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His Negligence Is Bananas

, , , , , | Working | August 12, 2021

I’m allergic to banana, which is a common thickener in a lot of cold, blended drinks. I happen to frequent an ice cream shop that also makes smoothies. I love one smoothie in particular, but I hate ordering it. 

Employee: “Good afternoon! What can I get for you?”

Me: “Can I get a large Sunrise Smoothie, please? Also, I’m allergic to bananas, so I need the blender cup washed before you make it.”

The employee nods and picks up a blender cup from the storage sink with running water where they store the cups between customers to rinse them out. I think he’s about to go wash it in the larger sink with soap, but he just dries it off with a clean towel and heads toward the blending station.

Me: “Excuse me, I really need that washed with soap, not just rinsed off. You use fresh banana in all your smoothies except the Sunrise, and I can not have banana.”

Employee: “It’s all good. This one’s been sitting in the rinser for like, half an hour. “

Me: “It’s really not okay. I don’t want to go to the emergency room today. Either wash the blender or cancel my order.”

He just stood there looking like I was an idiot, so I left. I never went back to that location, and I haven’t had a smoothie since. What is it with people and thinking they know your body better than you?

There’s Only One Person Not Understanding Here And It’s Not The Deaf One

, , , , , | Right | August 5, 2021

I get a new job at this grocery store. I am hearing impaired and wear hearing aids. Nonetheless, the hiring manager is kind and patient with me and my hearing loss, and he makes it his duty to introduce me to one of my supervisors. I have an app that transcribes on my phone to help communicate with customers.

Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me? I’m—” *Unintelligible rapid talking*

Me: “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

The customer continues to talk rapidly. I have a bright yellow tag on my apron — a stark contrast to my blue apron — that reads in big, bold, letters, “Hearing Impaired.” Most people by now would’ve read this and it would’ve given me the chance to offer another way to hear them. This lady does not, and instead continues her long, almost rant-like request. When she’s done, I smile, and say:

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I’m hard of hearing. I do have a transcribe app on my phone.” *Pulling it out* “Sorry, one second. All right! What were you saying?”

I hold the phone out to her. The customer grabs the phone, looks at it, and then starts speaking into it. Before she realizes it’s transcribing her words, she starts swinging her arm around, the one holding my phone.

My smile fades slightly as I’m worried she will drop it and annoyed she isn’t speaking into it, but I do not take my phone back nor interrupt her. When she finally stops, I smile at her and wait. She stares at me. I realize she just… took my phone and had no intention of giving it back without prompting.

Me: “Ma’am, can I get my phone back?”

I take the phone back quickly.

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot hear you, but if you give me a second, I’ll find a supervisor to help you.”

I ran off to find a supervisor and he handled her when he heard what happened. I still have no idea what the heck that lady thought I was holding out my phone for, especially since I clearly stated it was a transcribe app!

They Want To Do Everything Except Understand The Problem

, , , , , | Right | July 30, 2021

I’m currently running merchandise to the floor after my stock team has processed it off the truck. We process items in a certain order: clothes and smaller home decor items, then large home items (ottomans, furniture, art, etc.) and pillows, comforters last. I’m stocking the bathroom aisle when a customer comes up to me.

Customer: “Do you have any bed pillows or decorative pillows coming out?”

Me: “They will be out later this morning since we process those items last.”

Customer: “I need y’all to process them faster so I can buy some.”

Me: “They are going as fast as they can. It’s only 9:00 am and our truck arrived at 8:15.”

Customer: “Well, it seems they have some lazy workers. I would be able to get that stuff out faster.”

Me: “All right, I’ll go get you a job application from the office and you can apply; we would appreciate the help.”

Customer: “What? No, I wasn’t offering to work here. I’m just asking for y’all to get the stuff out faster because I am an early shopper.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, like I said, we have to process everything before we can put it out, which may take some time. So, usually around 12:00 pm to 2:00 pm, everything should be out.”


Me: “Oh, well, in that case, we have most things from yesterday’s shipment out unless they have been bought. But like I said, we have to process everything before it can come out.”

The customer starts looking angry as I bid her “good day” and walk back to my stockroom.

Customer: “MANAGER, NOW!”

Pushing my cart through the stockroom door loudly to act like I didn’t hear her, I turn and say:

Me: “Have a great day!”

I stayed in the stockroom until she was gone.

Meet Uncle Yikes

, , , , , | Related | July 28, 2021

My uncle has “views” on the topic of tattoos and piercings. Specifically, he believes that they are ugly, gaudy, unnecessary, and that anyone who gets them is a vain idiot. He is very vocal in expressing these views, much to the annoyance of the rest of our family.

I have accepted an offer to attend college at a fairly well-known liberal arts college, which convinces my uncle that I’m going to get “inked up” and come home a hoodlum, etc. He tries to convince my parents that they should bar me from going, but they are both very supportive of me and so ignore his “advice.”

After my first semester, I come home for Thanksgiving and our extended family is all there, including [Uncle]. That leads to this moment in the middle of our living room.

Uncle: “All right, [My Name]. Let’s go check you out.”

Me: “What?”

Uncle: *Standing up* “Come on. I’m going to make sure you’ve been keeping your skin clean.”

Mom: *Walking in* “Excuse you?!”

My uncle starts to launch into his typical rant about tattoos and how “no niece of his” is going to mess herself up with them. My mom turns around, lifts up the back of her shirt, pulls down the hem of her jeans, and reveals a small butterfly tattoo on her lower back, which I (and most of the family, apparently) had no idea was there.

Mom: “You can kiss my a** if you think you are going to go anywhere with my daughter to ‘check her’ for tattoos.”

[Uncle] exploded, ranting and shouting. He ended up hauled out of the house bodily and thrown onto the lawn, giving my dad and younger brother some bruises in the process. After some of the things he said then and in the next couple of weeks, most of our family has cut ties with him, with only our grandma (his mother) still keeping in actual contact with him.

They’d Like To Complain To The Fire

, , , , | Right | July 16, 2021

Guest: “Why are there so many d*** doors everywhere? I can never tell if I’m going through the right one!”

Employee: “Ah, I’m sorry, that’s to comply with fire code so guests can exit quickly. The main doors are right over there.”

Guest: “Jesus. Can’t you afford a better fire code?”

Employee: “Can’t we… what?!”