No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 5

, , , , | Right | April 13, 2011

(My store has a trivia question posted every day for customers to answer. The question reads, “How many time-zones span across Russia?”)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Is the answer to the question ‘one’?

Me: “No, sorry.”

Customer: “Well, how many are there, then?”

Me: “There are eleven time zones.”

Customer: “Really? I thought there was only one time-zone in the world!”

Related:
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
No Fortitude For Longitude


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Yukon See It On A Map, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2011

(A customer is trying to use a vending machine. It doesn’t work, so she comes up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, my bills won’t work. Can I exchange you for a five?”

(I don’t carry any cash on the shop floor.)

Me: “Sorry. All I have is this.”

(I pull out a Canadian five-dollar bill.)

Customer: “What the heck is that?”

Me: “It’s a Canadian bill.”

(The customer continues to look confused.)

Customer: “What’s Canadian?”

Me: “It’s the country right above you. Canada?”

(The customer looks up to the ceiling, perplexed.)


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You Say Communist, I Say Consumerist

, , , , | Right | March 17, 2011

Customer: “Do you have any clothes that aren’t made in China?”

Me: “Well, we can–”

Customer: *whispers conspiratorially* “Don’t you know that they’re all communists there?”

(She grabs a shirt off of the rack, and looks at the tag.)

Customer: “Ah. Made in Vietnam. Much better.”

(She walks off triumphantly.)


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Has Faith But Lost All Pope

, , , , , | Right | March 11, 2011

Customer: “I’m looking for the Holy Bible.”

Me: “Any particular denomination you’re looking for?”

Customer: “The one written by Jesus.”

Me: “Technically, the bible wasn’t written by Jesus.”

Customer: “No, he wrote one. Everybody knows that.”

(I decide not to argue and take her to see our bibles. She comes back down later, looking upset.)

Customer: “None of those say they were written by Jesus. Where are the ones written by Jesus?”

(I answer in the only way I can think of as helpful.)

Me: “Maybe you should ask the Vatican City?”

Customer: “Is that far?”


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A State Of Mindlessness, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | February 22, 2011

Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve noticed that all these pieces of wood have a sticker on them that says they contain a product that is believed to cause cancer in the state of California.”

Me: “Yes, that is just a sticker the company has left on there because we also sell in California.”

Customer: “So, since I live here in Washington I won’t get cancer, right?”

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