Things Are Going To Be OK(lahoma)

| USA | Romantic | February 5, 2017

My boyfriend and I are on a very long road trip, as I am moving from my hometown in Connecticut to live with him in Oklahoma. One night we stop at a gas station to refuel and use the restroom.

There’s a very disheveled man in the little (closed) restaurant area of the station. When we come through the doors he gets up and starts talking to us, and being a very anxious person it makes me a little uncomfortable. My boyfriend just tells me to go to the bathroom, so I do.

When I come out, my boyfriend is sitting in a booth with the man, who is happily talking to him about nothing in particular. He is clearly not all there mentally, but harmless; he just doesn’t have anywhere to go. When I come to the booth he is very excitedly talking to my boyfriend about his boots.

My boyfriend chats with him for a while, but tells him we have to get going. He looks sad — my boyfriend was probably the first person to actually engage him in conversation for a while — until my boyfriend hands him a fifty and tells him to get something to eat and maybe a place to stay for the night. The man looks about to cry, he is so happy.

If I had any doubts about moving halfway across the country for that man, that pretty much banished them all.

He’s since started working in juvenile mental health, and is the favorite staff of a lot of troubled kids.

Demanding A Slush-Fund

| Granada Hills, CA, USA | Right | January 30, 2017

(A customer walks in and buys a Drink. It is self serve, so we show him where the machine is. Five minutes later, he walks back in, with a big stain on his shirt. He yells at me.)

Customer: “You did this to me!!!”.

(I try to calm him down but he insists that I owe him free gas.)

Me: “A child could use this machine; why can’t you?”

(After arguing for a bit, an eight-year-old child came in, bought a hot dog and a Drink, and left. The customer sheepishly left. He came back three times in the next week demanding free gas and a new Drink.)

Chewing (Tobacco) Them Out

| MI, USA | Working | January 30, 2017

(I’m a 26-year-old married man who looks VERY young for his age, to the point that I could easily be mistaken for a kid in high school. I also chew tobacco, and at every store I make it a point to have my driver’s license out from the get go. Most gas attendants are very appreciative of my cooperation with the law, but this one rubs me the wrong way. I walk into the store.)

Me: “Hi, mind if I get a tin of [Tobacco Brand]?

Attendant: “I’ll need to see some ID, pl—”

(The attendant hasn’t even looked up until this point to see me handing over my driver’s license…)

Attendant: “Oh, well that was fast…” *scoffs* “You don’t look 26.”

(She proceeds to glare at me as if I’d done something to piss her off.)

Me: “How many people come in here and argue over having to show their ID?”

Attendant: “A lot, actually…”

Me: “And how often do people have their ID card ready without you having to ask?

Attendant: “Uh… barely any.”

Me: “You’re welcome. Now may I please have my ID back along with the tobacco I requested?”

(Didn’t take her long to get my tobacco after that.)

Remain Walking Tall

| CO, USA | Friendly | January 18, 2017

(My dad, brother, and I are going to go help my grandparents move. We have to drive for a little bit but it’s not too bad. We stop at a gas station to get treats and gas. Note my brother is fairly tall for his age and a lot of other people are shorter then him.)

Cashier: *to my brother* “Do you play basketball?”

Brother: “Do you play miniature golf?”

Me: *facepalm*

(My brother walks out to the car.)

Dad: “I’m so sorry. He doesn’t like being asked if plays basketball.”

Cashier: “THAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER!”

Unknown Caller Is On An Unknown Amount Of Substances

| Ada, MI, USA | Right | January 14, 2017

(The caller ID says UNKNOWN CALLER.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Gas Station].”

Caller: “Hey, I was at your gas station earlier today and I bought an e-cigarette from you guys. I just wanted to let you know that when I lit my e-cigarette like I always do, it blew up.”

Me: “Pardon, sir?”

Caller: “Yeah, it exploded. I don’t know whether it was just my e-cigarette that was defective, or if it was all of them or what.”

Me: “I’m… sorry to hear that, sir. I’ll let my manager know, and we’ll see what we can do.”

Caller: “Yeah, that’d be great. Can I talk to your manager?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but she’s not here. She’s probably at home sleeping.”

Caller: “Oh. Okay… So, how are you doing tonight?”

Me: “Uh… I’m doing all right, sir. How are you doing?”

Caller: “Well, other than the e-cigarette blowing up in my face, I’m not doing too bad.”

Me: “That’s good to hear, sir.”

Caller: “Yeah. So how are you doing?”

Me: “I’m… doing fine, sir. Thank you.”

Caller: “Oh, yeah? That’s good. That’s good. Hey, what’s your name?”

Me: “[My Name], sir.”

Caller: “Okay, [My Name]. How are you doing tonight?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir… I don’t understand.”

Caller: “How are you doing this evening?”

Me: “I’m doing just fine, sir. How about you?”

Caller: “Other than my e-cigarette blowing up, I’m doing all right. So how’s working at a gas station, [Not My Name]?”

Me: “It’s all right, sir.”

Caller: “Is it any fun?”

Me: “Not anymore than any other job, really, sir.”

Caller: “Oh, yeah? That’s cool. Do you get a lot of bathroom and smoke breaks there?”

Me: “Well, I, uh, I step away from the register when I need to go to the bathroom, and I don’t smoke, sir.”

Caller: “Oh, yeah? That’s good. That’s good. You shouldn’t smoke, [Not My Name]. It’s bad for you.”

Me: “I know, sir, that’s why I don’t.”

Caller: “Good. So… what else do you sell there besides gas?”

Me: “Well, mostly we sell cigarettes and junk food, sir.”

Caller: “How about soda?”

Me: “Yes, we do also sell soda, sir.”

Caller: “Do you get a lot of teenagers buying cigarettes, [Not My Name]?”

Me: “I do get a few, sir, but I always remember to card them.”

Caller: “That’s good, that’s good. Did you know, I was reading something on the Internet this morning, said that this generation of teenagers has the fewest smokers of any generation? Only like 9%.”

Me: “I believe it, sir.”

Caller: “But you still get a lot of teenagers buying cigarettes?”

Me: “Only if they’re of age, sir. I’d imagine that most of the other teens who don’t smoke don’t have a reason to visit our station as often.”

Caller: “Good point. So, what’s your favorite pop, [Not My Name]?”

Me: “I’d say [Soda], sir.”

Caller: “[Soda]? That’s a good pop.”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “So do you, like, have cups you can fill with pop there?”

Me: “Yes, sir, you can fill a cup with soda at our gas station.”

Caller: “What kind of soda do you get from the fountain pop?”

Me: “[Soda], sir.”

Caller: “Oh, yeah, ’cause that’s your favorite, right, [Not My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “So… you ever drank gasoline? ‘Cause y’know, you work at a gas station?”

Me: “Um… no sir.”

Caller: “You never drank gasoline? I always wanted to try it.”

Me: “No, sir, I think that would make me very sick.”

Caller: “Yeah, you’re probably right. So, how does the register work?”

Me: “Well, it’s a touch screen, sir. You just press the right buttons and the software handles the numbers.”

Caller: “Oh… do you sell a lot of [Candy #1]?”

Me: “No sir, I don’t sell [Candy #1] very often.”

Caller: “Do you sell a lot of [Candy #2]?”

Me: “No, sir, I don’t sell a lot of [Candy #2], either.”

Caller: “Yeah, man, [Candy #2] are my favorite, [unintelligible].”

Me: “I see.”

Caller: “Hey, [Not My Name], what did you say your name was again?”

Me: “[My Name], sir.”

Caller: “[My Name]… like [My Name] the Bomb?”

Me: *having no idea who that is* “Yes, sir, like [My Name] the Bomb.”

Caller: “Cool. Hey, you’re a cool guy, so I’m gonna call you [My Name] the Bomb. Is that all right?”

Me: “That’s fine, sir.”

Caller: “Cool. Hey, I got stuff I gotta do, so I’m gonna go now, [My Name] the Bomb. I’ll call again later, all right?”

Me: *dear god, please, no* “Sure, sir.”

Caller: “All right. Later, [My Name] the Bomb.”

Me: “Have a good night, sir.”

(Two minutes later, the phone rings, caller ID says UNKNOWN CALLER.)

Me: “NOPE.”

(I think he tried to light his e-cigarette with a lighter, like a real cigarette, and that’s why it exploded. Also, the third shift person went through that day’s transactions. We didn’t sell any e-cigarettes that day.)

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