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In An Odd Interstate Of Mind

| WV, USA | Geography, Popular, Transportation

(I work at a gas station on the side of the interstate. To get back on the interstate, one simply continues driving straight, guided by cones, signs, and post. An older man approaches the gas station; I have the employee door unlocked as I have just swept the office. The customer looks at “employees only” sign and walks in anyway.)

Me: “Sir, you’ll need to go to the front doors. This is the employee door.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” *walks to front* “You see that car over there?”

(I look outside to the twelve cars sitting at pumps.)

Me: “Which one, sir?”

Customer: “That maroon one?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “I’d like $30 on that pump.”

(I ring up the transaction.)

Customer: “How do I get back on the interstate?

Me: “You just head straight. Follow the cones and posts and the sign that says ‘Exit Here.’”

Customer: “Okay! So, I go back that way?” *points the opposite direction*

Me: “No, sir, that way.” *points to the correct direction*

Customer: “Okay, I’m trying to get to West Virginia, you see.”

Me: “Sir, you are in West Virginia.”

Customer: “No, this is North Carolina!”

Me: “No, sir, this IS West Virginia.”

Customer: “How do you know?”

Me: “I live here?”

Customer: “You need to learn your geography.” *leaves*

Me: “What just… what just happened?”

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Gas-Trick Bypassed

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation, Trigger Story

(My relief shows up to give me a break just as I finish selling a young man gas. He leaves, and then comes back.)

Customer: “It’s not working.”

(I look at the screen and he’s hung up the nozzle. I redo the transaction.)

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

(Relief takes over and I walk outside. The customer gets my attention as I walk past him.)

Customer: “Ma’am, it’s still not working.”

(I approach and notice he’s pulled the nozzle from the next pump over and around.)

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

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A Chip Off The Old Stock

| TX, USA | Criminal & Illegal

(It’s a busy day, there’s a long line of customers getting gas. I get to the last one.)

Customer: “Did that guy buy some chips?”

Me: “Uh, nobody bought chips. They have to bring them to the window so I can scan them.”

Customer: “Oh, then he stole them.”

Me: *trying to conceal irritation at both the thief and the fact that I didn’t see him* “I hope he enjoys them…”

Customer: “I hope he chokes on them!”

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Strike And You’re Out

| Italy | Liars & Scammers, Money, Popular

(We have a regular that always asks us to over-mark the amount of fuel he does on the expense sheet, which is illegal, but we comply because he always says “I did 20 yesterday evening on the self service” and we don’t want to delay other customers because he would make a scene. Today, however, it’s different.)

Regular: “Can you do [amount] and mark [higher amount] on the expense sheet? I came by yesterday evening and did 20€.”

Me: “Really? You came and did 20€ yesterday evening?”

Regular: “Yes…”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can mark that.”

Regular: “Why?”

Me: “We were completely closed for the national strike yesterday. No self service; nothing at all.”

(The look on the regular’s face was priceless.)

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Didn’t See The Smoke Signals

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Underaged

(In Minnesota, it’s the law to card people that look under the age of 40 if they are buying tobacco or tobacco-related products. If you refuse to show ID, even if you look over 18, we cannot sell to you after we’ve asked for it.)

Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

Female Customer: “Can I have a pack of Camel Crush?”

Me: “Sure! Can I see your ID?”

Female Customer: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t sell to you without an ID.”

Female Customer: “I’m 28; my birth year is 1986.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to you without a proper form of identification.”

Female Customer: “Well, fine! I’ll just go somewhere else.”

Me: “Have a nice night.”

(I watch her storm out to the truck on one of our pumps. I watch as a guy gets out of the driver’s side and comes into the store.)

Me: “Hi there! How can I help you?”

Male Customer: “Can I get a pack of Camel Crush and a tin of Grizzly Wintergreen?”

Me: “Sir, if you are trying to buy a pack of cigarettes for the girl that was just in here, then I cannot sell to you.”

Male Customer: “She’s 28.”

(He basically just admitted that he is associated with her and probably buying her cigarettes.)

Me: “It doesn’t matter, sir. She failed to produce a proper form of ID when asked. I cannot sell to either of you.”

Male Customer: “That’s ridiculous. She’s 28 and I smoke, too.”

Me: “That’s the law, sir. You’ve admitted you are trying to buy cigarettes for her and I saw you get out of the same truck she got into. I cannot sell to you.”

Male Customer: “That’s f****** ridiculous! I’ll be back in the morning to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Okay, good luck! Make sure to read the signs in the store next time that say we card anyone under 40! Have a nice night!”

(They never talked to a manager or the corporate office.)

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