Hold That Thought

, , , , , | Working | January 14, 2019

(I’m a cashier at a store. We’re encouraged to ask customers if they want a bag when buying only one or two items. A male customer is purchasing a single snack for himself.)

Me: “Would you like your nuts in a sack, or would you prefer to hold them?”

Customer: “…”

Unfiltered Story #136409

, , , | Unfiltered | January 14, 2019

(I was giving an introduction to one of our rooms to a full group when one customer asks this gem of a question.) 

Customer: “Are there glory-holes in the room?”

(Luckily, the room was pitch dark and nobody could see my reaction!)

She Whips Her Cream Back And Forth…

, , , , | Right | January 10, 2019

(I work in a coffee shop. Two ladies are taking their sweet time ordering, talking as if the barista is invisible, and getting frustrated as he attempts to figure out what they want. They order frozen drinks. One very specifically asks for almond milk; the other does not but asks for extra whip. I make the drinks and call them… and call them… One of the ladies finally gets up, now on her phone. I try to tell her to enjoy her beverage, but she aggressively ignores me. Two seconds pass and the almond lady comes back up to my station.)

Customer: “EXCUSE me?!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “You gave my friend whipped cream but not me!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Why didn’t I get whipped cream?!”

Me: “Because your drink is made with a dairy alternative, it doesn’t get it automatically.”

Customer: “But I want it!”

Me: “Okay, I can give it to you, but there is no dairy-free whipped cream.”

Customer: “What?! Why not?”

Me: “We—“

Customer: *cutting me off* “Whatever. I still want it.”

(I give her a small amount.)

Customer: “NO, more!”

(A regular amount.)

Customer: “MORE!”

(I fill the cup.)

Customer: “THANKS!”

(The following evening, the almond lady returns!)

Customer: “Yeah… I got this drink yesterday.”

(I cut her off.)

Me: “Yes, I made it.”

(Her face freezes. She knows she’s been caught, and deciding whether to abort. Nope, she proceeds.)

Customer: “Well, it made me sick!

Me: “Because of the whipped cream that I told you wasn’t dairy free?”

Customer: “Yes… but it made me sick?”

(Silence.)

Customer: “Can I get a free drink?”

(I scream mentally.)

Customer: “IT MADE ME SICK!”

Take Note: A Copy Of Something Will Copy It

, , , , | Right | January 9, 2019

(I work at a business that offers free notary service. A woman comes into my office to have some forms notarized. She has partially filled out one of the forms incorrectly, with the wrong person’s name, which means I cannot notarize that document.)

Customer: “I have this form I need notarized, but I filled it out incorrectly. Can I just cross through it and refill it, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no, not for a document that needs notarizing.”

Customer: “Okay, just make a copy, then, and I’ll fill it out correctly.”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot notarize a copy of it either.”

Customer: “WHY NOT? MAKE ME A COPY SO I CAN FILL IT OUT CORRECTLY AND NOTARIZE IT!”

Me: “A copy will still have the incorrect information on it; I’d be making an exact copy of what you’re holding.”

Customer: “NO! Make me a copy and I can refill it out.”

Me: “That’s not possible.”

(She left after threatening to move her accounts elsewhere. I don’t think she ever understood what a “copy” meant.)

Making You Wish They Had Never Been Horn

, , , , , | Right | January 4, 2019

(Every now and then, someone will throw a birthday party at our theater, especially when we have an animated or superhero movie playing. It’s not uncommon for us, and we’re usually willing to accommodate and reserve a corner in the lobby so the kids can sit around and have cake and whatnot, provided the people throwing the party let us know in advance. This time as a birthday party is going on, I notice the parents are passing out something to the kids.)

Me: *muttering* “Oh, s***!”

Coworker: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “They’re passing out party horns to a bunch of six-year-olds!”

(Next thing we knew, we had kids running all over the lobby and blasting their horns. They got so loud, they ended up disrupting several movies and we had to refund customers’ tickets. The next day, the parents called the manager and apologized for what had happened. We never saw them again.)

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