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Different Accents Of Racism

, , , , , | Working | June 14, 2017

(I am a head cashier. I have been called to the checkouts to assist a young couple of Indian descent. After serving them:)

Manager: “It’s a good thing you could handle that. I couldn’t understand a word they were saying.”

Me: “They sounded Glaswegian to me.”

Manager: “How would you know? You’re from Sheffield.”

Me: “Why didn’t you? Haven’t you lived in Glasgow all your life?”

Manager: “True. I wonder why I couldn’t understand them.”

Me: “Racism?”

(She wasn’t best pleased with me.)

Give Yellow Peas A Chance

, , , , | Right | June 6, 2017

(I make pizzas to order at a large supermarket chain in the UK. We have a selection of toppings to choose from, the vegetable ones being on display at the front. An elderly male customer’s pizza is nearly finished; he is choosing his last topping.)

Customer: *pointing to the tub that clearly contains sweetcorn* “And some yellow peas.”

Me: *trying not to giggle as it put a scoop of it on the pizza* “Aaaand some sweet-corn.”

(We now like to refer to the sweet-corn as ‘yellow peas.’)


Should Quit That Line Of Questioning

, , , , | Working | June 5, 2017

Assistant Manager: “You need to quit.”

Me: “What?”

Assistant Manager: “You need to quit, like now.”

Me: “Why?”

Assistant Manager: “Because I was just speaking to [Boss], and he said the only way I’ll get a promotion is if you leave… so leave already!”

Me: “Well, you are my assistant manager. If you want to stay in this department, the only way to can get any higher is if you replace me.”

Assistant Manager: “So when are you leaving?”

(I’m about to answer when an email from Boss comes through on my computer. I can only see the notification and the first sentence, but the tone of the email isn’t too pleasant towards Assistant Manager.)

Me: “Umm, I’ll get back to you on that.”

(Whatever was said in that meeting he had with Boss, it certainly left an impression — and not the good kind.)

Deal With The Burning Issue First, Part 2

, , , , | Right | May 13, 2011

(I work at directory inquiries.)

Me: “Which name, please?”

Caller: “I’d like the number for the local fire station.”

Me: “Searching for you now.”

Caller: “Can you hurry up? My kitchen’s on fire.”

Me: “Sir, hang up right now and then dial emergency services!”

Caller: “Hold on.” *he’s away for over a minute* “Right, I’ve got a pen and paper now. What was the number?”

This story is part of our “Customers so stupid they should not be alive” roundup!

Read the next story in this roundup!

Read the “Customers so stupid they should not be alive” roundup!

It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 7

, , , , , | Right | April 12, 2011

Me: “Hello, you’re through to [Insurance Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I need a quote for home insurance.”

Me: “No problem. The quote can take up to fifteen minutes. Do you have the time?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s 11:15. Why?”

Me: “Uh… what?”

Customer: “It’s 11:15. Don’t you have a clock?”