During a summer session at the university I attended, one of the students organized a trip to nearby Lassen Volcanic National Park. The park is at a relatively high elevation, and the organizer did not realize that this meant that, even in late June, much of the snow would still not be melted.

When we attempted to visit the geothermally active area called “Bumpass Hell,” which features mud pots, boiling springs, and fumaroles, we found that the trailhead was inaccessible, blocked by about a foot and a half of snow.

When we returned to the school, we were able to report, in all honesty, “We tried to go to Hell, but it was closed because it had frozen over.”

I drive a concrete truck. We deliver ready-mix concrete throughout a fairly large area. Keep in mind that concrete has a shelf life of ninety minutes once water mixes with the cement. This is very important on “spec jobs”.

Our company uses a routing and tracking system I will call the Terrible System. If there is a good route or less than good route, it chooses the worst route of all routes possible. After working with it for a short time, this was noted. During training, new drivers are told to use it for the final part of the route only. The problem is that every time one doesn’t follow a route, an alert is sent to management. Early in using Terrible System, managers found a way to turn off these alerts.

A new manager starts. After a year, he brings up in meetings that drivers are not following Terrible System’s routing. Multiple times we tell him that it gives us the worst and longest routes. He doesn’t listen.

After six months, [New Manager] states that drivers will be written up if we continue to not follow Terrible System routing. Drivers don’t listen. A few days after this pronouncement, a fellow driver is written up. This is talked about.

Cue malicious compliance! The next day, on my second load, I have to take a load to a location I’ve had before. It is fifteen miles east of the plant and then a ten-mile leg north. Following that route takes about forty-five minutes or less. We have been going to this job site for three months now and know that Terrible System gives a much longer route. I am the first truck of four and note on the radio that we need to follow the Terrible System route as directed. Off I go!

The route it takes me is southeast thirteen miles and then north on an interstate highway thirty-five miles, including a chicken coop (a weigh station — trucks are chronically overweight for interstate). Then, it takes me east through a large metro area for twenty miles, followed by the last leg south for about fifteen miles. It takes 125 minutes for me (Terrible System gave an estimated travel time of 140 minutes, so I did well).

I arrive, and I’m timed out. I’m rejected, and that costs the company $1,000 for the concrete, not to mention the twenty gallons of fuel I burned. The second and third trucks are the same. The fourth truck is stopped at the chicken coop and the company has a $500 fine.

The customer is pissed and calls [New Manager] screaming! [New Manager] asks to talk to me.

Me: “We followed [Terrible System]’s routing as directed; you can check that easily.”

The next day, a sign was posted in the break room stating that drivers are to use professional discretion in choosing the best and most expeditious routes to jobs.

I work in security at a major amusement park. A woman and her two kids are standing next to one of the large stationary maps that has a red dot on it to show you where you are. She flags me down.

Customer: “The small map that I picked up at the entrance is broken.”

Me: “How so, ma’am?”

Customer: “It doesn’t display the ‘you are here’ red dot like the big one.”

She points to the large stationary map. I attempt to explain why her map doesn’t have the red dot.

Customer: “I’ll be complaining to management about you not giving me a new map to replace my broken one!”

I felt so bad for her kids.

I work in the online grocery department. We are in a major tourist destination along the Gulf Coast, and there are two towns along the beach here. The town in the east has only been popular with tourists for the last ten years or so while the town in the west has been popular since the 1950s.

First-time tourists don’t always realize the towns are separate and tend to call the whole area by the western town’s name. Both towns have a [Store], and sometimes customers aren’t sure which one they placed their order with. In the summer, my coworkers and I will have this conversation at least once per day. We are at the less popular eastern store.

Customer: “Hello, I’m here to pick up my order.”

Me: “Sure! What’s the name on the order?”

Customer: “It’s [Customer].”

Me: “I’m not seeing that. Could you spell it for me, please?”

Customer: “Okay.” *Spells their name*

Me: “I’m still not seeing it. Could it be under an alternate name? Your maiden name, your spouse’s name, or something else?”

Customer: “No, just my name.”

Me: “Okay, are you certain your order is for this store?”

Customer: “Yes! I placed the order for [Western Town Store].”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is [Eastern Town Store].”

Customer: “No, this is [Western Town]!”

Me: “It’s actually not. We are in [Eastern Town]. We don’t have your order. I bet [Western Town] does. Would you like me to give you directions to their location?”

Customer: “Well, I guess, but if they don’t have it, I’ll call and complain!”

So far, no one has called back to say that the other store didn’t have their order, either. For the most part, these customers are actually staying in the eastern town. One would think if the address of their condo or hotel has the eastern town’s name they’d realize which town they are in.

Client: “I sure like dealing with you Australian guys. I love the accent! Which part of Australia are you from?”

Me: “I was born in and grew up in Scotland. That’s where the accent comes from!”

Client: “Oh, my goodness, I’m sorry. But you speak English so well!”