Wouldn’t Really Consider That Essential Oils

| Omaha, NE, USA | Related | November 23, 2016

(This was a strange thing I overheard at a gas station on the way home…)

Kid: “Dad, Dad, Dad, gimme the gas pump, please, please!”

Dad: “[Kid], get back in the car.”

Kid: “Daaad, please give me the pump. I don’t want to taste it! I only want to smell it!”

Another Death After The Funeral

| OK, USA | Working | November 18, 2016

(My grandfather passed away the Wednesday before Labor Day, and I go to his funeral. It’s an 800-mile trip, one way, to get there. As my supervisor lost her husband on the same day, this leaves the store SEVERELY shorthanded on one of the busiest days of the year. I was supposed to be back that Monday, but the funeral director talked my father into having the funeral ON Monday, and the burial was Tuesday. So, I am gone for a week and terrified I’ll be in trouble for having been gone much longer than expected. On Thursday, I walk into the store, carrying the paper with the obituary, the planner showing I was at the funeral, and even my grandfather’s flag to prove I wasn’t just skipping out of work.)

Assistant Manager: “[My Name], you need to go to the office. [Manager] needs to talk to you.”

Me: *anxious* “No, no, see, [Assistant Manager], I really WAS at a funeral! I’ve got the things you need to prove it, and the director talked my dad into having it two days later than it was supposed to be, and I’m so sorry. I—”

Assistant Manager: *suddenly very stern* “You need to get into that office, RIGHT NOW, and talk to [Manager]!”

(I go into the office, having a massive panic attack and thinking I’m in serious trouble and on the verge of being fired.)

Manager: “Oh, there you are.”

Me: “[Manager], really, I was at a funeral. You know I don’t like skipping work. I’ll take a write up. Please don’t fire me! I have the things you need. I even brought his flag!”

Manager: *confused* “[My Name], what are you talking about? I know you were at a funeral. I wanted to give you the plant we bought for you.”

(I take the plant and carry it out. My panic has faded, and I just turn and glare at the assistant manager, who smiles, and I realize she was playing me.)

Assistant Manager: “So! Do you like the plant?”

Me: “Which car is yours? I need to go key it.”

All Pumped Up For The Wrong Reasons

| MN, USA | Right | November 11, 2016

(I work as a cashier at a pre-pay only gas station. Many customers don’t know we’re a pre-pay only station and frequently insert the nozzle into their car expecting us to turn on the gas for them, which we cannot do. The customer in this story has just tried to pump without paying and we’ve informed him over the intercom that he needs to come inside to pre-pay. He comes in moments later looking annoyed.)

Customer: “Why do I have to pre-pay?”

Me: “Sorry about the inconvenience; it’s store policy. How much would you like to pump?”

Customer: “I just want to fill it.”

Me: “In order to pre-pay we need a dollar amount of gas that you want to pay.”

Customer: “I don’t know how much I need; I just want to fill it.”

Me: “Yeah, but we don’t know how much it will take to fill your car. Just guess how much gas you need and if you don’t end up pumping it all into the tank you can come back in and get your change.”

Customer: “I don’t want to have to come back in. I just don’t see why I have to pre-pay. Is this such a bad neighbourhood that you get people driving off a lot?”

(I start to try and tell him the policy has to do with how our store is arranged, we can’t see the pumps well enough from the store to determine if someone drove off without paying, but before I can say that he interrupts.)

Customer: “Can’t I just give you my keys and you turn on the pump for me?”

(At this point my manager who is close by steps in to tell him we can’t do that and that he needs to pre-pay an amount before we can turn on the pumps, which he does but as he’s leaving he says:)

Customer: “This is ridiculous, I don’t want to have to come back in for my change. It’s supposed to be a convenience store; this isn’t convenient.”

(He starts pumping his gas, and as he’s doing so my manager comments on how annoying it is when customers do this.)

Manager: “And you know the ironic thing is that if he left his keys in here, he would still have to come back in to get them.”

Pumping Gas Is Not His Calling

| Littleton, CO, USA | Working | November 8, 2016

(I pull into a gas station and park by the store. An employee is sitting on a ledge, having a cigarette.)

Me: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Employee: “Yep.”

Me: “Does this store pump gas for disabled customers?”

Employee: *walking to my car* “Go to pumps three or four. There’s a sticker on the pump with the store phone number on it. Dial that number, tell them you need assistance, and someone will come pump your gas.”

Me: “Thank you so much!”

(I drive to pump four, get out my cell phone, and dial the number. The employee walks up to me.)

Employee: “See, that’s the number. All you have to do is call that number.”

Me: “Great! That’s what I’m doing!”

Employee: “Oh, did you want assistance?”

Me: “Uh… yes…”

Employee: “I’ll be happy to pump your gas for you!”

(Which he proceeded to do.)

Getting Tender Over Legal Tender

| Dublin, Ireland | Right | November 4, 2016

(A customer pulls up and fills their tank with petrol, €55 worth.)

Customer: “Pump five, please.” *places a €500 note on the counter*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t accept a €500 Euro note. Would you perhaps have a credit card?”

Customer: *annoyed* “Why can’t you accept it? It is legal tender!”

Me: “I do not have enough change in my till to provide you with. Also, as it is over 20% of the value of your purchase, I can refuse to accept this as payment.”

Customer: “But it is legal tender.”

Me: “Sir, if I could provide you with the change I would; however, it is not possible. Do you not have a credit card you could use?”

Customer: “No! This is outrageous.”

(The cycle of discussion continues where I try to remain as polite and calm with the customer as possible.)

Me: “Perhaps there is someone you could call and I can accept payment over the phone?”

Customer: “I’m going to drive away if you will not accept my money!”

Me: “As I have explained, sir, I cannot accept this as payment as I do not have the change to give you. I would if I could but I’m sorry, I don’t.”

Customer: “I’m going to leave now.”

Me: *I turn away to look out the window and take down the reg of his car* “Sir, if you leave the forecourt without paying I will be forced to call the Guards.” *police*

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “As you have not paid for the petrol it would be theft.”

Customer: *muttering in anger they storm out*

(The next customer steps up and I ask if he wouldn’t mind waiting a moment while I look out to the car. After a moment I notice no movement so I begin to serve the next customer, however mid transaction the customer storms in.)

Customer: “Here!” *throws the money at me and I have to kneel to pick it up, as the customer is storming out*

Me: “See you, sir! Have a nice day!”

Customer: *stops turns glaring at me* “What did YOU say to me!?”

Me: “I said ‘See you, sir! Have a nice day!’”

Customer: “Mind your f****** business!” *storms out*

(Everyone in the store begins to laugh as I resume to serve the next customer.)

Customer #2: “I don’t know how you kept a straight face.”

Me: “The nicer I got, the angrier he got. What a d***-head. Sorry about that!”

(The other customers got a good chuckle out of it.)

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