Zip Past The Technological Requirements

, , , | Working | September 22, 2017

(A telemarketer is trying to sell me a new phone contract, which I do not want, over the phone. After a while:)

Telemarketer: “Plus, you get LTE coverage!”

Me: “Well, that’s no use, as my phone does not support LTE.”

Telemarketer: “Erm, as far as I can see, your zip code is LTE-capable.”

(Great to know that my zip code supports LTE. If only he could have told me how to use my zip code for surfing.)

Adding Some Extra Spice To The Meal

, , , , | Friendly | September 18, 2017

(In order to use our pepper mill, you need to pull the outer part down.)

Friend: *fiddling with the mill, not getting it to open*

Me: “You need to pull it.”

Friend: *pulls at the middle*

Mom: “Just like a foreskin.”

Unfiltered Story #94358

, | Unfiltered | September 18, 2017

(I’m living in a rural and overwhelmingly conservative area. But the times they are a-changing and we recently had our first gay wedding in town. To spare us some nerves my family decides to withhold this information from my 83 year old grandma. Apparently this didn’t work out as planned.)
Grandma: *alluding* “I’ve talked to [friend]. Did you know [neighbor] married?”
Dad: “Ummm… No. Why do you ask?”
Grandma: “Oh, don’t give me that spiel!”
Mother: “Well, yes. But you have to understand that that’s now legal and it’s perfectly okay for a man to marry another man…”
Grandma: “Oh, grow up! Who cares about that?! *furiously* He married someone from [rivaling neighbor town]! THAT’S JUST SUCH A DISGRACE!”
(Yay, progress… I guess.)

A Colorful Tale

, , , | Friendly | September 17, 2017

(I have long, colourful hair. It goes from dark purple down to lilac, and ends around my waist, so I usually keep it in a braid. While getting coffee with a friend, I notice a mum and her little daughter staring at me. After a while, I have to undo my braid because it’s starting to hurt my head from being too tight. I hear an audible gasp from the little girl, and her mum nudges her to go over to my table.)

Little Girl: *in the fastest, most nervous way I’ve ever heard a kid speak* “Hi! I really like your hair; it’s pretty like a mermaid! My mum said to tell you it’s pretty, and I wanted to ask if it is your real hair!”

Me: *laughing* “It’s my real hair, but it’s coloured in!”

Little Girl: *eyes widening* “YOU CAN DO THAT?!”

(She ran back to her mum, who came up to me to ask me about which hair dye I use, etc. I told her that it was non-permanent, and that there was even a brand that could be washed out immediately,meant for Halloween costumes and such. Now the little girl gets to be a mermaid at her school’s Halloween party.)

Driving Away The Anxiety

, , , , | Hopeless | September 16, 2017

I witnessed the death of a close family member in a car accident when I was younger. Because of this, I feel pretty insecure when driving and have an overall anxiety when being in a car. This also led to me failing my practical driving test several times, which only made my anxiety stronger.

One week before my last driving test, another close family member died in a car accident. This hit me hard, and I could barely cope with my emotions. My anxiety was so strong I could not even stand near a car without freaking out internally, let alone sit in a car or drive myself. I called my driving instructor and told him what had happened. He was really kind, and managed to reschedule my driving test for two weeks.

On the day of my driving test, I still was not able to cope with the death of my family member, and my anxiety was still pretty strong. I met with my driving instructor before the driving test, and he told me that he had spoken to the examiner. He told him about the death of my family member and my anxiety. He also agreed with him that they wanted to be silent throughout my driving test so that I could better cope with my insecurity and better concentrate. I did not recognize it while driving, but this helped a lot.

My anxiety hit me pretty strong during the driving test, and I had a feeling of internal panic most of the time. I could not look somewhere else, only on the streets and mirrors as I was supposed to do. When I panicked a lot internally, I managed to look to my driving instructor, only to see him smiling at me. I still was really insecure, but it helped me so much and I was able to drive at least a bit more relaxed. I think his smile made more of a difference than he realized.

I passed the driving test that day, but only with the help of my driving instructor who gave me a feeling of security in my situation of anxiety. I gave him a hug after the driving test, but could not find any words to thank him. We drove back to the driving school to sort out the last paperwork. He hugged me one last time and I left. I wish I had been able to thank him in a better way. He helped me a lot and he deserved some words of gratitude. I hope I can see him again in the future. I am glad that I got to know him.

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