A Degree In Awesome

, , , , , , | Learning | November 1, 2017

(I am in a political science class doing a lecture on the Constitution.)

Teacher: “I will give a degree to anyone who can recite the preamble to the Constitution from memory.”

(After a moment, I shakily raise my hand. He nods at me to proceed.)

Me: “We the people, in order to… Um, I have to sing it.”

Teacher: *slightly puzzled* “Uh, go ahead.”

(I then sang the Schoolhouse Rock preamble song that had been drilled into my head for years. The class applauded, my teacher wrote my degree title on a sheet of notebook paper, and one student insisted on calling me Kelly Clarkson for the rest of the class. It was my crowning achievement in college.)

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Pro-Life, Con-Sub

| Learning | October 25, 2016

(Everyone’s favorite teacher is the AP Government teacher. He’s a really funny guy with ADD, so no matter how boring the material is, his class is lively and interesting. We usually come into his class excited and talkative. One day though, we have a substitute, some mustached guy in his 60s. He is super quiet as we come in, just sort of staring at us.)

Substitute Teacher: “Hello, I’m Mr. [Substitute], and I used to be a gynecologist.”

(Everyone goes completely silent, and it only gets worse from there. He keeps trying to weave his political opinions into the lesson, going so far as to bring up abortion and give us a monologue about it. Regardless which side of the abortion debate you’re on, it has absolutely nothing to do with our lesson, and only succeeds in creeping everyone out. Some of us want to leave, but no one wants to talk to him to ask for permission. Our normally talkative class is dead silent for two hours. After our teacher came back:)

Teacher: “So how was the sub?”

(The class gives a long explanation detailing our horror and disgust.)

Teacher: “Holy s***, seriously? I wouldn’t have blamed you if all the girls had just gotten up and walked out of the classroom. We are never hiring that guy again!”

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