to be one of those cram sessions. However, once I arrive, the mother asks me to also tutor her other two children in AP Physics and AP Chemistry after I’m done with the three-hour session. She makes it sound like they only need a little help with the math, so I agree on the condition that she pays a slightly higher rate for the last-minute change and understands that I haven’t had time to review any of the material for the second two subjects.

It turns out that all three of her children need an intense cram session to learn an entire semester’s worth of material in a single day. The first kid keeps to the three-hour time frame, but the other two need even longer. It’s not just the math they need help with, either.

I arrive at 9:00 am, and I’m there until 9:00 pm.

They provide me with two meals, since I wasn’t expecting to be there so long. However, there’s an ingredient mixed into the sauce at dinner that I’m allergic to. The allergy is mild, so I don’t even notice until after I’ve finished eating and don’t need medical attention. It does make my throat sore, though. For the last three hours or so, I’m progressively losing my voice, between the allergic reaction and the fact that I’ve been talking almost nonstop for hours.

By the end of it, I’m mentally exhausted. The mother states an amount of money and asks if it’s right while counting out bills — most other clients pay electronically or by check. I’ve never even seen that much money at once, so I just nod without thinking about it. It’s not until I get to the car that I realize the total doesn’t cover the number of hours I worked, even at my base rate. If it was just a few dollars, I might not bother going back, but it’s short by about $100.

I go back and knock on the door, feeling a little ridiculous to have not caught the mistake right away. I explain what happened, and the mother, of course, asks why I got the math wrong if I’m a math tutor.

The father is standing nearby and hears my explanation of the situation. Before I can answer, he comes up behind his wife and says, “Probably because you just had her work a twelve-hour shift of mentally taxing work when she was expecting a few hours, tops, and then nearly poisoned her. Just pay her, honey.”

The wife still seems reluctant, so the husband gives me two hundred-dollar bills from his wallet and tells me to keep the change. It was probably the most money I’ve ever made in a single day, but I decided I was never doing it again. This is why I now have a blanket policy of no unexpected extra students or school subjects.

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