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Always Right, Even With Other Customers

, , , | Right | April 3, 2008

(I’m a customer putting my groceries on the conveyor belt, and I realise I’ve forgotten one item. Half-way through loading my stuff onto the conveyor, I stop, and sprint across the store to pick up this item. As I get back, two little old ladies have put a separator immediately behind my groceries.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not quite finished. I forgot an item.”

Old Lady: “Oh, it’s okay. I’ve just put this here.” *points at the separator*

Me: “But I need more space for the rest of my groceries. Can you move your stuff back, please?”

Till Assistant: “‘Scuse me, love, he’s not finished.”

Old Lady: “I KNOW! I’VE JUST PUT THIS HERE!” *points at the separator*

Me & Till Assistant: “Huh?”

Old Lady: “Oh, never mind! We’ll go to another till! We can’t wait for HIM and HER to finish their rubbish!” *storms off*

(Seriously, WTF?)

Why Honesty Is Not Always The Best Policy

, , , | Right | March 19, 2008

(Years ago I was working the closing shift at a local convenience store. It was late when a very elderly man came in and bought a six-pack of beer, cigarettes and condoms. After ringing up the sale…)

Me: “Have a good night, sir!”

Man: “Oh, I will. The missus is out of town!”

Me: *shocked and speechless*


This story is part of the Convenience Store roundup!

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Crazy Old Lady 1, Bag Boy 0

, , , | Right | February 15, 2008

(I was a cashier at a local grocery store one summer. At 9:00 every night, it was the bagboy’s duty to clean the store… which included vacuuming the rugs in front of the automatic doors. One night, about 8-8:30, an elderly lady comes in and sits by the doors.)

Me: “Hello! How are you tonight? Do you need any assistance?”

Lady: “No, I’m fine. I’m just going to sit here.”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(She sits there until about 9:00 until a bagboy comes out with a vacuum cleaner. He proceeds to do his job.)

Lady: “AAAH! What is that? What is that horrible noise? I can’t take it! I can’t take it!” *Walks up to the bagboy* “What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it!”

Bagboy: “I’m just vacuuming the rugs…”

Lady: “Stop it! I can’t take this noise! Why are you doing this?!”

Me & the other cashiers: “…”

(She went back to sit down and didn’t leave until late. Our managers came out and forbade the bagboys from vacuuming while she was there. For a couple more times that week she came in at 8:00 and if some bagboy even brought out the vacuum cleaner, unaware of who she was, they got an earful about the horrible noise that afflicts her.)

Taking The Young At Heart Thing Too Far

, , , | Romantic | December 23, 2007

(An 80-year-old woman and her husband come up to the cutting counter with a bolt of sparkly, orange, see-through fabric.)

80-Year-Old Woman: “Three yards please.”

Me: *as I am measuring:* “What are you using this for?”

80-Year-Old Woman: “I am taking a belly dancing class, and I am going to make my own outfit.”

(I stare, and the man looks everywhere but his wife.)


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Would You Like French Resistance Fries With That?

, , , | Right | October 20, 2007

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Elderly Customer: “SIX OF THE ENEMY, PLEASE!”

Me: “…Sorry?”

Elderly Customer: “Six of the German frankfurts!”

Me: “Oh, right…”


This story is part of our Shocking Old People roundup!

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