(I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months and want to tell him how I am feeling. My boyfriend is doing a PhD in math and is extremely, painstakingly accurate about everything.)
Me: “You make me really happy. I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve been spending together. I feel really strongly about you.”
(My boyfriend nods and smiles. I wait expectantly for a response, but he just looks confused.)
Me: “Well? Don’t you feel the same as I do?”
Boyfriend: “No.”
Me: “What?! Why not?”
Boyfriend: “Well, I feel analogous to what I perceive to be the way you feel. Since I am not you, and therefore cannot experience your feelings directly, I cannot say that I feel the same as you do because I can never know exactly how you feel. I feel that what I understand you to be describing as your experience is something that I agree with and relate to, but it would be inaccurate to say that I ‘feel the same’.”
(A female customer comes up to my register with a heap of baby books. She notices my name tag.)
Customer: “That’s an unusual name. Where did your parents come up with it?”
Me: “Oh, my parents are Star Trek fans. The character I’m named after happened to be a name they liked. It’s also Native American and means ‘light’.”
Customer: “It’s beautiful! Do you mind if I write it down?”
(Flattered, I write down my name, the pronunciation, and the definition on a slip of paper. The customer buys the baby books and leaves. Six months later another customer comes in, and sees my unusual name.)
Customer #2: “Oh, so that’s where she got it.”
Me: “Pardon?”
Customer #2: “My sister-in-law just had a baby girl. She said she got the name from an employee in this store.”
Me: “Oh, my. Well please thank her for me. It’s an honor.”
(I never got to meet the next generation of my name. I will not forget the lady who bought the books and chose my name over all the others.)
