We’re interviewing a job candidate by phone. As part of the interview process, the candidates log in to a mockup of our database system to demonstrate their technical skills. The current candidate has been doing well but is struggling with a particular task. When she gets an error, we see her circling a part of the error message with her cursor on the shared screen.

Interviewer #1: “Hey, we see you indicating part of the error message. Can you tell us what you make of that?”

Interviewer #2: *On mute* “It would be nice if she could because I don’t have a clue what that means…”

Candidate: “I’ve seen that before in [our kind of system]. Pretty sure someone didn’t set it up correctly, so it’s kind of a security vulnerability.”

Me: “I know we’re not interviewing you for a security role, but can you tell us a little more about what you see here?”

Candidate: *Typing* “Sure. If I were an unscrupulous user, I’d see this error, and… actually, I don’t want to break anything.”

Interviewer #1: “You’re in a test environment. If you break it, we’ll just reset. I’m curious now. Do your worst!”

Candidate: “Okay!”

We wait a few minutes while she types a very long command on the screen.

Interview #1: *On mute* “Who the heck flagged her as ‘less experienced’? I’ve never seen half these words in my life.”

Interviewer #2: “She only has three years of experience with [System]. The rest of the candidates had at least six.”

Candidate: “Aaaaaand… there we go. Okay, I think this is gonna work. Let’s see what happens when I do th—”

As all three of us lean forward to watch what’s about to happen, the computer running the test environment — and the phone call — shuts off. We jump back in surprise.

Interviewer #1: “She was in a virtual machine! How’d she do that?”

I start frantically hitting the ON button on the PC tower.

Me: “The machine won’t even start!”

Interviewer #2: “[Interviewer #1], why’d you have to use the phrase ‘do your worst’ here?”

I get the candidate on the phone, and she says something must have gone wrong and overwhelmed the test environment. When she hears the computer won’t even start, I can hear her start to panic.

Me: “Don’t worry; it’s an old desktop that we needed to replace anyway. If there’s an exploit that can actually break a computer, we needed to know.”

Candidate: “This is a longshot, but… when you were leaning in to look at the code, no one hit anything on the computer, did you?”

I look down. [Interviewer #1]’s elbow is firmly planted on the on/off switch of the powerstrip that the computer is plugged into. We all have a good laugh and everyone calms down, and we restart the computer and resume the call.

Interviewer #2: “By the way, we see you only have three years of experience with [System]. How’d you recognize an obscure error like that?”

Candidate: “Oh, those were three years at [Company that makes the system].”

This story is part of our Best Of August 2020 roundup!

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I’m waiting in line behind a couple when a woman with a seeing-eye dog and a white cane walks by. The dog is wearing a vest that says “SEEING-EYE DOG” in large letters.

Man In Line: “Lots of security around here, huh.”

Woman In Line: “Is it really a good idea to let the disabled handle the bomb-sniffing dogs, though?”

Blind Woman: “He’s a seeing-eye dog! I’m blind! I’m not deaf, but after hearing that conversation, I wish I was.”

This story is part of our Best Of August 2020 roundup!

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Three of my boss’s bosses are here to look around, so when a customer walks back in after picking up a to-go order looking rather annoyed, we’re all paying attention to see who did something wrong.

Customer: “Okay, I’m really frustrated now. This is the second or third time this has happened. My order is completely wrong.”

Boss: *Opening her box* “Let’s see what the problem is, ma’am. What did you order?”

Customer: “A turkey stack.”

This is a grilled turkey sandwich. The boss looks at her order.

Boss: “Ma’am, that is a turkey stack.”

Customer: “Oh… you know what? I’ve been thinking I’m ordering one of the tortilla wraps. Okay, now I’ll know to order differently next time.”

The customer left since she actually got exactly what she ordered, but I don’t think she even apologized. But at least no one got yelled at since we did our jobs.

We are a popular discounted retail store that offers a large variety of items including women’s clothes, men’s clothes, home decor, baby items, and children’s clothing and items. This particular day, after we have received our first shipment of garden decor due to the spring season, a customer comes up with two identical items.

Me: “Hi, how are you doing today?” 

Customer: “I’m great, but these two garden items didn’t have a tag on them so I wanted to know how much they are.” 

Me: “Oh, no problem. Just wait for a moment and I will get a price for you!” 

I walk back to the garden display and find a similar-looking object with the same height and frame as the one the customer has brought up. It has a tag on it saying $13.99. I walk back to my cash register to inform the customer of the price.

Me: “Those are $13.99 each, which is a good deal because they are about $25 in other stores!” 

Customer: “Uh… they are rusted and discolored from sitting in your warehouse for so long… so I need a discount.” 

I garden a lot and know for a fact that many things in garden centers and other outdoor decor have been purposely rusted because that is the new style.

Me: “I apologize, but a lot of garden decor has been manufactured as rusted because it is a popular trend among gardens. Those were made to look like that.” 

The customer throws the two heavy metal garden items across my counter and begins yelling.

Customer: “WHY WOULD I PAY FOR RUSTED S*** THAT’S ALREADY BEEN USED?! THIS IS A DISGRACE TO RETAIL FOR Y’ALL AND I WILL NEVER COME BACK!”

On my campus, we have a few places to eat. One of these places is a burrito place. It’s pretty good, but I’ve started becoming uncomfortable going because of a few incidents. 

The first incident: I walk up to the guy who’s making my burrito. 

Employee #1: “What would you like today?”

Me: “A burrito, please.”

Employee #1: “Do you want rice and beans on that?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

Employee #1: “Protein?”

Me: “Oh, uh, no protein, please.”

Employee #1: *In a snotty tone* “You know, you don’t have to say please so much.”

I am very self-conscious, so I promptly shut up and barely say anything else for the rest of the order except what I want. 

The second incident: I walk up to a different employee at a different time of day. 

Employee #2: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Me: “A burrito, please.”

Everything goes perfectly fine while I order; the employee puts my order behind the glass divider within her reach but not within mine. I go to pay for my food with a different employee… and neither of them gives me my food.

Me: “Um… excuse me? Excuse me?”

For a solid minute, I try to get both of their attention so I can get my food, which has been paid for, while they socialize with a different customer. I finally get one’s attention.

Me: “Hi, sorry. Could I, um, actually have my food, please?”

I give a nervous laugh to show I’m joking.

The employee gives me a snotty look and slaps the box into my hand. Nothing spills, but the look she gives me makes me feel completely embarrassed for asking for food that I’ve actually purchased. 

The third incident: my roommate goes to go get a burrito. The — third and different — employee puts rice and beans, no meat, cheese, and lettuce, and begins to close the burrito. Only BEGINNING to close it; that is, she’s folded the wrap over the tiniest amount.

Roommate: “Oh, sorry, could I get sour cream and cilantro on that, please?”

The employee huffed loudly, slapped the burrito back open, flung cilantro on it, squirted too much sour cream on, and wrapped it up as aggressively as she could. I get that you’re tired and want to end the semester, too, but still…