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Deceptive Desserts

, , , , | Right | March 16, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, but I have a complaint to make.”

Me: “Oh, sure. What’s the matter?”

Customer: “I heard a group of teenagers over there talking, and they said the cake that you serve is a lie.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “What exactly do you have to say for yourselves?! I come in here, expecting to find a decent establishment, only to find out you are selling fake food!”

Me: “Um, ma’am. They were repeating a popular phrase from the internet. I can assure you, the cake that we sell very much exists.”

Customer: “Prove it! Show me this cake.”

Me: *points*

Customer: “Oh. In that case, you should write a letter to the internet about how they’re making up rumors about your products.”

Me: “I’ll… I’ll do that. Thank you.”

Customer Service II: The Reckoning

, , , | Right | February 23, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] Communications, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, my cable box in my bedroom is not working.”

Me: “Okay, I can take a look at that for you. How is it not working?”

Caller: “Look, I just want to watch Eragon in my room…”

(I finally figure out that the box will not take the signal we are sending.)

Me: “It looks like we will need to get a tech out there to replace the box.”

Caller: “Why?”

(I try to explain that the box is refusing the signal and that we need to switch the box. This goes on for five minutes before I give up and try an alternative answer…)

Me: “Um… the box has gone rogue and is no longer taking instructions from us. We need to bring it back in for training.”

Caller: “Oh, that makes sense! Why didn’t you just say that?”

Me: “…”


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Because PvP In Produce Is Teh Suxxorz

, , , , | Right | June 8, 2008

(I worked in the meat department of a large, popular store a few years ago. Alongside this, I was both in college, and played World of Warcraft, so I was pretty zonked whenever I worked.)

Customer: “HEY!”

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: *scowls* “Where’s LARD?!”

(The name for my character in WoW was Lard. The night before, I ended up having to kick a guildy due to him basically being a moron. After he was kicked, he messaged to me that he was ‘going to get me one day’)

Customer: “…Lard?”

Me: “Um… um!”

Customer: *glares, then looks down* “Oh, here it is.”

(He bent down and picked up a jar of lard from the counter in front of me and walked away, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I later found out that the same person deleted his character, rerolled the opposite faction, and leveled him to 70 in order to “Kill Lard and camp his corpse.” I consider that the moment that I won at WoW.)


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Mmm, Pasty Nerds

, , , , | Right | June 3, 2008

(A woman in her forties walks in…)

Customer: “I’d like $5 worth of games for a Nintendo DS and the system itself. This should cover it all.”

(The customer puts $20 on the counter.)

Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have any DS games for five bucks, and if you want a DS, you’re about sixty-five dollars short… $115 if you want a new one.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “[Toy Store Chain] has them for $15. You should price match.”

Me: “Ma’am, we do not price match here, and even if we did, I’m only a seasonal employee and wouldn’t likely be allowed to.”

Customer: *screaming* “Let me speak to your manager!”

Me: “All right…”

(I go to get manager from the back room. She explains the situation. BTW, I’m a woman myself.)

Customer: “THIS IS DISCRIMINATION! YOU AREN’T GIVING ME FAIR TREATMENT BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAT, PASTY NERD THAT KNOWS THINGS LIKE YOU TWO! AND BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN!”

Manager: “I’d like you to leave the store, please.”

Customer: “FINE! NERDS!”


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Come To Think Of It, He Is Pretty Incredible

, , , | Right | May 24, 2008

(I was in the store buying my comics when a lady walked in.)

Lady: “Hi, can I get some comics appraised?”

Worker: “Okay, what comics are they, and where are they?”

Lady: “The comics are in my car. I’ve got a bunch of Marvel comics that I don’t need. I got a bunch of Spider-Man and I got the Fantastic Four from the ’50’s. Oh, I also got that comic… what’s it called… The Incredible Hulk Hogan?”

Worker: “You mean, the Incredible Hulk?”

Lady: “Yeah, that’s it!”

Me/My friends: “…”