These Minutes Are Minutiae

| Ontario, Canada | Time

(I work in the pro shop at a golf course, and people often call to make tee times. Note that our tee times are spaced 8 minutes apart.)

Me: “Hello, this is [golf course]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to make a tee time for 2:30, please.”

Me: “Alright, I’ve got 2:32. Can I have your last name, please?”

Customer: “2:32?! That’s WAY too late! Do you have anything earlier?”

Me: “Sure, I have 2:24.”

Customer: “2:24?! That’s MUCH too early. You guys need to have better times!”

Should’ve Ripped You A New One

, | Birmingham, AL, USA | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a really nice Country Club on the golf course side of things. Since it is a nice club, it isn’t unusual to get fairly large tips every once in a while.)

Me: “Hey mister, could you break a hundred for me so we split tips tonight?”

Member: *clearly inebriated* “Sure, man, I can totally break that hundred for you!”

(I hand him the hundred dollar bill which he then proceeds to rip in half and then hand back to me.)

Member: “There! I broke it for you.” *walks off laughing with his friends*

Other Member: “Man, what an a**hole. Here’s another hundred for the ripped one. I appreciate y’all.”

(I took the ripped hundred to the bank and they replaced it. I tried to give the other hundred back, but the member refused and said we earned it!)

Stupidity Can Go Either Way (Comic)

| Florida, USA | Old Comics


Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

Nuts For Cashews

| Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, [golf course].”

Customer: “Yes, Do you guys sell cashews?”

Me: “As a matter of fact, we do.”

Customer: “So how much are they?”

Me: “$2.40.”

Customer: “Okay, so can I get a tee time for 2:00?”

Me: “Sure. How many people?”

Customer: “Just me.”

Me: “Okay, and golf cart or walking?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m not golfing. I’m just coming to pick up the cashews!”

Always Right, Even When Shooting Down A Helicopter

| Top

(At the golf course where I work, it’s been a very a hot day and an older man unfortunately has a stroke/heart attack in the middle of the range. The course is at a remote location, so a medical helicopter is called in and lands in the middle of the range. Another golfer comes over, obviously upset.)

Golfer: “It’s my tee! I want to take my shot but the helicopter is blocking it.”

Me: “Sir, there’s a medical emergency on the range so you’ll have to wait for a little while.”

Golfer: “But it’s my shot! I pay good money to play here and it’s my shot!”

Me: “Sir, someone may be dying over there. Please have some patience. It shouldn’t take long until they lift off.”

Golfer: “If they get hit, it’s their own fault.”

(The man then pulls a club out and before I can stop him, he swings and hits the helicopter.)

Me: “Sir! For God’s sake, stop!”

Golfer: “It’s my tee! They can just blame themselves for being in the way. I don’t have time for this!”

(I ended up reporting him to the caddie master and range supervisors. His license was revoked and was banned from playing there ever again. Thankfully, the helicopter was not damaged and the patient was saved.)

Related:
Pinheaded, Part 2

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