The Mistake Was His

, | Canada | Related | April 29, 2017

I was born out of wedlock. While everyone was supportive of the boyfriend (my dad), such as my mom’s parents, siblings, and other family members, my great-grandpa was not. He told my mom that the boyfriend was just going to leave her and then the baby is going to be a problem with her parents. They would have to take care of her, and her siblings, and the baby. But the boyfriend (my dad) never leaves her and they are able to have me, get jobs, and a house.

I never knew I had a great-grandpa until my sister is born. I am 10 at the time. He appears at my grandparents’ house one day just to see my baby sister. He is saying that this is how you have a baby. He doesn’t really acknowledge me and when he finally does, he just tells me I was a mistake.

It got me upset and we left my grandparents’ house. My parents told me, I wasn’t a mistake and was one of the best things that happen to their lives. I later heard from my parents that whole family cut their ties with my great-grandpa. Which I was fine with.

A Crowd-Pleasing Book

, | USA | Related | October 7, 2016

My dad had recently started his own business. My grandparents have come to town to visit, and my dad and grandma spend a few hours discussing his business plan, including contrasting it with crowdfunding and other things that he’d learned getting his business degree that hadn’t existed when my grandma retired.

A few days later, my dad gets an urgent phone call from my grandma; she had ordered “something important” for him and should arrive in the mail any second now, and to call and let her know as soon as he received it.

Nearly a week later, the mystery package arrived. Inside was a book: “Crowdfunding For Dummies.”

Weekend Roundup: Grandmothers Gone Wild

, | Not Always Related | Related | March 18, 2012

Grandmothers Gone Wild! This week, we share five stories that show grandmas still have plenty of gas in the tank!

  1. Quiet In A Flash:
    When mom fails to keep her little girl quiet, a grandmother proves she’s still good for a “flash” of parenting inspiration.
  2. Ah, Grandmothers:
    Act like a child around grandmother, and she’ll act like a child right back!
  3. Don’t Let Grandma Give You A Puck On The Cheeks:
    Behind every raucous hockey player brawl is a bloodthirsty grandmother egging them on.
  4. It’s Just Water Under The Fridge:
    Having kids: been there, done that, don’t care.
  5. Grandma’s Secret Ingredient:
    We always wondered why grandma would never tell us what was in her special sauce. Now we know why…

PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

Flipping Out

, | | Right | December 8, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “We just moved my grandmother’s TV and I think the cable has been disconnected at the outlet where we moved it. Could you send someone to reconnect it?”

(Suddenly, the grandmother grabs the phone.)

Caller’s Grandmother: *yelling* “That is not what happened! The cable has been hooked to that outlet since the ’70s! You people just need to flip the little switch and turn it back on!”

(The grandson gets back on the phone.)

Caller: “I am so sorry. Please ignore her. I just need to set up an appointment for the technician to come out.”

Me: “No problem. My grandmother can be like that, too. I can have someone out on Tuesday.”

Caller’s Grandmother: *yelling in the background* “You are not listening! All they have to do is flip the switch! Don’t let them lie to you!”

Caller: “Grams, when you moved the TV back in the ’80s you had the cable disconnected from this outlet and reconnected at the other end.”

Caller’s Grandmother: “Now you’re lying! I’m going to make sure that I’m not here when they come out. This is ridiculous! Tell them not to come!”

Me: “Tell her that our switch is broken here and we have to manually come out and flip it in her home. We’ll be there Tuesday.”

(The grandson relays this information.)

Caller’s Grandmother: “Oh, okay, then. I’ll see them Tuesday.”

Caller: *to me* “Bless you.”

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Grannies: Gotta Love ‘Em

, , | | Right | September 3, 2008

(A new employee informs me that she spotted a little boy sneaking some candy in his pants. I confront the boy and an older woman about it.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Hey, kiddo, what’s in your pocket?”

Boy: “Nothing!”

Granny: “Oh, h***, again?! Boy, if you don’t put that d***ed candy back, that lady’s gonna call the police on you! And I ain’t gonna stop her none.”

(The boy, crying, hands me two candy bars and a handful of suckers. I thank the lady, and get back to work. A few minutes later, the boy’s mother comes up to me.)

Mama: “Is that the b****?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Mama: “Ain’t talking to you.”

Boy: “Yes, mama.”

Mama: “Girl, you being rude to my son?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Mama: “So why you take away his candy?”

Me: “Because it wasn’t paid for.”

Mama: “Says who? I got him that candy!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s at least 100 degrees outside, and your boy had unmelted chocolate in his pocket. He didn’t bring that in with him. Besides, he was seen taking the candy off the shelf.”

Mama: “What? Who said that?” *turns to the other cashiers* “Which one of you a**holes told on my boy?”

Me: “Excuse me, but that’s not important.”

Mama: “What’s your point, then?!”

Me: “The point is, your boy was caught stealing.”

Mama: “Forget about the d***ed candy, you nosy b****! Ain’t none of your business!”

Me: “Ma’am, your son was spotted shoplifting, which is a crime. You’re lucky I don’t report him.”

Mama: “You stupid b****! I don’t give a flying f*** about the candy!”

(She raises her hands as if to hit me.)

Me: *to Coworker* “Call the manager, he should be in by now.”

(Just then, Granny appears out of nowhere and smacks her daughter with her handbag.)

Granny: “WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING, GIRL?” *continues to smack and berate her daughter* “Upsetting people like that! No common sense! S***! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!”

Mama: “But, Ma–”

Granny: “SHUT YOUR MOUTH GIRL! GET IN THE D***ED CAR!” *turns to me* “I’m so sorry about that. She’s crazy, I swear to God. She’ll never come back in here; I promise.”

Me: “…”

Granny, to daughter: “CAN’T TAKE YOUR CRAZY A** NOWHERE! S***!”

(She walked out like nothing happened, and true to her word, I’ve not seen that lady since.)

 

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