Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you today?”

The caller describes a problem that three particular coworkers are trained to handle. They don’t get in until noon, and we have been asked to simply take a message and offer a callback, as we are not permitted to discuss employee schedule information with customers. I offer the lady a callback and she leaves her number.

Twenty minutes later, the same customer calls in describing the same issue.

Me: “Madam, I have your number. Our agent will call you back as soon as they are available; we won’t brush this off.”

Caller: *Yelling* “You told me that three hours ago and I’ve called at least six or seven times, and you idiots just either put me on hold, transfer me to someone else, hang up on me, or tell me someone will call me back! This is poor customer service! I want the manager! Now!”

I’m the only agent on the floor for the first two hours due to the low call volume in the early mornings.

Me: “Madam? We only opened forty-five minutes ago.”

Caller: “Bulls***! You open at six in the morning!”

Me: “Not since two weeks ago when our hours changed. Our automated greeting states that, but in case you missed it by pushing a button for our department, opening hours are now 9:00 am until 10:00 pm, so I don’t know who it was that you were calling six or seven times and getting transferred around or put on hold or hung up on by since 6:00 am, but it wasn’t [Company]. No one was even here.”

Caller: *Click*

Not today, lady. Not today!

I work as a chef in a hotel restaurant. Our kitchen closes at 11:00, meaning that we do not take any new orders after that, even if the chefs are still there for another hour to do clean-up and prep for the next day. This includes room service unless it’s something cold that only needs to be assembled.

The two people working reception at night could not be any more different from each other. [Receptionist #1] is always friendly with everyone, chats with the kitchen staff and servers, and actually comes in earlier to say hello to all of us and check if there’s anything to be discussed. [Receptionist #2] probably doesn’t know a single one of our names and is only friendly and all smiles to guests coming in.

One day at 10:45, we get an intercom call from reception.

Receptionist #1: “I am so sorry to ask this, but we have a VIP guest who’s called to let us know he’ll be checking in late, around 11:15, and asked if he could order some room service ahead of time so he can eat when he gets to his room.”

Me: “Depends on what he wants. If it’s warm, we’d probably have to prepare it and reheat it once he comes in. Otherwise, everything’s available.”

Receptionist #1: “I’ll ask him. I told him I couldn’t guarantee anything yet until I talked to the kitchen. Thank you so much!”

He calls back at 10:55, saying that the guest is completely okay with reheating food — it’d cool down a bit until it gets to his room anyway — and would like to order two of our hot dishes. With five minutes to spare before actual closing, the other chef and I prepare the dishes and arrange them all on room service table settings so that the receptionist only has to pick them up from the microwave station, ready to go. He thanks us profusely again and the guest leaves a very positive review the next day.

Two days later, at 11:20, when we’ve finished all the cooking stations already, [Receptionist #2] calls and starts talking without so much as a hello.

Receptionist #2: “I have an order for room service, late check-in. It should be in your ticket system.”

Me: “Yeah, no, the system is shut off already; no tickets are coming through. The kitchen is closed.”

Receptionist #2: “What?! You made two dishes for [Receptionist #1] this week!”

Me: “Yep. Not only did he contact us before closing time, but he also asked us first if we could do something after closing and made sure not to order things without the kitchen giving him the go-ahead.”

Receptionist #2: “But I promised this guest he’d have his food!”

Me: “Then you get to call him back and explain that that’s not happening and offer him the cold dishes we can still make.”

[Receptionist #2] just hung up on me. Then, he called back fifteen minutes later — we were pretty much done with the entire kitchen by then — and sheepishly asked for one of the cold cuts plates with bread. Apparently, the guest he’d promised the food to worked in the gastro-business, as well, and definitely understood the kitchen’s complaints, because our restaurant manager came in two days later with a private review from him, telling us that we did nothing wrong even while [Receptionist #2] was still complaining to management about it.

Honestly, we could’ve probably found a work-around for [Receptionist #2], as well, and offered at least some of our hot dishes, but it’s all in how you ask.

There are some laws you may need to understand for this story. Employers firing someone have to give three months’ notice. Employees being fired have to give three months’ notice to the unemployment office and show up on their first day of unemployment to get full benefits. 

Calling the unemployment office is impossible; I’ve never reached any humans on the phone. I am living with my parents, despite being twenty-seven. I get fired. Since you can’t call government offices, I send them an email telling them about my situation and giving my first unemployment date.

A week later, I have a new job. Calling the unemployment office doesn’t work, so I send them another email.

On my first day on the new job, I get home to my very pissed mother.

Me: “Something wrong?”

Mother: “Do you want to tell us something?”

Me: “I wouldn’t know. What?”

Then, my baby brother chimes in.

Brother: “You could work at the school; I really need a math teacher who is nice.”

Me: “Thanks, but I have a job.”

Mother: “Then why did the unemployment office call? You told them that today is your first day unemployed.”

Me: “That information is three months outdated. I found a new job within a week and sent them another email. Why did they call you?”

It turned out that since my mother has to report unemployment every year during summer vacation, they had her phone number. We still reported a breach of data protection.

I work in a call center for a travel and touring agency.

Customer: “I booked an excursion and cancelled within the deadline! Why don’t I have my money back?!”

Me: *Checking the booking* “Sir, you cancelled this booking about twenty minutes ago. Refunds take up to seventy-two hours to be processed and credited back to your account.”

Customer: “SEVENTY-TWO HOURS?! I NEED THAT MONEY NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there isn’t anything I can do at this end other than tell you that we have confirmed your cancellation and will be refunding you within the next seventy-two hours.”

Customer: “Why does it take so long? Just give me my money back!”

Me: “Funds leaving the business need to be verified and accounted for by management and the accounting department so as to minimize fraudulent activity and so that the finances are balanced correctly—”

Customer: “I don’t care about that! Look, my bank is about to come to repo my car any minute if I don’t come up with that money today!“

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but I can’t do anything—”

Customer: “No! Stop what you are doing, put me on hold, go to the managers and the accounting department, and tell them to stop what they are doing and process my refund! Move it!“

Me: *Stifling laughter* “Sir, that’s not how that works.”

Customer: “Transfer me to your manager!”

Me: “I’m not going to waste his time having him tell you the exact same thing I’ve just told you now.”

Customer: “Do you not understand this is a high-priority case?!“

Me: “Sir? For the past hour, I have been tied up making calls back and forth with one of our tour operators and a bus line vendor because one of our customers left a purse containing her child’s heart medication, insulin, and allergy pen shots on one of the buses. We are trying to track down which bus it was on and get it back to her before something terrible happens. That is a high priority. Your €300 refund is not a high priority; it’s an inconvenience.”

Customer: “…” *Click”

My library has to check every patron’s vaccination status or negative test upon them entering the library. We put a table and chair up at the entrance, but we can’t access the library system from there other than the website and catalog.

There’s a self-checkout machine right next to this makeshift desk and the circulation desk is just a few feet further into the room; you can see it from the entrance.

A lady’s checking out books at the machine and, after getting her receipt, tuts and turns to me.

Patron: “There’s something off about my account. Can you look it up in your computer?”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not possible with the computer I have, but my coworker at the circulation desk will be happy to help you.”

Patron: *Rolls her eyes* “There’s nobody at the circulation desk.”

I look over at my coworker, who overheard us and is looking at me, nonplussed.

Me: *Pointing* “Uh, yes, my coworker is right there.”

Patron: “No, she isn’t. I just looked.”

Coworker: “I’m right here. How can I help you?”

Patron: “Well, she’s hiding.”

I am at a loss for words. I can see my coworker very clearly from where I’m sitting and the view’s even more straight from where the patron’s standing.

Patron: “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Do you have any hand sanitizer?”

Me: “We do; there’s a bottle at the circulation desk.”

The patron rolled her eyes and left without another word.