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We Are So Concerned For The Future Of Society

, , , , , , , , | Learning | August 27, 2022

My younger sister told me this story many years ago when we were in high school, but it has stuck with me due to how dumb it was.

[Sister], fourteen at the time, was waiting in line at the canteen for lunch behind two older-looking girls. The girls were discussing the distance between locations in Australia.

My younger sister was only half paying attention when she overheard this gem.

Older Girl #1: “Which do you think is further away, Perth or the Moon?”

Older Girl #2: “Well, you can’t see Perth from here, but you can see the Moon… so wouldn’t the Moon be closer?” 

Older Girl #1: “Oh, yeah, that makes sense.”

My sister was a shy teenager and didn’t interject into the conversation and honestly was too stunned to say anything, anyway.

That Sounds Like A VERY Long Cruise

, , , , , , , , | Romantic | August 24, 2022

After the global health crisis cancelled our anniversary getaway weekends for two years in a row, my husband and I nabbed some cheap cruise tickets last year when everything was still up in the air because of the crisis. It was a bit of a gamble (and technically still is), but it seems to have paid off, with travel restrictions being lifted worldwide.

The cruise will depart from Hawaii and end up in Sydney, stopping at Tahiti, Moorea, and New Zealand along the way. I was eyeing a train tour in New Zealand that looked interesting, but sadly, it sold out. As the person who is mostly in charge of the travel itinerary, I expressed my disappointment about this to my husband, and then continued with trip planning.

A day or two later, this conversation happens.

Me: “Okay, I’ve sorted out Tahiti and Moorea. Now we just have to figure out what we’re going to do in New Zealand!”

Husband: “New Zealand? We’re not going to New Zealand.”

Me: “Yes, we are!”

Husband: “When?”

Me: “On the cruise? We’re going to be in New Zealand for three days!”

Husband: “I thought it wasn’t going to New Zealand.”

Me: “I mean, the train tour got sold out, but the cruise is still going there.”

Husband: *Pauses* “Oh.”

He suddenly looks very sheepish.

Me: “Where did you think it was going?”

He’s looking more and more sheepish.

Husband: “…Colorado.”

Me:What?!

Husband: “Listen. I heard ‘train’ and thought ‘Colorado’. STOP JUDGING MY BRAIN!”

According to my husband’s brain, it is perfectly reasonable for a cruise ship going from Hawaii to French Polynesia to Sydney to also stop at… *squints at map* …Colorado. No, I have not let him live this down.

Ugly American, Party Of One

, , , , | Right | August 23, 2022

Back in the day, I worked for a bilingual outsourcing company that handled [Cellphone Provider]’s call center. This provider delivered prepaid service and had numerous customers so each agent could easily take seventy-plus calls per shift. That — combined with college and horrible management — made the job very exhausting, to the point where it wasn’t unusual for us to see coworkers having mental breakdowns, but we needed the money and we just dealt with it and moved on.

I was in the middle of finding a company to work with during my internship, I must note.

Some of the customers would chit-chat during the short periods of time when the system was processing their orders (how our days were going and so on), and we happily followed. Some others would be pretty demanding.

I had the closing shift until 11:00 pm. Some time around 8:00 pm, I got this customer. He was rushing the call and was very rude while giving me his information and waiting for the system to pull his account. He had a quick question before I started assisting him.

Customer: “Where are you guys located?”

We were in [South American country], but the headquarters offices were in [US City], and we were required to explain it that way, so I did.

Customer: “What?! Why am I not speaking to an American? Get me an American now!

I was fed up and tired of his rudeness.

Me: “Mr. [Customer], if you paid attention during your geography class in elementary school, you should know that America is a huge continent and, while the US is a part of it, you’d be surprised to know that [My Country] is also part of it, too! That means I am as American as you. I even think I’m more American since, after looking at your last name, a clearly Nordic one, I can figure out that you’re probably a descendant of a European immigrant or perhaps, you are an immigrant yourself. I can transfer your call, and it’ll probably be answered by a [Southeastern Asian country] agent. So, how can I assist you today?”

He was very toned down, and for the rest of the call, he just answered my questions, and I added his minutes and finished the call as required.

It turns out that Quality Assurance was listening to that call, and I was called out to the account manager’s office. He pointed out QA’s findings and asked me to arrive half an hour earlier the next day to discuss it.

I found a missed call on my cellphone when I finished the shift that night and returned the call the next morning. It was a company accepting my internship, so later that morning, I quit my job at that call center. I never heard from the account manager again!

I guess I won a double prize that night!

The Supercontinent Is Super-Subversive

, , , , , , , , | Working | August 19, 2022

Years ago, a friend of mine worked as a tech in the deep bowels of an office building. Think the corner of a sub-basement — not exactly a public position. Nonetheless, he was ordered to remove some posters that were deemed offensively political. What did the posters say?

“Reunite Gondwanaland!” and “Support the Pangaean Liberation Front.”

“Sacred” Means Nothing To Some People

, , , , , | Right | August 17, 2022

I worked as a travel agent for several years, and one story stands out in my mind. A middle-aged man walked in with a request.

Client: “Yeah, I wanna climb Ayers Rock before they close it. How much?”

Me: “Well, I can look up flight prices for you, but please bear in mind that it is extremely offensive to Indigenous peoples for you to climb Uluru. It is a sacred site in their culture.”

Client: “Yeah, but it’s not illegal yet, right?”

Me: *Stern but polite* “No, not illegal, just highly offensive.”

Client: “So, not illegal.”

Me: “Not. Yet.”

I then stared at him using my best judgy face until he got uncomfortable and left. Thankfully, climbing Uluru is now illegal.