Adding Up To A Fun Time!

, , , , , | Working | October 15, 2020

My family and I are riding the Tower of Terror ride in the California Adventure Park in Disneyland. The cast member seating us on the ride comes by to check that all of the seat belts are buckled by having us tug on a yellow strap attached to the seatbelt.

When the cast member reaches my little brother, he stops and holds out his wrist to my brother and says, “Hey!” My little brother has a calculator watch — a watch with a tiny calculator attached — that he loves even though it is a little nerdy. The cast member has the exact same watch! We laugh about it and then ride the ride.

After the ride, the same cast member is waiting outside the elevator doors and beckons my brother and our family to him. He writes us a pass to ride without waiting in line just for having a cool calculator watch! Disney magic is real!

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

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She Shuri Knows What She’s Talking About

, , , , , , | Right | October 9, 2020

I am six feet tall in flats, and I’m also a very deep-skinned black woman. I’m used to people looking twice at me. I’m also used to the area I live in being… not very friendly. I’ve been stopped in my own driveway by the police, asking what I was doing in my own yard. I’ve learned for the most part to let it roll off my back, but it means I’m in a constant state of readiness.

I’m in line at the shop with a basket full of things, and the young woman in front of me has the most GORGEOUS baby propped up on her shoulder who is staring at me and grinning. I LOVE children, so I’m pulling funny faces and smiling at the tiny one, trying to ignore the fact that the four- or five-year-old girl with her is staring at me with her mouth open. The mother looks behind her and sees that I am playing with the baby and smiles at me, seeming rather friendly. She glances down and sees her daughter staring.

Woman: “[Daughter], don’t stare at people; it’s rude!”

The little girl closes her mouth and looks at the floor, mumbling something. I crouch down so I can hear her better.

Me: “Did you ask me something, sweetheart?”

Little Girl: *Suddenly adorably shy* “I was just wondering if maybe you’re from Wakanda. You look like Shuri.” 

Of all the things small kids have said to me in stores, that was definitely the cutest. I do, in fact, have long braids, and I even had a Black Panther T-shirt on. Naturally, I joined her in a Wakanda salute. Wakanda forever!

Silence, Oppressor!

This story is part of our Most Inspirational Of 2020 roundup!

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Read the Most Inspirational Of 2020 roundup!

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

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That Crosses A Line

, , , , , , , | Learning | October 9, 2020

My friends and I go to a very conservative religious school. We are huge fans of a comic book series about the survivors of a health crisis — Garth Ennis’ “Crossed” — which causes its victims to develop a cross-shaped rash across their face and act out their most depraved, violent fantasies. One of the characters is a large man who uses part of a horse as a weapon and has a particularly crude battle cry.

Halfway through the term, I fracture my nose playing rugby and have to have it in a cast for eight weeks. As a result, I come in for a lot of ribbing and, when the cast is removed, I have a — you guessed it — distinct cross-shaped rash across my face.

On my first day back at school, [Friend #1] starts laughing so hard he can barely stand.

Friend #1: “Oh, my God, you look like you’ve been crossed!”

[Friend #2] runs up, leaps into the air, and thwacks me on the head.

Friend #2: *Screaming* “Horsec**k!”

That is when we hear somebody clear their throat and turn to see the school’s principal, chaplain, vice-principal, several parents, and a visiting archbishop looking on, aghast.

The archbishop pats me on the shoulder.

Archbishop: “Well, aren’t you a lucky chap, then. I’m sure you’ll make all the girls very happy.”

We all got detention.

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Isn’t It Usually The Other Way Around?

, , , , | Related | October 7, 2020

We recently got a new puppy, and he’s still in the “learning what is and isn’t a toy” stage. One evening, we are finishing up rewatching a certain magic-themed film series when the dog comes running into the room and paws at my husband’s knee.

Husband: “Whatcha got, buddy? You can’t have socks; we’ve been over this. Wait. Doggy has given Master a sock? Master is freeee!”

And he grabbed one of the puppy’s rope pulls, instead, and ran into the other room, the dog happily bouncing behind all the way.

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It’s Best Not To Irritate The Demons

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 11, 2020

I’m a former professional costumer and I still love sewing and building props. My boyfriend and I met at a convention, and as you might imagine, we cosplay together at every opportunity. While I love making costumes, I don’t like wearing anything too complicated or heavy; I prefer lightweight and flattering. My boyfriend, on the other hand, loves elaborate costumes; the bigger and more impressive, the better. This suits us both beautifully; he buys the materials, I make both costumes, he’s my model, and I’m his handler since most of the masks tend to limit visibility.

At a recent convention, he is dressed as a many-eyed demon — a costume I am particularly proud of — and I am in a fairly simple kimono as a character from the same series. We’ve been getting compliments all day. Then, a guy stops us to get a better look.

Guy: “Dude, great costume!”

Boyfriend & Me: “Thanks!”

At this, the guy turns nasty and wheels around to glare at me.

Guy: “I wasn’t talking to you! What, did you thrift that outfit yourself?”

Boyfriend: “Dude… she’s the one who made this.”

Guy: “Big deal. You’re the one wearing it! Chicks are supposed to do s*** for their men, anyway.”

My boyfriend is a fairly big guy to begin with; with the costume’s mask and horns, he comes in at just about nine feet tall, and upon hearing this, he uses that to his advantage and LOOMS.

Boyfriend: “You need to leave, or I just might decide to harvest a few more human parts.”

The guy splutters and stomps off. A nearby demon slayer from a different series, who’s been watching the whole thing, grinned.

Slayer: “You both look great. Usually, I slay monsters, but in this case, I think the demon gets a pass. You want to hunt that guy, I won’t tell.”

Me: “Yep! He’s my favorite demon. He protects me from all the dangerous humans.”

Both of them had a good laugh at that, and when a few other people wandered over, the slayer wound up joining us in an ad hoc photoshoot.

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