Didn’t Exceed The Cute Limit

, , , , , | Legal | August 28, 2018

(My parents and I just dropped my brother off at college after a weekend and are on our way back home. There’s a road heading out of the college town that has a notoriously low speed limit, despite being very easy to drive; basically, it’s a trap to try to get some extra cash from tickets. We’re fully aware of this, but we’re having a conversation and my dad gets distracted, missing when we cross into this area, and speeding. Sure enough, a cop pulls us over. My mom runs a business from home where she cuts vinyl and has her logo, which includes her name, in vinyl on the back of the car. The very young, male cop saunters up to the window and says flirtatiously as he leans in:)

Cop: “So, who’s [Mom]?”

(Right after he says this, he sees my forty-something-year-old parents and takes a few steps back. I’m trying not to lose it in the back seat. My mom grins.)

Mom: “That would be me.”

Cop: “Oh, that’s… nice. So, uh, you know why I pulled you over?”

(We didn’t get a ticket, probably because he was so embarrassed. We agreed he was expecting to see a car full of cute college girls and was hoping to pick one up.)

Employee Frozen In Place

, , , , , , | Working | March 5, 2018

I am at a popular state-wide gas station chain to buy myself a drink for the road. The store is pretty busy, but there is only one cashier working. By the time I pick my drink out and get in line to pay, the line is five or six people long. The person at the front of the line has a fairly large order.

The cashier repeatedly presses the button to call for her coworker to come get on a register. My dad works in one of these gas stations, so I know that this releases a very long, loud buzzing sound in the stock area. It’s pretty hard to miss, and you can even hear it a bit in the front of the store. Still, there’s no sign of the other employee. At this point, the cashier and customers are starting to go from frustrated to concerned.

Finally, the cashier pulls out her phone and tries calling the employee, but there’s still no response. At this point, a customer ducks out of line and charges into the freezer — an employee-only area, but it’s not like anyone is going to stop him — and emerges a few seconds later, fuming and dragging the second employee by the arm. The cashier proceeds to yell at him. It turns out he was listening to music with earbuds in. Why he didn’t answer his phone, he doesn’t say.

The line splits in half, and I end up second or so in line at the new cashier’s register. He doesn’t speak to any customer and, once my drink is in its bag, proceeds to throw it at me. Too exhausted to do anything about it, I turn around and leave.

As I walk out the door, I hear the guy say, “Can I go back to the freezer, now?” My only regret is that I didn’t stick around to hear the other cashier’s response. A week later, a “Help Wanted” sign showed up on their door… I wonder why!