Fuelled By The Lord

| MN, USA | Religion

Me: *working the register as a customer approaches* “Hello, how are you?”

Customer: “I’ve been standing outside for ten minutes waiting for you to turn the pump on!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you need to be sure to press pay inside, or swipe your credit card before the pump can be activated.”

Customer: “No, no. YOU need to start it for me.”

(She reaches towards me, and I take a step back as she grabs my arm. As her eyes are closed she says:)

Customer: “God has commanded you to turn it on.”

Me: *as she is heading outside* “All right, be sure to press pay inside, then.”

(I watch as she presses the button, pumps her fuel, and comes back inside.)

Customer: “Did you feel him?”

Immediately Discount Their Argument

| Auckland, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I have served a customer and she has come back in with a malicious look on her face.)

Me: “What’s the issue, ma’am?”

Customer: You didn’t ask me for my discount card.”

Me: “Oh, my apologies. Unfortunately, I cannot do anything to give you that discount now because it has to go through the till first, but there is a number on the back of your card you can call and they can help you.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you ask me for it?”

Me: “It’s up to you to use it, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “I am going to need to take your name and managers number. Give it to me.”

Me: “You knew you had that card perfectly well. My name is not for you to know, and if you are here to stir trouble, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I did not come to this country to be treated like this by customer service!”

Me: “And I do not work my a** off seven days a week for people like you to come in here and attack me like this. Get out.”

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Sticking To Her Expectations

| USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work at a chain grocery store. I’d just gotten out of work and went to a gas station to put gas in my car. As I was sliding my card, I suddenly hear yelling from behind me. I turn around to see a little girl, four years old, tops, in a pink dress, bolting across the parking lot, her father hot in pursuit.)

Girl: “Hi! Are you from the store?”

Me: “Yep!”

Girl: *hands on hips* “Do you have something for me?”

(Our cashiers often give stickers to kids. She must be a regular customer with her parents.)

Me: “Sorry, hun, I left all my stickers at the [Company]’s store. Next time you come in, ask for [My Name] and I’ll give you a lot of stickers, okay?”

Girl: “Okay.” *she thinks about this, and then looks up at me* “Why are you not at the [Company]’s store? Don’t you live there?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I just needed to put some gas in this car. Is that okay with you?”

Girl: *nodding thoughtfully* “Yes, I guess you can do that if you want to.”

(Her dad finally caught up to her and picked her up and started apologizing profusely, but I just smiled and said she made my day. I told her that she had to listen to her dad from now on and she agreed.)

The Cone Of Despair

| Savannah, GA, USA | Extra Stupid

(One of the pumps are blocked off by two orange cones.)

Customer: “Is pump five working?”

Me: “No, sir, it has two cones on it.”

Customer: “Yes, I know but is it working.”

Me: “No, sir. It is out of order hence the cones.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I wasn’t sure because there wasn’t a sign.”

Rage Against The Rage Against The Machine

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I’m one of the customers in this story and am shopping at a well-know Texan gas station after work. In addition to walking in to prepay for my gas, I also pick up a snack item and an ICEE for me to eat on my back home. However, as I walking to one of the three or four ICEE machines I hear:)

ICEE Machine: “Please place the lid on your cup before dispensing your ICEE. Please place the lid on your cup before dispensing your ICEE.”

(This causes me to take a step back and blink before laughing, knowing some fool must have made a mess before. However, I do as the machine instructs and head over to the cashier, still shaking my head.)

Cashier: *scanning my items* “Is this going to be everything?”

Me: “Actually, I need [amount] on [pump].”

(The cashier brings up my car to make sure I have the right number. Before I can continue we hear another customer at the ICEE machine.)

Other Customer: “F***! Your machine is broken! It sprayed this s*** all over me!”

(He comes around the corner, wearing his ICEE and holding – you guessed it – the cup without the lid on it. I let the cashier fix the idiot’s problem, but then hear:)

Customer: “You should put a fucking out-of-order sign on that they all spray -” *he notices I have an ICEE cup that’s filled to the top of the lid* “Which machine did you get that from?!”

(I point to the one I used.)

Customer: “THAT’S THE ONE I USED! ALL IT DID WAS SPRAY AND DUMP IT ALL OVER THE SIDE OF MY CUP!”

(At this point I had enough of his stupidity and decide to shut him up with showing him up. I walk over to the machine. It, like last time, gave out the direction to put the lid on before dispensing.)

Me: *mockingly* “Oh, ‘Please place the lid on your cup before dispensing your ICEE.’ Gee, I guess I should do that; no telling what could happen if I don’t.”

(I look back and dispense a color ICEE that matches the mess that was left on the cup he’s now tossed without a problem.)

Me: “Wow! That was so nice and easy, and I don’t have any mess on me!”

(At this point the customer is now cherry red and stammering.)

Other Customer: “Uhhh… umm… bu…”

(He then takes his leave before causing any more problems. At the same time, the cashier was back at the counter with another employee.)

Me: “Sorry about that. Though, I guess I’ll buy two ICEEs.”

Other Employee: “No, you won’t. Your total is [half of the amount I asked for my gas]”

Me: “Uhhh… but that’s not even what I asked for gas.”

Other Employee: “After what you did for us, let us help you.”

(Turned out the other employee was the shift manager and he basically let me walk out only paying $20 for a full tank of gas, 2 ICEEs, and my snack.)

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