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How Dare There Be Other Customers?!

, , , , , , , | Right | December 29, 2021

I am staying at a hotel in Atlanta. There is a café in the lobby, and I go down to get my morning coffee. The door looks like it should be a “pull” door, but someone has to help me get in because it’s actually a “push”. While I’m waiting for my coffee, I see a couple having the same problem with the door, so I let them in.

The man says something but I think he’s talking to the barista behind me, and I’m listening to Fergie at an obscene volume.

Woman: “Helloooo?”

Man: “Are you doing service inside or out?”

Me: *Removing my headphones* “Huh?”

Woman: *Huffy* “Do we order here or will they come to take our order at our table?”

Me: “Um, you order at the counter.”

They look deeply offended by my work ethic, which is weird, considering my mullet is still wet and I have a**-out shorts, a shirt that says, “YEEHAW,” across the front, and a rainbow fanny pack with a Pokémon plush attached. I clearly don’t work there.

Barista: “Iced mocha and lemon poppyseed muffin?”

Woman: “That’s not ours.”

Barista: “I know. I’m trying to get it to the person behind you.”

Me: *Trying to get to the counter* “Excuse me.”

Man: “It’s not mine.”

Me: “Excuse me.”

The couple gives me a death glare.

Me: “Um…” *Tries to scoot past again, unsuccessfully* “Can you hand me my stuff?”

No luck.

Me: “Well, okay…”

I reached between them, invading all of our personal spaces; they huffed and puffed about it.

They gave me another sour look when they walked past my table outside. I don’t know if they genuinely thought I was a lazy employee, they thought the world revolved around them, or they just had a problem with my appearance, or a mix of all three.

Cut Our Lawn And We Cut You Out

, , , , , | Working | December 22, 2021

My husband and I recently bought our first house. When the weather starts to warm up, we realize that we need to figure out how to fix our lawnmower so we can take care of the yard. However, the neighborhood we moved to has a lot of hardworking, self-motivating contractors, and once our grass starts getting long, we start receiving offers to mow our lawn. Seeing as it would cost around $50 to fix our push mower and a couple of hours of mowing ourselves, or we could pay $50 to one of these guys that has a riding mower ready on his truck and can knock it out in an hour, we happily accept the offers when needed.

My husband ends up finding one of the contractors to be very skilled, and they eventually strike a friendship. They agree for him to come back every third or fourth Saturday to take care of our yard. 

On a Thursday, I’ve taken the day off of work for a doctor’s appointment that my husband is driving me to and from. As my husband is finishing getting ready, I’m standing in our kitchen, loading the dishwasher before we leave. 

I hear a knock at the front door, so I look up, and to my surprise, I see a face peeking in over the very small window at the very top of the seven-foot door. We make eye contact, and to be honest, I get really freaked out that there is a tall stranger watching me in my own home, so I call for my husband. He immediately comes down the hallway and sees me frozen, still staring this stranger down. When the face sees my husband, he drops below the edge of the window, and my husband goes out to the porch to talk to him.

It turns out that this stranger wants to cut our grass.

Husband: “Thank you, but we already have someone scheduled to come out during the weekend.”

The stranger insists, for a slightly lower price than we pay our regular contractor.

Husband: *Politely* “Again, no, thank you. We’re just headed out the door for a doctor’s appointment. Perhaps you could come back in a few hours when we get home and have had a chance to get cash?”

The stranger almost seems desperate, and my husband knows what it’s like to struggle financially, so they eventually work out a deal: the stranger will mow our yard, front and back, and my husband will send him the payment through CashApp when finished. My husband asks the stranger for his username, they switch and verify phone numbers, and all is set! He’s just getting started as we load into the car.

About an hour and a half later, as we are sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office, the stranger sends my husband a couple of pictures of the completed yard. Along with the pictures is a plea:

Stranger: “Please, can you pay me $60, instead? The backyard was so long and so much work!”

Knowing that it has only been about three weeks since it was last cut and how pushy he was, my husband politely declines and sends the stranger the originally agreed-upon amount. A few minutes later, his phone starts ringing. My husband silences the phone and sends a text.

Husband: “I am sitting in a doctor’s office at the moment and cannot take a call, but I can text. Please send me a message, instead.”

The stranger spends the next five minutes calling my husband over and over. He finally sends an angry text demanding payment. My husband sends him a screenshot of the confirmation from CashApp, and the stranger. Goes. Off.

He insists that that isn’t the right account and provides a different username and phone number to pay him. Frustrated, my husband cancels the first payment and sends the money using the new info. Right after, he sends another screenshot of the new confirmation and a message.

Husband: “I wanted to help a brother out and help you make some money, but you have been very pushy from the beginning. I tried to ask you to come back during a better time, but you would not take no for an answer. This has not been a pleasant experience, not to mention that your repeated calls have put me in an embarrassing position at my doctor’s appointment. I have sent your money to the account you provided, but please, do not return to my house. We do not want to do business with you again.”

The stranger responds:

Stranger: “aight bet”

We arrived home a bit later to find a very subpar job with many large patches, especially around our fence, completely untouched. The next day, I arrived home from work to find a couple of eggs splattered on the garage door.

We decided to stick with our regular contractor after that. Our regular contractor came by about a week later and fixed the yard. Along with our normal cash payment, he also received some fresh, homemade cupcakes.

She Has Beef With The Veggie Pizza

, , , , , | Right | November 30, 2021

I’m in line for the pizza place at the food court.

Lady In Front Of Me: “What kind of pizza is that?”

Employee: “That’s the veggie.”

Lady In Front Of Me: “Is there any beef in that?”

I facepalmed so hard I left a mark on my forehead.

That’s… How Sales Work

, , , , | Right | November 26, 2021

This happens right after Black Friday.

Customer: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: *Points to a tag* “The tag on these pants says they’re $54.99.”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “But the sign says they’re $24.”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Why are the prices different?”

Me: “Because they’re on sale, sir.”

Hard Of Hearing Meets Hard Of Understanding

, , , , , , , | Right | November 23, 2021

I’m hard of hearing, so when I was hired, I was given a separate name tag that is pinned on the left side of my chest. Sometimes my hair covers it, but I’m mindful to make sure it doesn’t. The name tag in question is bright yellow (against a somewhat dark-blue apron) saying, “I’m Hearing Impaired,” in big, bold letters. Along with this, I also have a transcribe app on my phone that I used to keep out to talk to customers, but now I keep it away from customers and in front of my coworker who can relay requests to me.

I am a courtesy clerk, so unfortunately, I do have to interact with customers. I love doing so! It’s just, well, difficult. On top of that, masks are currently mandatory.

I have had too many customers whose interactions end up like this.

Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me find [unintelligible].”

Me: “I’m sorry, what did you ask?”

Customer: *Intelligible request and vague hand movements*

Me: “Sorry, give me one minute. I am hard of hearing…”

At this point, I move aside my hair to show the name tag if I have to.

Me: “I have a transcribe app that will help me understand what you are asking.”

However, when I get the app opened, the customer will stare at it and then roll their eyes, or scoff, and march off. I’m left standing there confused, wondering why they keep walking off. Do they think my app is recording them? I can only imagine!