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Current Events Were Missed

, , , , , , | Right | January 22, 2026

I’m guiding a rafting group on a river. We’re finishing up, and I’m guiding everyone to the jetty we use at the end of the tour. One of the tourists looks confused.

Tourist: “This isn’t where we started? How’d we get here?”

When Your Coworker Is In-Continent

, , , , , | Working | January 21, 2026

Our breakroom has a TV that is currently playing the news, which is probably not the best idea, but it does produce a few interesting insights about my coworkers:

Coworker: “Man, all this foreign policy bull-s***. There should just be one policy: America first and f*** the rest.”

Me: “I mean… I kinda think it is at the moment.”

Coworker: “We got to look after our own!”

Me: “I agree, but y’know it’s a big world and—”

Coworker: “And I’m tired of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world! Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world!”

Me: “Y’know what? I think I left my sandwich in my car…”

No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 29

, , , , | Working | January 12, 2026

I worked for a large multi-national tech firm a few years ago as a Technical Project Manager and was assigned to an account for a company that was headquartered in the US but had a local subsidiary in London that I would visit once a month to work on-site and assist with their solution with us.

This involved working with their account team, who were based in California. For anyone not aware, that means there’s an eight-hour time difference between my office location (London) and theirs (San Francisco).

I met the team for the first time when they were visiting the UK to discuss a new project. They all seem like nice, friendly people – once you get past that overly American-ness that shocks some Brits when we meet Americans for the first time. Very chatty, very bombastic, a big contrast to the more reserved attitude of most Brits.

Obviously, the time zone difference means that the times when we can both communicate while we’re all in the office are very limited. They start work basically when I’m finishing for the day, but I presume that they’re expecting this, and any emails that come in after I clock out and go home are left till 9 AM (my time) the next day to reply to.

One night, at around 8 or 9 PM my time, my phone rings, I check the caller ID and see that it’s the US account manager for this company’s account. Because I value work-life balance, I ignore the call and get ready to write and email to ask what he wanted as soon as I get in the office in the morning. 

The next morning:

Manager: “[My Name], can I speak to you in my office?”

I’m a nervous person, so I’m already panicking because I can’t think of what I (in my mind) did wrong to cause this.

Me: “Uh, sure?”

Manager: *When we’re in his office.* “I had an email from [Account Manager] this morning saying that you’ve been ignoring messages from them. Is that true?”

Me: “I don’t think so? Unless an email’s gotten lost in my backlog, in which case I’ll go looking, does he say what or when he messaged me?”

Manager: “It says here he called you yesterday and you didn’t pick up the phone?”

Me: “…you mean when he called me at 9 PM, and I didn’t answer because I’m not contracted to work at that time and not being paid overtime?”

Manager: “…ah… okay, leave this with me.”

A couple of days later, my manager calls me for another meeting.

Manager: “So I had a response from [Account Manager].”

Me: “Oh? What did he say?”

Manager: *Turns his laptop around to show me the email.*

Email: “I understand that there’s a time difference between California and London, but if I’m working and call someone, I expect them to answer. We can’t just have people refuse to answer communications because it doesn’t suit them at any given time.”

Me: *Flabbergasted.* “So, he wants me to answer my phone… whenever he calls? He does realise that if he calls at 4 or 5 PM his time that’s…”

Manager: “Yes, don’t worry, you’re not going to get in trouble, and I’m going to give him a piece of my mind about respecting my team’s time.

Me: “Good luck with that…”

I never had any further contact with that Account Manager, and all communications came from other members of the team after that.

Related:
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 28

No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 27
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 26
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 25
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 24

Never Before Has Someone Needed A Compass So Badly

, , , , , | Right | January 8, 2026

Customer: “I want to buy [range of toy dolls], but I can’t find it in your toy department.”

Me: “We don’t sell that range, madam. Our department store doesn’t have an agreement with the company that makes them.”

Customer: “That’s a load of nonsense. I’ve bought them from here before.”

Me: “I can assure you, you didn’t, madam.”

Customer: “Are you saying I’m wrong?”

Me: “I’m saying I’m the manager who is fully in charge of our entire toy department inventory, and have been for several years, and I know we don’t carry them.”

The customer says I am mistaken, throws her hands up in the air, and wanders off. 

She came back a couple weeks later. I didn’t recognise her at first, until she started talking about the range of dolls again.

Customer: “Oh, I figured out where I got that doll. It was from [a different independent toy store] in Perth.”

Me: “Perth… as in Western Australia?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “The one that’s over 2,500km away?”

Customer: “Yes! Look, I know what you’re implying, but both of your stores are blue, so it was easy to confuse them!”

Education Is Going Down (Under)

, , , , , | Right | January 1, 2026

I’m opening the store with some coworkers on New Year’s Day. My Coworker is a new hire, originally from Australia.

Me: “Happy New Year!”

Coworker: “Is it? So bloody cold!”

Me: “Oh yeah, it’s normally summer for you guys, isn’t it? What’s an Australian New Year’s like?”

Before he can answer, a customer approaches.

Customer: “Summer for New Year’s? Did you two drink too much last night or something?”

Coworker: “Haha, no. We were just saying that in Australia, where I’m from, New Year’s is in the middle of our summer. Usually, we’d be doing the cliched thing of having a BBQ.”

Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about?! New Year’s is always Jan 1.”

Coworker: “Yeah… and it’s summer in the South.”

Customer: “I’m from The South, and it’s winter in Georgia right now just as it is up here.”

Coworker: “Southern Hemisphere, ma’am.”

Customer: “What’s a hemisphere?”

Coworker: “You know what? Happy New Year! Brrr, sure is cold, isn’t it? Anything I can help you find?”

New Year’s Resolution: Choose your battles!