Jesus Died For All Sins Except Canada’s

, , , , , | Working | April 1, 2018

Coworker: “When’s Good Friday in Canada?”

Me: “April 14.”

Coworker: “No, but in Canada.”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “They have a different Thanksgiving than us, so they probably have a different Good Friday.”

Me: “Are you high?”

Coworker: “Why, is it obvious?”

Unfiltered Story #108150

, , | Unfiltered | March 30, 2018

I have just gotten my first job. It’s at a sandwich shop located inside a convenience store. Most people only work one or the other but because I can only work during the summer, I need the extra hours so I ask to work both.

Our “register” at the sandwich shop is really just a computer that prints out a ticket of what the customer orders. The customer then has to pay up front at the convenience store.

I have just finished printing out the order ticket for a woman who easily has a hundred dollars worth of food and I don’t have a line, so my boss has me come up front to get some register training.

I am not the only high schooler there but I’m the youngest and most recent hire. My boss notices a couple people purposely get in my line and try to pull the “I paid in the back” trick before they realize it’s me. He is getting madder and madder at customers obviously just trying to take advantage of the youngest/newest employee when the woman with several sandwiches walks up to my register.

She places several items on the counter but refuses to hand me an order ticket. She vehemently argues that she doesn’t *have* a sandwich ticket and even leans on the counter so she can get in my face and scream at me when she starts cursing.

My boss steps up, physically moves me back from her, and gets in HER face.

I have no idea what he whispered to her but she immediately turned around and searched the entire store until she found the order ticket she had crumpled up and thrown on the floor.

It Be-Hooves You To Listen

, , , | Right | March 28, 2018

(I work in a pet store. I have just clocked in and am a little out of it, when I spot a woman in the rawhide section looking confused.)

Me: “Hello, did you need help finding anything?”

Customer: “Yes, did you stop carrying cow hooves? I can’t find any.”

Me: *reaching into a bin next to us* “You mean these?”

Customer: “No, those are beef hooves. I’m looking for cow hooves, but all I can find are beef hooves!”

Me: *struggling to keep it together* “I assure you, these are cow hooves. They’re the same thing.”

Customer: “Well, all right.”

(She bought one, but I still don’t think she was convinced.)

Trying To Think Outside The Box(er)

, , , , | Right | March 26, 2018

(I am a manager at a store in a small town. I’m running a register because one of my cashiers is on break and we’ve suddenly hit a rush. My customers are a husband and wife.)

Me: “The total is [amount].”

Wife: *hands me the bills and turns to her husband* “Do you have the change? I left my purse in the car.”

Husband: “I don’t have any change.”

Wife: “I need the change. I don’t have anything on me but big bills.”

Husband: “I don’t have any change. I don’t have any pockets. I’m in my boxers.”

(The comment startled me and I found myself glancing at what I had previously thought were the man’s shorts. Sure enough, they were, in fact, only boxers. I offered to cover the change, just to get them out of there before any “incident” occurred.)

Quentin Tarantino’s Muppet Fiction

, , , , , , | Right | March 21, 2018

(After working in a theater for so long, I’ve grown accustomed to parents dragging their kids along to movies that would be considered inappropriate, but unless it’s rated NC-17 or has no rating at all, the most we can do is warn them. Every now and then, I’m thrown for a loop.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I was wondering if you could tell me why The Muppets has a PG rating.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I saw the movie myself, and the only reason I can think of is that there’s some mildly crude humor.”

Customer: “I have some of my friend’s kids with me. Are you sure it’s okay for them to watch?”

Me: *surprised* “Um… Yes?”

Page 2/1512345...Last
« Previous
Next »