Must Have Had A Cabin Fever

, , , , | | Right | August 14, 2019

(I’m taking an interstate overnight train trip. I have booked a sleeper cabin to ensure I get a decent sleep. I join the train a few hours into the journey, only to find the door to my cabin locked.)

Me: “Excuse me, but I can’t get into my cabin.”

Train Staff: “Oh, sorry. Sometimes the staff who make up the cabins accidentally lock the door. Let me fix that for you.”

(After checking my ticket and confirming that it is my cabin, she unlocks the door and leaves. I walk in to find a woman already there playing on her phone.)

Woman: “What the h***? Get out!”

Me: “What? This is my cabin.”

Woman: “No, it’s not. Get out!”

Me: “My ticket says this is my cabin. I think you’re in the wrong one.”

Woman: “I don’t give a f*** what your ticket says; this is now my cabin. You’re in car D, seat 8. Now, f*** off.”

(I realise that she booked a normal seat and then just found an empty cabin:)

Me: “Look, lady. I paid for this cabin. You need to get out and let me get some sleep.”

Woman: “I don’t give a f*** what you paid for; this is my cabin now and I’m not leaving. Now, f*** off!”

(I decide to get a staff member. I find the same lady who unlocked the door for me and explain the situation. She grabs the head staff member.)

Head Staff: *again unlocking the door* “Ma’am, this isn’t your cabin. I need to see your ticket.”

Woman: “You wouldn’t expect a pregnant woman to sit in a small, uncomfortable seat the whole way, would you? She’s only on here for a few hours. Surely she can sit in the seat and let a poor, pregnant woman have a bed?”

Head Staff: “Ma’am, if you wanted a bed, you should have booked a cabin. This is this lady’s cabin. I need you to vacate it immediately.”

Woman: “Well, too bad. I’m not moving, and if you touch me, I’ll have you arrested for assaulting a pregnant woman and sue you for everything you’re worth. Now, f*** off and let me sleep.”

(She then slams and locks the door. All three of us are stunned.)

Head Staff: “I’m so sorry about this.” *to other staff* “Take her to the buffet and get her anything she wants on the house. I’ll sort this out.”

(I get a coffee and a sandwich and wait. As we pull into the next station, an announcement is made:)

Announcement: “Due to unforeseen circumstances, we will be delayed here for a while. Please feel free to stretch your legs, but please do not leave the platform.”

(I got out to have a cigarette and walk around, and I saw the two transit cops and four police officers escorting the woman off the train in handcuffs. It turns out that she’d refused to go back to the seat she’d paid for and had assaulted the transit cops who tried to move her luggage from the cabin. The train was delayed by nearly an hour while this took place and I had to wait for another half-hour while my cabin was cleaned and remade.)

An App-allingly Inefficient Way To Purchase

, , , , , , | | Right | August 13, 2019

(It’s the morning shift of a stocking day, so I usually have to put away the contents of a truck while simultaneously attending to any customers my coworkers are too busy to help. My coworkers at this time of day usually include only my manager, maybe one additional crew member, and a cook. As the early morning turns to a few hours until noon, we start getting more and more customers all at once, forcing my manager and additional crew member to call for my help to handle them all. I head to the front of the store to take out a few orders. Before I deliver to this one woman, my manager tells me that she wants to pay with her credit card. I can see more customers coming in and I know my coworkers are going to need my help with them, too, so I don’t really give it much thought. I just take it out.)

Me: *places her order on her table* “Here we are, ma’am. That’ll be $8.78.”

Woman: “I wanted to pay with my card, but it wouldn’t work. Something’s wrong with your machine. I have money on my card.”

(Our booths are installed with a card scanner that allows customers to pay for their orders before they arrive, but because we prioritize speed at our restaurant, we often stop the clock on orders before they’re ready, which causes the machine to think the order is on its way to the customer before it actually is.)

Me: “If I had to guess, the machine probably didn’t have a chance to actually do anything with your card. Let’s try again.”

(I enter in a code that lets me pull up her order and allow it to be paid for — assuming it wasn’t already paid for — and then attempt to run the card.)

Machine: *declines card*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but your card is being declined.”

Woman: “I know I have money on it; it must be the machine.”

Me: “Well, let’s try another one, then.”

(I take the card to another machine, enter the code, and swipe the card on her order, only to get the same message.)

Me: “I’m… sorry, ma’am. While I won’t claim to know what the problem is, I can say with relative certainty that it’s not an issue with our scanners. These machines have been working on the vast majority of cards perfectly fine since yesterday.”

Woman: *accepts her card back and pulls out her phone* “Fine. I don’t carry cash on me, so I’ll pay with the app.”

Me: “Let me just get the app payment code for your order.”

(I go just behind the see-through employees-only door to pull up the information on a system-tablet. I return and gives her the number.)

Woman: “What do I do with that?”

Me: *comes to the conclusion this is her first time using the app* “You enter it into the app and the order gets paid for.”

(She spends several minutes fiddling with her phone. All the while, I can see customers pouring in. Likewise, I set up the tablet on the other side of the see-through door with the screen showing that the order hasn’t been paid yet.)

Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Woman: “My phone’s just taking a few minutes to download the app.”

(I was flabbergasted. The app pays by means of prepaid amounts put into a personal account. I was going to have to wait here while she downloaded the app, set up an account, and put $10 on said account before she could pay; all the while, my coworkers were scrambling, trying to juggle the influx of new customers without me. I couldn’t just leave, lest I be held responsible for anything that happened. She took twelve minutes. Anyone who works in the fast food industry knows how long twelve minutes is to coworkers and waiting customers!)

Be Glad You Didn’t Send Him Out For A Flux Capacitor

, , , , , , | | Working | August 12, 2019

(Some painters are painting our house inside and outside, so they are there for some weeks. The boss is constantly pranking his employees. At one time, he sends a young employee to get a skirting-board ladder. The boy gets in his car and leaves. Four hours later, he still hasn’t returned and the boss calls him on his phone.)

Boss: “Where the h*** are you? “

(Inaudible answer from the boy.)

Boss: “You are at home playing video games? Come back now!”

(The boy returns and the boss starts chewing him out.)

Boy: “I knew skirting-board ladders do not exist. So, I just had a relaxed time wondering how long it would take you to realise that your prank wasn’t all that good. Now, do you want me to get some striped paint, double-sided masking tape, brushes made of mink, or a square paint roller? I can go look for them…”

(All the other painters laughed and the boss look very embarrassed. To be fair, the boss did pay the boy for the four hours he was at home playing video games, but he also cut back on his pranks.)

Ayn Rand: The Child Years

, , , , | | Learning | August 12, 2019

(I am a summer camp counselor. I am waiting for the next activity with my campers on a bench when we spot a spider on the bench next to us. The campers are around ages seven to nine.)

Me: “Oh, hey, there’s a little spider here. Watch out for it!”

Camper #1: “That’s a jumping spider!”

Me: “Really? Do you like spiders?”

Camper #1: “Yeah! I study spiders a lot!”

Camper #2: “I like to study cars!”

Camper #3: “I study human weakness.”

 

Retail Is Mind Numbing

, , , , , , | | Working | August 10, 2019

(I’m at the bank to make a deposit. While I’m filling out the deposit slip, I overhear a conversation between two tellers. Apparently, [Teller #1] is on the phone with a customer who is filling out a direct deposit form and needs their account number.)

Teller #1: “Am I allowed to give them that over the phone?”

Teller #2: “Technically, yes, you are, if they prove their identity, but they discourage us from doing it because it’s a security issue. If you feel comfortable doing it, you can, but I wouldn’t.”

Teller #1: “So, we can’t do it?”

Teller #2: “No, you can, if you feel comfortable doing it. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it, so I wouldn’t.”

Teller #1: “So… we can’t do it?”

Teller #2: “No, we can, if you feel comfortable doing it. I personally wouldn’t.”

Teller #1: “So, we can’t do it?”

Teller #2: “No, you can, if you feel comfortable doing it…”

(They repeated this exchange over and over again until I took my deposit up to [Teller #2]. By that point, it took all my willpower not to scream, “The answer is NO!” I made no comment, but inside, I was marveling at how businesses insist on having official policies for the convenience of the customer that they then “discourage” employees from following for security. I felt sorry for them both. Having worked in retail years ago, I’m well familiar with the “never give the customer a straight no” rule, but I’ve never seen someone have that drilled into them so badly that they can’t give a coworker a straight answer, either.)