No Answers On The Verizon Horizon

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2019

(I work at a local hotel. The most frequently left-behind item is a phone charger, so as a result, our storage room has a large collection of chargers that will likely never see their original owners again. I get a call today.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Guest: “I left my cell phone charger in my room two days ago. I need you to send it back.”

(I know I have a pile in the back room, as housekeeping has already picked it up.)

Me: “What kind of phone do you have — iPhone or Android?”

Guest: “It’s a cell phone.”

Me: “Okay, I need a little more detail than that so I send out the right one.”

Guest: “It’s a Verizon cell phone.”

Me: “Do you have more detail than that, ma’am?”

Guest: “It’s a Samsung Verizon cell phone! It is in my room against the wall.”

Me: *giving up hope* “All right, ma’am, I will go grab it. We charge for shipping; is that all right?”

Guest: “Fine, Verizon cell phone.” *click*

(I went into the back find a charger with the word Samsung printed on it and brought it to shipping with a new story to tell.)

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404 Error: Brain Not Found

, , , , | Right | June 21, 2018

(I’m the brain-dead customer in this one. I had new Internet service set up today, but when I try using it, the speed is less than 10% of what it should be, so I call the cable company I subscribe through. After explaining the situation:)

Representative: “What are you trying to connect to?”

Me: “The Internet.”

Representative: *pause* “I know that.”

(I have no defense to offer for myself.)

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