Everyone’s Got Baggage, Not Just Orphans
I’m at a friend’s house. Her aunt is currently visiting. My friend is a lesbian, and this aunt has been giving my friend a hard time about her homosexuality. While she is not totally homophobic, she just doesn’t understand what it means. I’m a witness to the following exchange.
Aunt: “I still can’t understand why you wouldn’t even try to find a husband. I’m sure if you found the right person—”
Friend: “[Aunt], I’m lesbian; you know that. I’m not attracted to men. Like, at all.”
Aunt: “But you are a woman. It is your God-given duty to marry a man and have children!”
Friend: “At this day and age, that’s just nonsense.”
Aunt: “Don’t you want to start a family and have children?”
Friend: “At some point, I might.”
Aunt: *Triumphantly* “Well, how can you have children if you don’t have a husband? Don’t tell me you’re thinking about going to a sperm bank. That’s gross and unnatural.”
Friend: “If I decide to have children, I’ll adopt.”
Aunt: “Adopt? Why?”
Friend: “There are enough children out there who don’t have parents. I don’t need to make more. Besides, if I adopt an older child, I don’t need to bother with not being able to sleep at night and having to change diapers all the time.”
Aunt: “But adopted children often have… issues.”
My friend takes a moment to understand what she means and process the statement.
Friend: “[Aunt], I have ADD and PTSD, I was born with diabetes, and I’m allergic to half of the things on the planet! I’d say I have more issues than most orphans, and I’m home-grown.”
Her aunt didn’t say anything after that. But from what I’m told, that wasn’t the first or last time she brought that up.
To clarify, my friend’s PTSD comes from her home burning down when she was little. She never fully got over it and is still very afraid of fire.