According To The French

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I am a regular customer to this restaurant, which has paper menus. I am trying to order at the register when another customer walks up and interrupts me.)

Customer: *while holding one of the paper menus* “Do you have the menu in English?”

Employee: “That is an English menu, sir.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(The other customer walks off and I try to place my order again. However, before I can finish the same guy comes back again.)

Customer: “Are you sure this is English? What is this?”

(He points to a section on the menu that I can’t see.)

Employee: “That says, ‘a la carte.’ It’s English, sir.”

A Small Size Of Nothing

, , , , , | Working | October 6, 2017

Me: “Hi! Could I have a small [Specialty Beverage]?”

Salesperson: “I’ll have to get those cups out of the back; we don’t have any up here.”

(Time passes as nothing happens…)

Salesperson: “Do you still want a small [Specialty Beverage]?”

Marketing, Market Thyself

, , , , , | Working | June 8, 2017

(I work internal tech support. A user from our marketing department calls in to ask why his emails to an external recipient keep bouncing. I take a look at the bounce-back message, and it indicates that the sender’s address was blocked by the end user.)

Me: “This isn’t really an error message; our system sent the e-mail successfully. However, the end recipient chose to block it as spam, which is why you’re getting these bounce-backs.”

Marketing: “Can you unblock our email address?”

Me: “No, because the block is on their end. It’s not in our system so we have no control over it.”

Marketing: “Why would they flag my email as spam? It’s not spam. It’s a legitimate marketing email blast.”

Me: “Apparently it looked enough like spam that they didn’t want to receive it any more.”

Marketing: “How do I make my emails so that they don’t look like spam and people want to read them?”

Me: “You’re the marketing department. You tell me.”