Phoning In The Irony

| Michigan, MI, USA | Right | March 20, 2015

(My aunt is teaching me how to do dispatch at the gas station she owns, for whenever they’re busy. I’m too young to sell any cigarettes to a customer and someone else has to do it. If she’s busy or needs to help a mechanic she lets me run the front as long as I don’t sell any cigarettes, so I need to call for help on that a lot. A woman and her young girl walk in the store. The woman is on her phone playing a popular game.)

Little Girl: “Mommy! Guess what I learned at school today?!”

Woman: “Huh? Oh, yeah that’s great, [Little Girl].” *continues to play on phone*

Little Girl: “Mommy! I asked you to guess! It’s really fun; I promise!”

Woman: “Be QUIET! I’m busy! You can go pick up a piece a candy or something. I’m gonna pay for gas.”

Little Girl: “Okay!” *heads off, happy again, to get candy*

Woman: *walks up to our counter* “I need $20 on pump four, please.” *taps on phone*

Me: “All right, I’ll—” *I get a phone call from my aunt saying she won’t be back for a while and that I should call a coworker to help me with any cigarette sales* “—Okay, I’ll call her right away. Thank you.” *click*

Woman: *has put her phone away* “I find it very rude that you would talk on your cellphone while dealing with a customer! You young people must have those d*** things glued to your hands or something. You won’t even take the time to do your job!”

Little Girl: “Mommy, I got a [Candy Bar].”

Woman: “Yeah, okay.”

Me: “I’ll… just ring those up for you. That’ll be [total]. Have a nice day.”

Woman: *back to her game* “Huh? Oh, yeah. You, too. Come on, [Little Girl].”

(Honestly there have been dumber customers, but this really got on my nerves.)

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Biking Over To Weirdtown

| Madison, WI, USA | Working | March 19, 2015

(I’ve had a pretty rough day so far. In order to cheer myself up, I ride my bike to a gas station to buy some snacks.)

Station Attendant: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I am afraid that your vehicle emission level is too low. You would have to leave and come back in a vehicle with higher emissions.”

Me: *confused* “Seriously?”

Station Attendant: “No, just joking. By the way, my vehicle would not have enough emissions, as well.”

Me: “You ride a bike, too? Cool!”

(Later, as I am checking out:)

Station Attendant: “Now press the green button. Now enter your PIN. Now, put your thumb on the fingerprint scanner.”

Me: *confused* “What scanner?” *then I realize he is joking again*

Station Attendant: “Now, stare right here into the retinal scanner. By the way, you should wait a couple minutes before leaving the store, because you were just blinded by the laser.”

(This was a somewhat weird, but really funny encounter with a customer service rep. Thank you, attendant guy, for making my day a little brighter!)

Live By The Sword And Following A Code(words)

, | Armstrong, BC, Canada | Right | March 5, 2015

(My coworker goes outside to help some customers on our full-serve pumps, while I stay inside to watch the store. As he walks back in, one customer follows. I recognise him as a regular, and also a bit of an oddball. When they enter, the following conversation ensues.)

Customer: “It was nice talking to you. It was good.”

(He holds out his hand, and my coworker shakes it, somewhat dubiously.)

Coworker: “Yeah, sure.”

Customer: “We’ll meet tomorrow at the same place as usual. Under the bridge.”

(I have no idea what he’s talking about, and it’s clear from his expression that my coworker has no idea either. However, he nods and goes with it.)

Customer: “10 o’clock. Make sure you bring your sword.”

Coworker: “…yeah, for sure.”

(The customer then leaves. As soon as he’s gone, my coworker and I look at each other incredulously.)

Me: “What the f*** was that?”

Coworker: “I have no idea! That was weird. Oh, wait, he’s coming back.”

(Sure enough, the customer is walking back inside.)

Customer: “I’ll need to get a new sword, though. Mine shattered last time. So, yeah I’ll need a new one. See you tomorrow. 10 o’clock.”

Coworker: “Yeah, yeah, sure. See you there.”

Stealing Away For A Break

| SA, Australia | Working | February 19, 2015

(I work at a petrol station. As is the case with many stations, we do get theft, but have been told to never single anyone out or judge people on appearance. A coworker and I notice a customer coming in, the only one as it is around 11 pm at the time.)

Coworker: *loudly, but whispering to me* “LOOK AT HIM!” *points to the customer*

Me: “Yes? What about him?”

Coworker: “He’s CLEARLY going to steal something. You can just tell. I’m going to check the cameras!”

Me: “Okay… then?”

(A couple of other customers come in the pay for their petrol or buy small items. As she has left me alone, I am the only one on the checkouts now. I serve all three quickly. The original customer comes up last.)

Me: “Is that all today?”

Customer: “Yes, thanks.”

Me: “By the way… and sorry if this is left field. I’m in no way accusing you of anything here.. but you haven’t got anything in your pockets, have you, sir?”

(The customer laughs a bit, then winks at me, pulling out his wallet to pay. It’s got a police officer’s badge on it.)

Customer: “I should hope I don’t. I don’t really feel like calling it in off-duty.”

(We both laughed and I explained the coworker had ran upstairs to monitor him because he was wearing a hoodie in the store. We laughed more at this and went on with our day. The coworker came back about half an hour later, having taken a nice, relaxing break on the cameras – and I had a line of eight customers who were getting grumpy at the wait for a simple purchase.)

Leaving

| Bristol, CT, USA | Working | February 13, 2015

(I recently moved from Los Angeles, CA, to Small Town, CT, for work at a specific sports company based in Connecticut. I haven’t gotten around to changing over my California driver’s license yet. I make the mistake of stopping in to buy cigarettes.)

Me: “Hi. Can I have a pack of [Brand]?”

Cashier: “Sure, can I see ID?”

Me: “Of course, here you go.”

Cashier: “California?!”

Me: “Yup, just moved here. I’ll get an updated ID soon.”

Cashier: *practically screeching* “WHY ARE YOU IN CONNECTICUT, THEN?!”

Me: “I lost my job in Los Angeles, and it’s really expensive to live there even with a job, so I moved back east to stay with family and then I was offered a job at [Well Known Company just up the road]. I couldn’t say no.”

Cashier: *snotty now* “Why in the world would you ever leave California? I mean you could live on the beach if you were homeless; it’s not like you’d need money!”

Me: “Um, no, I have student loans and other bills that need to get paid. Besides, it’s not everyday you’re offered a job, so it’s kind a really good opportunity.”

Cashier: “I don’t care. You NEVER should have left California. I don’t care what kind of job I was offered. I would have never left!”

Me: “Okay, well, good for you. Career-wise it made sense for me to move to work here.”

Cashier: “I don’t care. I can’t believe you would move. That’s just so crazy. Why would you do that?!”

Me: “Okay, that’s enough. Give me cigarettes and my beverage and stop questioning my life choices, unless you want me to start asking about yours!”

Cashier: “Well, fine, but there is no need to get snotty about it!”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(As I’m leaving she calls out again:)

Cashier: “I just don’t understand why you would leave California! You’re crazy!”

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