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Talking Cheap Baloney

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer approaches me at the register. He is wearing a shirt that indicates he is involved with a particular youth organization.)

Customer: “Do you have any cold sandwiches here?”

Me: “We have a few in the deli case there, and there’s also a [Pizza Chain] that does sandwiches across the street—”

Customer: “I don’t want to give them my business.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, the sandwiches we have are right down the aisle there.”

Customer: “They have a special, a large cheese pizza for [price] so I asked if I could get a large pepperoni for that price instead because it’s for [Youth Organization] but they said no, that it would be [slightly higher price] to add pepperoni. I can’t believe that!”

(The customer inspects our sandwiches and then leaves. I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “I know that ‘thrifty’ is one of the values of [Youth Organization] but there’s a line between that and just plain cheap!”

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Feeling Fuel-ish, Part 3

| UK | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(A young woman comes in to pay, while we can see her mother waiting in their car. In the UK, customers fill up their cars themselves, and then pay for the fuel.)

Customer: “£10 on pump six, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s no fuel there. Are you sure that’s the correct pump?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure; it’s that red car.”

Me: “Well, there’s no fuel there. Perhaps she hasn’t fueled up yet?”

Customer: “I guess you’re right…”

(Five minutes later, she reaches the front of the queue again.)

Customer: “£10 on pump six?”

(I look out the window, the mother is still sitting behind the wheel of the car, and there’s still no fuel recoded on the pump.)

Me: “Uh… there’s still no fuel for you to buy.”

Customer: “What- still? This is unbelievable!”

(She leaves again. Shortly afterwards, we watch as the red car reverses away from pump six, then reverses towards a different pump, so it’s now facing the wrong way. The mother finally activates a fuel pump for us, fills up, and comes inside herself.)

Customer #2: *throws a £10 note on the counter* “£10 of fuel on pump seven, PLEASE!”

Me: “Uh, there’s £20 recorded on that pump. Are you sure that’s you?”

Customer #2: “Yes, I am SURE, and I am very annoyed, because I’ve been here for over 10 minutes now, and it took way too long for me to be able to fill up!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, but please be aware that it can take up to 20 seconds for the fuel to start flowing once you lift the nozzle. If you put it back in the cradle before it’s activated, then nothing will happen.”

Customer #2: “But I didn’t even touch anything! Why wasn’t the pump working? You need to put up a sign saying that your pump is out of order!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Are you saying you never actually placed the nozzle in your tank? You need to physically move the nozzle, or of course it won’t work.”

Customer #2: “Really? That’s a bit stupid; I don’t like it at all!”

Me: “This is how every filling station in the country operates, ma’am… I really don’t know what else to say?”

Customer #2: “Well, they don’t do it like this in Ireland, I can assure you! And I only have £10.” *indicates her daughter in the queue behind her* “She can pay the other half. There should be a sign!”

Related:
Feeling Fuel-ish, Part 2
Feeling Fuel-ish

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Doesn’t Even Have The Power To Refuse You Service

| Campbell, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular

(I am a cashier at a 24-hour gas station. I am working the graveyard shift. A large storm is coming through, and we have lost power. It’s about 2 am, and completely pitch black at the station. A car comes pulling in; a guy gets out, and tries to start pumping gas. He then approaches the booth.)

Customer #1: “Your gas pumps aren’t working.”

Me: “Sir, we have no power.”

Customer #1: “I need gas.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we have no power.”

Customer #1: “Just turn the pump on.” *he then flicks his credit card into the drawer and walks off*

(Normally, we have a PA system to talk to customers. But we have no power. So I just sit there until the man comes back angry now.)

Customer #1: “I told you I need gas! I gave you my credit card! Turn on the pump.”

Me: “Sir, your card is in the tray. We have no power. We can’t pump gas. We can’t even turn on the lights. You need to go somewhere else.”

Customer #1: *saying this slow and angry* “I… NEED… GAS!”

Me: “Then you need to find a gas station that has power. I cannot pump gas without electricity.”

Customer #1: “If you won’t let me pump gas, you’ve lost my business. I’m going elsewhere.”

Me: “Have a nice evening, sir.”

(The customer gets in his car and screeches away. A couple hours later the power comes back on, so we are open. A completely different customer comes up to the window.)

Customer #2: “Hi, I’d like to get a fill up. Oh, and it looks like someone left their credit card in the drawer. I don’t want you to confuse it with mine.”

(I looked, and it was the first customer’s credit card. We held it for 48 hours but he never came back for it. I guess because he couldn’t see it because it was pitch black, he forgot about it.)

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The Definition Of Helpful Is Fluid

| ON, Canada | Popular, Transportation

(I work at a gas station; a lady comes in to buy windshield washer fluid but needs help getting it in her car. I am by myself and there are other people there so I can’t help her.)

Customer: “Is there anyone here that can help me put this washer fluid in the car?”

Me: “No, sorry, I’m the only person here and as long as someone is fueling, I can’t leave the store.” *it’s a bylaw*

Customer: “Well, can you ask the manager or someone in the back to come help?”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry. I’m the only person here at the moment.”

Customer: “Well, can YOU help me, then?”

Me: “I’m not allowed to leave the front when people are fuelling. It’s a safety hazard and a bylaw. I actually don’t drive either, or have a car, so I’m not sure how much help I’d be. If you ask one of the people outside they might be able to help you, though?”

Customer: “YOU can’t FILL the washer fluid? Funny that they gave YOU this job then.”

Me: “You can’t fill YOUR washer fluid? Funny that they gave you the car.”

(She left pretty mad. I told my manager about the exchange and she was laughing.)

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Very Express-ive

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I work at a gas station with the word ‘Express’ in its name. It’s a slow day when a middle-aged man comes up to my register.)

Man: “Hi, I can use this here right?”

(He hands me a gift card that is clearly labeled from a competitor company.)

Me: “Err, no, this is [Store] Express. That card is only good at [Competitor].”

Man: “But look here, it says ‘Express.’ So, I can use it right?”

(He points to the clearly marked “usable at [Competitor] Express” logo.)

Me: “Nope, this is still [Store] Express. Not [Competitor] Express. Sorry, I can’t accept the card.”

Man: Well, F*** YOU, THEN!”

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