For Some Reason I Can’t Explain…

, , , , , | Learning | August 13, 2020

I have unusual taste in music and typically know zilch about new or popular releases. I’m in middle school and my orchestra teacher has just announced that we’re going to perform a string version of the Coldplay song “Viva La Vida” as our “fun piece.”

Me: “Viva La Vida?”

Classmate: “I love this song! Do you know it?”

Me: “Nope. Never heard of the group, either.”

The teacher plays the song on her laptop. I’m excited beyond belief.

Me: “IT’S ‘FALLEN KINGDOM’!”

Classmates: *Pause* “What?”

It turned out that “Fallen Kingdom” was a parody of “Viva La Vida.” Geekdom strikes again!

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Pizza: Finish It!

, , , , , , , | Right | August 11, 2020

I’m delivering three pizzas that were ordered online; there’s a weird note attached to the order warning me to watch out for ninja attacks. When I actually get there, a guy answers the door dressed as one of the ninja characters from the video game Mortal Kombat and there are two girls also partially dressed as characters talking in the living room behind him. The transaction goes as normal until the end when he tells me, “If you see Scorpion, tell him he’s late.”

Some guy, presumably “Scorpion,” pulls up as I am walking down the driveway and he must notice the confused look on my face because he laughs and explains that they are working on their cosplays for a convention they are all going to in a few months.

I’ve seen a lot of weird things on my deliveries, but I can safely say this is the first time I’ve seen ninjas.

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Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 43

, , , , , , | Right | August 5, 2020

It’s 2012 and I’m working a slow night shift at our deli. A customer comes and asks a question about a meat I’m unsure if we carry, so I ask a senior coworker if we do. While she goes off to check, I stay to chat with the customer. I notice her daughter sitting in the cart, who hasn’t been paying any attention to our talk, is playing an old teal Gameboy Color with a light blue, see-through cartridge. Being a fan of Pokémon since I was very young, I immediately recognize the game she’s playing.

Me: “Ma’am, may I ask what your daughter is playing?”

She looks to her daughter.

Customer: “Oh, I’m not sure. [Daughter], what are you playing?”

Customer’s Daughter: *Looks up* Pokémon Crystal. My older brother let me play.”

Me: “That’s an awesome older brother you have! I wish my older brother would have been nice enough to let me play his systems; I needed to get my own just to play! Who’s your favorite Pokémon?”

Customer’s Daughter: “Pikachu!”

Me: “Awesome! Mine, too! I know it’s a bit of a reach, but high-five me!”

I reached over the tall service counter to give the girl a high-five, which she returned. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the meat her mom was looking for, but I’ll never forget that little girl and her nice older brother, letting her play games from a generation gone-by!

Related:
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 42
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 41
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 40
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 39
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 38


This story is part of our Pokémon roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Hilarious Stories That Only Pokémon Fans Will Understand

 

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Geeks (And Doctors) Come In All Shapes And Sizes

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | July 31, 2020

It’s the middle of winter with a decent amount of snow outside, late in 2006, and I am waiting in line at a shop. The little girl standing right in front of me, about eight, maybe ten years old, is wearing a big, thick, puffy, bright pink winter jacket and a purple hat and gloves.

The little girl turns around and looks up at me, very serious-faced, her head tilted to the side.

I smile down to her and nod in greeting.

The little girl pulls off her gloves, dangling them at the ends of strings, and then unzips her jacket. She pulls one side open and reaches inside to pull out a blue-light sonic screwdriver. As I watch in surprise, she scans me foot to head, head to foot, and then she tosses the screwdriver a few inches up and catches it sideways, staring at it as if examining a readout, in perfect David Tennant style. Then, she gives a satisfied, serious nod, tucks it back into her jacket, zips it up, and turns back around.

“Did… I… Wha… Did you just sonic me?!” I say in shock.

The little girl’s dad turns around to give me the biggest proud grin and then turns back to sign his receipt.


This story is part of our Awesome Girl Gamer roundup!

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I Was A Teenage Beowulf

, , , , , , , , | Working | July 27, 2020

I’ve just started an after-school job at a print shop. My job involves cleaning, making sure the machines always have paper and ink, and clearing jams. My trainer is showing me around showing how to check the paper and ink levels and explaining what the machines do. Soon, we get to the biggest machine.

Trainer: “And now we get to the banner printer…”

Suddenly, the machine starts making this ungodly grinding noise.

Trainer: “And the beast awakes; that, dear squire, is Grendel’s Mother. When she roars like this, there is but one solution. One must take up Hrunting and strike at the beast’s head.”

I look at her like she’s crazy.

The trainer grabs a Nerf sword with the word Hrunting written on it from beside the printer and whacks the printer with it. The grinding stops.

Trainer: “Seriously, she’ll do that every now and then; just smack her. Right here, not over here, and don’t hit any buttons when you hit her. The old hag is older than both of us and replacing her would cost more than we make off her in two years. Percussive maintenance has proven effective. Just don’t use Naegling on Grendel’s Mother; he’s just for getting paper to fit into the compactor.”

“Naegling” was written on the back of the yardstick, which was indeed useful for getting things into the compactor.


This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

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