Lost The Street Drug Catalog

, , , , , | Right | April 10, 2019

(I am a pharmacist. While I’m on lunch, a customer comes up to the counter while my technician is helping another customer in the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Do you have a pharmacist working? It’s an emergency! I need to speak to her now!”

(My technician calls me back to the pharmacy. The customer sees me arrive and tries to stop me outside the pharmacy, but I make her wait until I get in the pharmacy.)

Customer: “I just bought these pills off the street, and they are supposed to be Xanax. But I looked on my phone with Google, and it said they weren’t Xanax. I need you to tell me what this is now. It’s an emergency that I know what this is.”

Me: *looking blankly* “I will not identify any medication that is purchased illegally.”

Customer: “I need to know what this is. It’s an emergency! Why won’t you tell me what it is?”

Me: “Because it was illegally purchased, and I’m not helping people purchase drugs on the street.”

(She looked at me for a few seconds and then walked off.)

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Your Inability To Listen Is At Large

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2018

(I work at a “snoball” stand that’s pretty popular in the south. We have over 100 flavors. Pumpkin spice is one of the flavors, but no one really orders it unless it is fall, even though we have the flavor all year round.)

Customer: “Can I get a pumpkin ‘snoball’ with condensed milk?”

Me: “Sure, what size?”

Customer: “Condensed milk.”

Me: “What size?”

Customer: “Pumpkin.”

Manager: *to me* “We’ll just give her a medium.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $2.50.”

Customer: “It’s supposed to be $3.50, because I ordered a large.”

(At least she was honest about the price.)

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