Taxing Faxing, Part 26

, , , | Right | February 15, 2020

Customer: “How much is faxing?”

Me: “It’s $1.50 a page for local and $2 a page for long distance.”

Customer: “It’s going to [Town].”

Me: “That would be long distance.”

Customer: *making a sour face and shaking his head* “No. Noooooo, no way. That’s not long distance.”

Me: “Why did you ask me, then?”

Taxing Faxing, Part 25
Taxing Faxing, Part 24
Taxing Faxing, Part 23

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The Maine Problem With Education

, , , , | Working | February 7, 2020

(It’s just a few weeks before my wedding, and I’m discussing with a coworker about honeymoon plans. It’s late September.)

Coworker: “Where do you guys plan on going for your honeymoon? Somewhere warm, I hope!”

Me: “No, I’m not big on warmer weather; I love autumn. We decided on Bar Harbor, Maine. It’s going to be peak season with the autumn colors and we’re both really looking forward to having a nice relaxing vacation together.”

Coworker: “Maine? Where’s that, east coast or west coast?”

Me: *seriously confused look, waiting for the joke*

Coworker: “Don’t look at me like that; it’s been a long time since I was in school!”

Me: “East coast.”

(I decided after that it was time to go home!)

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Snow Way They’re That Dumb

, , , , , | Right | February 6, 2020

(We’re having another heatwave, which is very common in Southern Alberta. An Englishman and an American man walk into the restaurant where I work as a waiter.)

American: “I expected it to be… colder.”

Englishman: “Yeah. Are you sure we’re in Canada?”

American: “I dunno, we might be lost. I don’t see any snow.”

(The two walk up to me while I’m serving a young couple.)

Englishman: “’Scuse me, sir?”

(I turn to him.)

Me: “Yes?”

American: “Are we in Canada?”

Me: “I’m guessing you were expecting snow, beavers, maybe an igloo or two?”

(They both nodded. Feeling like being “funny,” I was about to tell them, “No, this is still the States; keep heading north,” but before I could respond, the Englishman whispered something to the American. He then pointed up to a plaque featuring the Canadian flag and its anthem. They both turned extremely red and ran out.)

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Wrong Place, Wrong Relationship

, , , , , | Working | February 6, 2020

(I live in the US, but my dad lives in the UK. Even though we’re usually an ocean apart, we’re still very close, and he does his best to visit. On one trip, he comes with me to the store. We’re checking out, and he’s helping me unload the cart.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything all right?”

Dad: “Yes, thank you!”

Cashier: “Oh, I love your accent! Where are you from?”

Dad: “Oh, I’m visiting her from the United Kingdom.”

Cashier: “Wow! That’s over by Canada, right?”

Dad: “No? It’s over in Europe.”

Cashier: “Oh, well. I was never good with maps. How long have you been a couple?”

(I try not to lose it at this point. My dad gives me a look, making it harder not to laugh.)

Dad: “That’s actually my daughter.”

(At least the cashier stopped asking questions after that.)

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Africans Have To Choose Their Battles

, , , , | Right | February 6, 2020

(A man who works for the airline walks by pushing a little old lady in a wheelchair when I overhear the following.)

Woman: “Where are you from?”

Employee: “Originally Kenya, ma’am.”

Woman: “Oh, okay. I knew it must be somewhere in Africa, but that’s a big country.”

Employee: “Um… Yes, it is.” *sighs*

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