A New Way For The Kid To Play Tag

, , , , | Right | October 31, 2017

(I’m working the register when a young couple comes up to me. They pile their stuff onto my belt and hand me a price tag of some children’s shoes along with it.)

Mother: *handing me the tag* “Uh, and this. Our son is wearing them and refuses to take them off again, so we thought we’d just give you the price tag.”

(She points to a small boy who is running around happily and playing with the boats we have out for display. He’s completely well-behaved, though, so I decide to let him have his fun.)

Me: “Oh, okay. The only problem I have with this is that the shoes have an alarm tag sewed into them. I need the shoes on my counter in order to deactivate them or you will start an alarm in every store you enter or leave.”

Mother: “Oh. Well, he absolutely doesn’t want to take them off again.”

(Suddenly, the father speaks up.)

Father: “Hey, [Son]. Come here for a second!”

(The boy comes running and the father picks him up.)

Father: “So, where do you need him?”

Me: *trying to contain my laughter* “Here, just have him stand in this spot; that should be enough.”

(Luckily, it did work, and the tags got deactivated. The father set the boy down again, who happily returned to playing as if nothing happened. It was the only time I had a kid on my register, though.)

1 Thumbs

Reading The Ticket, That’s The Ticket!

, , , | Working | October 29, 2017

(I’m at an appointment a couple towns over. When I come back to my car, I see a parking inspector standing next to my car writing a ticket.)

Me: “Hi, this is my car. Is there some sort of problem?”

Parking Inspector: “Hello, yes. This street is resident parking only.”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t notice.” *taking a look around* “Wait, would you mind showing me the sign that states this is resident parking only?”

Parking Inspector: “There is none.”

Me: “How do you mean? There is none?”

Parking Inspector: “Yes, there has been a construction site here recently. It seems they didn’t put the sign back up when they finished.”

Me: “Okay, but how am I supposed to know this is residents-only then?”

Parking Inspector: “Look, I’m not going to argue. You are parking here and I’m going to write you a ticket. You can object to the ticket once you receive the official ticket per mail.”

Me: “Okay. Could you write down that the sign is missing, please?”

Parking Inspector: “Okay.” *finishes writing, prints out the ticket, and hands it to me* “Good day, sir.”

(Fast forward a couple of weeks. By now, I have received the ticket by mail and objected to it according to the attached instructions, pointing out I couldn’t even know this is resident parking only since there was no sign and I’m from a couple towns over. One afternoon my telephone rings.)

Employee: “Hello, is this [My Name]? I’m calling about your objection to a parking ticket.”

Me: “Yes, this is [My Name].”

Employee: “I’m afraid your objection has been dismissed as being unsubstantiated. I’m calling to let you know that, if you pay this week before we send out another payment request, you’ll save yourself paying the processing fee.”

Me: *in disbelief* “How do you mean? Can you pull up the ticket on your screen and read it back to me? I just want to be 100% sure we’re talking about the same ticket.”

Employee: “Sure, wait. Just let me pull it up.” *goes silent for a few seconds* “Sir?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee: “Consider the matter resolved. I’m going to take charge of it from here on. Have a nice day.”

Me: “Thank you. You, too!”

Employee: *mumbling while hanging up* “Dear Lord in heaven. I’m working with idiots!”

1 Thumbs

Dutifully Praising Your Sense Of Duty

, , , , | Working | October 23, 2017

(I’ve recently taken a job as a secretary after the person who previously held the position was let go for less than stellar performance. My new boss seems like a demanding person, but I quickly come to realize that his expectations are low. It leads to several conversations like this one:)

Boss: “[My Name], I wanted to let you know I was very impressed with how you handled things while I was traveling.”

Me: *confused because it was very quiet while he was gone* “Uh, thank you?”

Boss: “That email you sent out, you know, when you rearranged a phone call. That was excellent!”

(A task like that would be very basic for someone new to the job. Having several years of experience, I’m completely baffled that someone would bring it up at all.)

Me: “I… You know that’s routine, right? Thank you, but it was just an email.”

Boss: “No, seriously, the way you handled that was very professional. And… Now you’re looking at me like I’m crazy because I’m praising you for something you think should go without saying.”

Me: “Sorry! I love positive feedback; who doesn’t? I’m just confused.”

Boss: “Just let me enjoy this for a bit.”

(Later, he walks by my office as I’m about to finish my last task for the day.)

Boss: “[My Name], what are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be going home?”

Me: “My shift ended two minutes ago. It’s fine; I’m just sending out that request for information before I leave.”

Boss: “But you could leave that until tomorrow morning.”

Me: “Sure, but you said we need the reply by tomorrow afternoon. If I send it out tomorrow, how much do you want to bet that there will be someone who complains because half a day isn’t enough time to send us a yes or no reply?”

(I’m looking at my screen as I say this, but my boss goes so quiet that I look up and see him staring at me.)

Me: “Everything all right?”

Boss: “I’m not going to say anything, because then you’ll get that expression again as if you’re wondering if I’ve lost my mind. Just… That’s why I hired you. Please stay.”

1 Thumbs

Unfiltered Story #98548

| Unfiltered | October 23, 2017

(I have to send a small package overseas to a friend. Unfortunately, the German postage system is somewhat difficult to understand because there are so many options and regulations of what size and what weight can be shipped with which postage, so I go to the counter to ask and become ‘that’ confused customer, sadly.)
Me: Hi! I want to ship this to the US. It’s a ‘small parcel’ according to size, but it’s far below ‘small parcel’ regulations in terms of weight, so I don’t know what the postage would be. Also, the smallest parcel option is without tracking, so would I have to… like… ‘upgrade’ to a larger parcel and pay more to get tracking?
Postal clerk: Let me check. *typing into his computer* Actually, it seems like we can just ship this as an oversized letter. You’ll pay [lower price than expected], and it comes with automatic tracking for overseas shipping.
Me: But.. it’s not a letter. It’s clearly a cardboard box. Won’t that cause trouble?
Postal clerk: No, our system just scans the code, it doesn’t care about size.
Me: But there are postage regulations concerning size?
Postal clerk: That’s just set as guidelines to ensure that shipping containers, vans and such don’t get overloaded with large packages.
Me: Ok, sorry. I’m just worried it won’t be shipped or get lost or something.
Postal clerk: Of course. But watch this. (He prints the postage and puts it on my parcel. He then starts waving his hands above it in a sort of ‘magician showing off his trick way’, ending it with “Abracadabra!”) Tadaa! It is now – an oversized letter!
(He made me laugh, saved me money, and made sure I got tracking. The package arrived perfectly on time in the US. Best post office visit ever!)

A Jarring Realization

, , , | Related | October 21, 2017

(I’m eating breakfast with my parents and my brother.)

Mom: *unsuccessfully tries opening a jar of jam* “Honey?” *hands it over to dad*

Me: “Well, I have a device for that!” *referring to something I got from her which helps opening those jars*

Mom: “I have a husband for that, and I like my method better. But don’t worry, there’s a device for the other things, too.”

1 Thumbs