Mom I Gotta Go, The Hookers Are Here

, , , | Friendly | July 18, 2017

(I’m at a friend’s birthday, and we’re playing board games. In the middle of a game, the host gets a phone call and steps outside. He doesn’t return for several minutes, and the rest of the group starts to get impatient. Meanwhile, his girlfriend has also left the room to check on the food.)

Friend #1: *loudly* “Hey, [Host]! It’s your turn!”

(There’s no reaction, and we can hear that Host is still talking to someone on the phone.)

Friend #2: *even louder, with an evil smirk* “Hey, [Host]! Hurry up, the prostitutes are here!”

Friend #3: “Wouldn’t it be funny if that made [Girlfriend] appear instead?”

(Right on cue, his girlfriend enters the room, grinning broadly. She points back to the corridor where her boyfriend is still on the phone.)

Girlfriend: “Shout louder. His mom can’t hear you.”

Making A Ballsy First Impression

, , | CA, USA | Friendly | May 19, 2017

I’ve recently joined a niche community that collects ABJDS (Asian ball-jointed dolls) and have gotten my very first doll as a wedding gift from my husband. Excited, I decide to arrange something called a ‘Doll Meet’ where local people in the community get together, talk shop, trade, and just generally have a fun time together, playing and dressing up our dolls. I put out on an open invite and get a few responses from people I’ve met previously who are happy to come over, including one friend who, while not in the hobby, is always happy to meet new people. I’ve known her for years and we constantly mess with each other.

Most everyone has arrived, except for my long time friend and, when the doorbell rings, I assume it’s her. I open the door, shout ‘go away!’, and slam the door shut, as I often do with her.

Only, as the door’s falling shut, I realize it’s not my friend, but a girl I hadn’t yet met who’d asked to join the party.

Horrified, I yank the door open, apologizing profusely. She’s confused, but luckily has a good sense of humor and was able to laugh it off and we’ve been friends ever since.

My friend who likes to mess with me thought it was hysterical.