(I’m checking out my items at the front of a store when a couple bursts in. The girlfriend is clearly upset at her boyfriend.)

Girlfriend: “You really expect me to be all right with you hanging out with your friends on our one-year anniversary?!”

Boyfriend: “It’s been a tradition of my friends to do this for over six years! I can take you out any weekend, but [Friend] only gets his brother’s VHS copy of the original Star Wars movies once a year, and so we have a marathon! Come on! It has all the original scenes and characters before Lucas screwed it up!”

Girlfriend: “You all are such nerds! Who cares about the changes?! If anything, it made the movies better!”

Boyfriend: “You haven’t even seen the movies!”

Girlfriend: “No real girl has! I haven’t, and…” *points at me* “…she hasn’t! Fine! Go ahead with your stupid marathon! I don’t care anymore! Do whatever the h*** you want!”

(The girlfriend storms down an aisle.)

Me: *imitating Admiral Ackbar* “It’s a trap!” *imitating C-3PO* “Let the girlfriend win.”

(Not only did the boyfriend crack up, but the check-out guy gave me his number!)

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(My professor is going to have a baby boy soon.)

Professor: “Now, who can tell me what radiation is?”

Student: “It’s what made the Hulk!”

Professor: “No! We don’t talk about the Hulk. That’s bad science. He’s my least favorite Avenger, because mass doesn’t work that way. No.”

Me: “But you said you were naming your baby Bruce!”

Professor: *looks me dead in the eye* “Batman.”

(My mom, dad, brother, and I are grilling for Memorial Day after spending the afternoon relaxing. This is my first nice dinner with them since getting home from college. I have been a Harry Potter fan for over a decade.)

Mom: “I was asleep for a while, but then I snored and woke myself up!”

Me: “You always do that!”

Dad: “Well, it’s really a snarfle. She could stay asleep if she snored; it’s the snarfles that get her.

Me: “Ugh, those snarfles. They’re probably related to the nargles. Nargles are nasty. They buzz around your head and get into your ears and—”

(My brother is staring.)

Me: “What? Don’t you read The Quibbler?”

Brother: “You just ruined the whole thing! It was just fine without the Harry Potter reference!”

(I throw my hands in the air.)

Me: “Thank you! At least you knew it was Harry Potter!”

Brother: “How could I not? I had to live with hearing every last tidbit about it for years!”

Me: “I suspect nargles.”

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(An employee giving out free olive samples at the grocery store.)

Employee: “Hey, you should try some too, they’re really good!”

My Stepfather: “I don’t really like olives, but thanks.”

Employee: “But they are different! They’re cured in oil instead of brine, and have oregano on them to give them a really nice flavour.”

(The employee continues to wax-poetic about the olives until my Stepfather finally agrees to try a small one.)

My Stepfather: “Hey, that’s pretty good. Did you Jedi mind trick me or something?”

Employee: *blank stare*

Me: “These are not the droids you’re looking for?” *hand motion*

Employee: *continues to stare blankly*

(Another employee, [Employee #2], who is stocking shelves behind us and has heard the exchange is nearly on the floor laughing. As we walk away, we hear her trying to explain things to [Employee #1]…)

Employee #2: “Okay, so there is this movie called Star Wars…”

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(I have recently started a college program focusing on video game creation. Needless to say, most of the students and teachers are a little geeky. I’ve just made some drawings for a group project and need to scan them, but I am having issues getting the scanner to work.)

Me: “Excuse me, [name of teacher]. I can’t seem to get the scanner to work. Could you help me with that?”

Teacher: “Sure, let’s have a look.”

(We go back to the scanner and I put one of my drawings on the scanner bed.)

Teacher: “Now look, here’s what you do…”

(He proceeds to stand in front of the scanner, and dramatically raises his arms.)

Teacher: “BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!”

(After a few moments of silence he calmly turns back to me while I’m left staring at him rather flabbergasted.)

Teacher: “And if that doesn’t work, you try this…”

(He then moves to the computer attached to the scanner, and shows me the menu option I’d overlooked. Within a minute, I had my scans. The man is still one of my favorite teachers.)