Five-Hour Gap In Your Geography

, , , , , | Working | July 19, 2018

(I call a tech company that is based in the USA. I’m in Canada.)

Tech Company: “Just drop into our nearest store and we can do this.”

Me: “That won’t happen.”

Tech Company: “What do you mean? It is just the next town over, right?”

Me: “Yes… which is about five hours away.”

Tech Company: “What do you mean? It’s the next town; it can’t be that far.”

Me: “You do realize how far apart cities are here in Canada, right?”

Unable To Drive The Economics Of The Situation Home

, , , , , | Working | March 29, 2018

(My vehicle has just gone out of commission due to an accident, and relatives that I live with have a conflicting schedule with mine, so I can’t get a ride into work. I phone in explaining the situation. I live about ten minutes, highway time, out of town, but my job is on the outskirts.)

Me: “I won’t be able to make it in. My vehicle is still out of order, but I should have it good to go by tomorrow.”

Manager: “I really need you in for tonight, though.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I literally have no means to show up for work. I’m phoning to hopefully give you as much notice as possible.”

Manager: “I can just send a taxi.”

(Taxis have special “out of town” fees, making it cost around $80 for each trip.)

Me: “You realise the price of the taxi, each way, is going to be almost as much as you’d be paying me for the day… Right?”

Manager: “What about it?”

Me: “At this point, it’d just be cheaper just to get somebody else. If you can give me triple my pay without batting an eye, all of us are being underpaid.”

Manager: “Well, it’ll be fine.”

Me: “I refuse to see double my pay be used just to bring me in. It’d be cheaper to get somebody to work overtime or get somebody else.”

Manager: “So, you’re not coming in?”

What Calls Around Comes Around

, , , , , , | Working | March 27, 2018

(I work in fast food, which means health codes. A big one being, simply put, if you are sick, you can’t work with food. Needless to say, when I get sick one day, I phone in accordingly.)

Manager #1: “All right, I’ll find somebody to cover your shift. Get some rest.”

Me: *very drowsy, and barely able to talk through fits of coughing* “Will do.”

(About ten minutes later I get a phone call.)

Manager #2: “Hey, would I be able to ask you to work later today? Somebody from [Our Location] phoned in sick.”

Me: *long pause* “Was it [My Name]?”

Manager #2: “Uh… Yeah. How did you know?”

Me: “Because I’m the one who phoned in sick.”

Manager #2: “OH! I had names mixed up. Sorry. Well, get some rest.”

(We had a good chuckle, once I got better, about how I got phoned in to cover my own sick day.)

Turning The Coding System Upside Down

, , , , , , | Working | March 27, 2018

(At our store we have radios almost all of the staff use for quick communication, as well as codes for certain things. For reference, a “29” is the code for, “Need change for the cash drawer.”)

Coworker #1: “Hey, can I get a 69, please? I really need some fives.”

(At this point, half of the staff are laughing, but nobody corrects her, and she gets her change. The next day, however…)

Coworker #1: “Hey, I need a 69. Running low on tens.”

Coworker #2: *laughing between words* “Wow, are you really that desperate for money?”

Coworker #1: “What? What do you… Oh, my gosh. What did I say?”

No Point In Waffling On About It

, , , , , | Related | December 23, 2017

My family has a routine every Christmas where we get all sides of the family together and do a sort of gift exchange. Basically, everybody brings one gift with no tags (so, no “To” or “From”), and we put it in a pile. Then, we play a game to shuffle them around, slowly unveiling gifts. I have brought a hybrid waffle iron/sandwich press for the bundle, and it’s now wrapped up and in the pile.

We go through our game, and people start getting their gifts and opening them. Finally I’m the last person to get a gift, and I look down and start laughing. At first, nobody seems to get it, until my parents see my distinguishable wrapping in my hands and join me in laughing.

I had gotten my own gift from the bundle.

After I explained this the entire family had a good laugh about it. It has been a well-used appliance in our house, so definitely worth it!

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