I majored in German in college and spent my junior year living in Germany. I was extremely socially inept back then. I made friends with this guy and he came to the dorm to hang out with me. He was a really big guy who looked a lot like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

We were sitting around and he took my hand.

Friend: “Your skin is very… empfindlich.”

Me: “What does ‘empfindlich’ mean?”

Friend: “It means… easily broken.”

I freaked out and never hung out with him again. Looking back at it, I realize that he had a crush on me and he was actually trying to be romantic. He meant my skin was “delicate.”

I’m in my local grocery store, using their rewards card machine. A woman at the bakery counter nearby wants to pay with a debit card via NFC (contactless payment). The debit machine keeps making an error sound.

Customer: “Why is it not working?”

Employee: “I’m not sure. Let’s just try it again.”

The employee cancels the payment and starts again. The customer holds her card close to the machine again, and again she gets an error sound.

Customer: “What’s going on? I always pay like this and never had a problem before.”

Employee: “It’s been working fine all day. I don’t know what’s wrong. Let’s try one more time.” *Glances at the growing line at the counter*

They try again, and it still does not work. The customer is getting frustrated.

Customer: “This can’t be. There’s money on my account. I always pay like this. It must be your stupid machine. Why doesn’t it work?!”

I look over and notice something.

Me: “Because that’s not a debit card.”

The customer looks at the card in her hand, which turns out to be her healthcare ID.

Customer: “Huh? Oh. OH! Sorry.”

I greet my first customers of the day. They have an appointment because they can’t log into their online banking account, as they’ve told me on the phone.

I check their IDs, make sure their account isn’t blocked because of fraud or anything like that, and give them a new start password. They then hand me their laptop. I connect it to our WLAN and go on our homepage.

Me: “Now it’s your turn. Please type in your username and the new password I’ve given you to log in. Then you can select a new one, which you must keep secret.”

Customer: *Stares at the homepage* “How did you do this?”

Me: “Do what?”

Customer: “You’ve connected us to the online banking! We didn’t get that far.”

Me: “Wait… that was your problem with the online banking? You couldn’t load the homepage?”

They nod.

Me: “Have you tried loading other websites, like Google?”

Customer: “Yes. Those didn’t come up, either. So how have you done this?”

Me: “I think the problem is with your WLAN at home, not with your online account. You need to check why it isn’t working.”

Customer: “But what is wrong with it?”

Me: “Sorry, but I really don’t know. I just connected you to our WLAN here. You would need to call your Internet provider for help.” 

Customer: *Getting angry* “But you need to help us! Why don’t you know how to fix this?”

Me: “Because I’m a banker and not an Internet provider? I really don’t know how to help you.”

Customer: “But why don’t you know?”

They refused to listen to what I was saying and got angrier and angrier. Finally, they left in a huff, saying they would never come back because I refused to help them.

I am working as an instructor in a high ropes course. Our business is based in a beautiful forest, so you can enjoy nature, take zip lines through the trees, climb through nets and onto bridges, and so on. To reach us, you have to walk about five minutes through the forest by a footpath.

It is the first day without rain for about a week, so the ground is still muddy and wet. We always recommend outdoor clothing — clothes which could get dirty and be cleaned easily. I am standing at our hut waiting for customers when this middle-aged father with his children and his wife appear.

Me: “Good morning, sir! Would you like to go on an adventure with us?”

Customer: “I want a refund! Look at my shoes! They’re totally messed up… It’s very dirty and muddy in the woods!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s rained a lot the whole week.”

Customer: “You have to build a street or something! It’s unacceptable!”

Me: “I understand, but with all due respect, sir, this is an outdoor activity park. I am afraid we’re not allowed to build streets through the forest. We are just happy to be allowed to build this business here.”

Customer: *Screaming* “What bad service! Who do you think you are?! I want a refund! Now!”

Me: “I’m sorry. This is an adventure course with zip-lines; you will get a little bit dirty. I’m afraid we cannot give you a refund for something you didn’t book or pay.”

Customer: “Get me your manager! Now!”

I do as I’m told and the guy repeats his complaint about the mud and my “rude and bad service.” My manager listens and smiles.

Manager: “You have two options now: leave or have a wonderful day with your family here. But you won’t get a refund, discount, or anything else. It’s your choice.”

The guy’s family, who had been silent up to this point, was now in a panic. The kids wanted to go climbing in the trees and Mama did not want crying and arguing children. In the end, they just paid. My manager later gave the kids a free entry to our mini-golf, while their parents argued a lot about his behaviour.

Related:
Mother Versus Nature

I’m filling up shelves when an elderly man comes up to me.

Customer: “Excuse me, how much are the apples?”

These are at the opposite end of the store.

Me: “I don’t know, but I can get one scanned at the register if you want.”

Customer: *Condescending tone* “A good saleslady should know all prices!”

Me: *Pauses* “Do you want me to scan the price or not?”

Customer: “You’re clearly not qualified for this!”

He left while muttering to himself.