I work for a design firm. We’re in our weekly team meeting. My manager is reviewing project timelines, and everyone’s half-awake until one coworker, who’s been with the company for two years and understands roughly 3% of her job, suddenly chimes in:

Manager: “So, we’re aiming to have the client deliver final assets by Friday so we can start design on Monday.”

Coworker: *Interrupting.* “Wait, why are they sending us stuff? Shouldn’t we be sending them the assets?”

Manager: “No, we’re designing their product. We need their branding and content first.”

Coworker: *Squinting at his notes.* “Oh. I thought we already had their logo.”

Me: “We have a placeholder logo you pulled from Google Images.”

Coworker: *Nodding confidently.* “Yeah, that one.”

The room goes silent. Our manager takes a slow breath.

Manager: “Please tell me you didn’t send that to the client.”

Coworker: *Grinning.* “Well, I figured I’d save us time.”

Me: “You sent the wrong logo to the client. To save them time.”

Coworker: “Uh… yeah?”

The logo is a classic escutcheon, basically the heraldry shield you see on educational institutions, flags, government departments, etc.

Me: “The logo literally had lorem ipsum where their Latin motto will eventually go. The client thinks our final design is lorem ipsum?!”

Coworker: “Do those things mean something?”

Manager: “[Coworker], didn’t you go to Harvard?”

Coworker: *Proudly.* “Yeah!”

Manager: “You didn’t come across ‘Veritas’ written anywhere during your time there?”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah! I remember all the girls in my sorority saying, ‘In Vino Veritas’ or some s*** like that.”

Manager: “Well… anyway, we’re getting side-tracked. [My Name], call [Client] immediately and tell them what we sent was a placeholder. [Coworker], the text on the logo does mean something; it’s in Latin. Don’t assume it’s gibberish.”

Our manager manages to bring the meeting back on track. After the meeting, I go up to my manager:

Me: “[Coworker]’s Latin earlier, did she say—”

Manager: “—”In wine, there is truth”, yes, I caught that too. If that was her sorority’s motto, it explains the rest of her education…”

A new client commissions me to draw a series of maps. Because these are quite time-consuming, I ask a lot of questions to make sure we are both on the same page with regard to content and style.

After about a week of work, I present him with the final product.

Client: “This is great, but I need some changes to what areas the maps cover.”

Me: “Okay, that’s really a significant change. Since I did my best to make sure I was doing the work you needed beforehand, I’m going to need to charge you for changes. I’m happy to do them, but they are outside the scope of our initial contract.”

He disappears for two months.

After months of chasing him down…

Me: “All right, well, if you’re not going to respond, I’m going to close this contract. You can either pay me to get the final version, or I will find another buyer.”

Client: “No! I want it. I just need you to change one thing.”

Me: “Which is?”

It’s been a month. He still hasn’t told me what that change is.

I’m a freelance graphic designer, and I was commissioned to do a selection of designs, including a logo, a poster, a T-shirt, and a video trailer for this event promotion project. 

Client: “We want the T-shirt with the logo on it.”

Me: “Okay. Can you send me the full-resolution logo file?”

Client: “No, no, we’d like you to make the logo.”

Me: “That’s fine; I can add that to the quote.”

I send them off the estimation, and they ask me to cut the video as it’ll be too expensive for them. I remove it and send the estimation back with all the elements minus the video. 

Me: “Is this okay? If it is, I’ll draw up the contract.”

Client: “Yes, that’s fine!”

They sign the contract and pay the deposit, and I begin on the logo first as it’s going to be used throughout the other designs. 

Me: “For the logo design, it might be worth chatting with [Original Event Hosting Company] to see if they want to reuse it for other future events. If so, then it would cost a bit extra for an extended license, which they might be willing to put up some money for.”

Client: “Oh! We didn’t want a logo. We were just using that as an example.”

Having already spent several hours on the logo, I was pretty annoyed — especially since “Logo Design” was clearly marked on BOTH invoices and the contract they agreed to.

I added the wasted hours to the final invoice.

I worked at a sign shop (part of a national chain) as a graphic artist and sign designer. We hired a new salesperson. While I had high hopes for him, I eventually discovered that he had the IQ of a drunken gnat.

One afternoon, he stuck his head into my office.

New Salesperson: “Hey… Do we have green polystyrene?”

Me: “How big a piece do you need?”

New Salesperson: “Five inches by eight feet. Four of them.”

Me: “No, we only have smaller scrap pieces. You’ll have to order a piece from the distributor. Oh, and order it precut; our wallcutter won’t cut that size.”

When the strips arrived at the store, he complained that the supplier had cut the strips wrong; they were supposed to be five inches by eight inches, not feet. I reminded him that he had asked me for five-inch-by-eight-foot lengths, which he adamantly denied. However, a glance at the order confirmation sheet the supplier had faxed him moments after taking his order proved him wrong. I took one of the strips and cut off four eight=inch lengths.

I then handed him the newly cut pieces.

New Salesperson: “What’s this?”

Me: “The material for the signs you ordered.”

New Salesperson: “You cut them wrong.”

Me: “No, I assure you that those are cut to eight-inch lengths. Measure them if you don’t believe me.”

He measured the piece, confirming that yes, it was indeed cut to five inches by eight inches. He then walked out to the showroom and measured a sign on the wall. He walked back, giggling.

New Salesperson: “Oops… They’re supposed to be five inches by eighteen inches.”

I got this email from my university today. They often forward us large lists of potential jobs, but I received this one three times in one day. I figured it was worth sharing.

Client: “Hello! My name is [Client]. I am currently on the [Redacted] International Experience: 2016 Career Exploration Program’s planning, and our team is in dire need of a design intern. The program I just mentioned is a summer career exploration program, hosted by the university and geared toward high school students. As a member of the planning committee, I am in charge of many aspects of the program, including design, and our team needs additional help designing the program’s student handbook, orientation packet, and more. I need help finding an enthusiastic individual willing to join our International Experience Team.

“I know that it’s short notice, and I understand completely if you are unable to help, but I am just asking if you know of anyone or could set up a meeting with anyone who would be interested in an unpaid summer internship focusing on design.”

In other words, “We need an entire project done in less than a week for free.”