The Price Of A Lift

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Working | September 2, 2015

(I have just finished working graveyard one night, when my boss offers me a ride home. When I accept, she asks if I am willing to do a favor for her.)

Boss: “Before I take you home, I was wondering if you’d be willing to go to [Competitor] to get the price of cigarettes to price match for me? As they know me.”

Me: “Uh, sure.”

(We drive to the other store.)

Boss: “Now, [My Name], just ask them and make sure they don’t think you’re from our store. The manager there knows me.”

Me: “Not a problem.”

(I button up my jacket to hide my work shirt and get the prices.)

Me: “The prices were [prices].”

Boss: “Good work, [My Name], but did you realize you took [Company]’s fountain cup in with you?”

Didn’t Score A Perfect 100

| VA, USA | Working | September 2, 2015

(I’m grabbing some cigarettes for my dad at the gas station we always go to. A guy I haven’t seen before is working.)

Clerk: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Clerk: “Good! How are you?”

Me: “I’m great! Can I just have a carton of [Brand] normal, not 100s, please?”

Clerk: *grabs pack of 100s* “These?”

Me: “No, the regular ones, please. A carton, please, not pack.”

Clerk: *grabs for pack of regular* “Here you go.”

Me: “Yes, those, but can I have a carton? The one with a lot of those in it?”

Clerk: “Oh, packet!” *hands me a carton of 100s*

Me: “…Can I have the regular ones, please? Not 100s?”

(He starts looking around and finds some behind him. With a big smile he puts them on the counter.)

Clerk: “Here you go!”

(I hand him $100.)

Clerk: *looks at his boss* “Is this legal?!”

(I eventually get my change and head out to the car where my dad is waiting.)

Dad: “What took so long?”

Me: “New guy.”

(The people there are always very nice. I hope he was just having an off day!)

Rage Against The Rage Against The Machine

| TX, USA | Right | September 1, 2015

(I’m one of the customers in this story and am shopping at a well-know Texan gas station after work. In addition to walking in to prepay for my gas, I also pick up a snack item and an ICEE for me to eat on my back home. However, as I walking to one of the three or four ICEE machines I hear:)

ICEE Machine: “Please place the lid on your cup before dispensing your ICEE. Please place the lid on your cup before dispensing your ICEE.”

(This causes me to take a step back and blink before laughing, knowing some fool must have made a mess before. However, I do as the machine instructs and head over to the cashier, still shaking my head.)

Cashier: *scanning my items* “Is this going to be everything?”

Me: “Actually, I need [amount] on [pump].”

(The cashier brings up my car to make sure I have the right number. Before I can continue we hear another customer at the ICEE machine.)

Other Customer: “F***! Your machine is broken! It sprayed this s*** all over me!”

(He comes around the corner, wearing his ICEE and holding – you guessed it – the cup without the lid on it. I let the cashier fix the idiot’s problem, but then hear:)

Customer: “You should put a fucking out-of-order sign on that they all spray -” *he notices I have an ICEE cup that’s filled to the top of the lid* “Which machine did you get that from?!”

(I point to the one I used.)


(At this point I had enough of his stupidity and decide to shut him up with showing him up. I walk over to the machine. It, like last time, gave out the direction to put the lid on before dispensing.)

Me: *mockingly* “Oh, ‘Please place the lid on your cup before dispensing your ICEE.’ Gee, I guess I should do that; no telling what could happen if I don’t.”

(I look back and dispense a color ICEE that matches the mess that was left on the cup he’s now tossed without a problem.)

Me: “Wow! That was so nice and easy, and I don’t have any mess on me!”

(At this point the customer is now cherry red and stammering.)

Other Customer: “Uhhh… umm… bu…”

(He then takes his leave before causing any more problems. At the same time, the cashier was back at the counter with another employee.)

Me: “Sorry about that. Though, I guess I’ll buy two ICEEs.”

Other Employee: “No, you won’t. Your total is [half of the amount I asked for my gas]”

Me: “Uhhh… but that’s not even what I asked for gas.”

Other Employee: “After what you did for us, let us help you.”

(Turned out the other employee was the shift manager and he basically let me walk out only paying $20 for a full tank of gas, 2 ICEEs, and my snack.)

1 Thumbs

Should Pre-Pray For A Good Pre-Pay

| Dallas, TX, USA | Right | August 27, 2015

(All of the pumps at our gas station are self-serve, and have large white 6″x6″ signs adhered to them, with large red block lettering that reads, “PLEASE PREPAY OR PAY AT THE PUMP.” I’m focusing on some paperwork when I hear banging on the window.)

Customer: “TURN ON THE PUMP!” *pointing at her red oversized truck*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you are at a prepay pump. You will need to prepay, pay at the pump, or leave a driver’s license before you can pump your gas.”

Customer: “I don’t have to do any of that!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m afraid you do. It wouldn’t be fair to our other customers if I just let you pump without paying or leaving a license first.”

Customer: “There is a list of people who don’t have to prepay or leave anything!”

Me: *looking for said list inside the fresh box of hell that surrounds me* “Ma’am, the only list we have is of bad check writers, and I’m sure you don’t want your name on that one.”

(Customer stomps back to her truck. I go back to my paperwork. About two minutes pass and I look out to see the same customer jumping up and down in front of everyone, screaming rhythmically…)


Me: *through the intercom* “Ma’am, you are at a prepay pump. You can either prepay, pay at the pump, or leave a driver’s license before you can pump your gas.”

(Customer gets in her truck and peels out from the pump, to the main store across the parking lot, narrowly missing three other cars and a pedestrian, and then parks in the fire lane, directly in front of the main doors. The phone rings; it’s the manager from the main store.)

Manager: “Is there a list of people who don’t have to prepay or leave a driver’s license in there?”

Me: “No, sir. Just a list of bad check writers.”

Manager: “That’s what I thought. Thank you.” *hangs up*

(From across the parking lot, I see this customer exit the store just steaming. She gets back into her truck, and again peels out of the parking lot, again barely missing passing cars and pedestrians.)

Making A Clean Start

| GA, USA | Working | July 16, 2015

(After being hired on and trained at one gas station, the company sends me to another location on the outskirts of town to be my normal store. Immediately upon arriving, I notice how gross the station is: bugs crawling all over everything, the floor in desperate need of mopping, and a cappuccino machine that has never been cleaned. I do my best to clean what I can, but with no one else cleaning, it’s a losing battle. However, I have a light at the end of the tunnel: there’s a big inspection in one week, with the owner of the place showing up personally. I work that night, and come in excitedly to hear how badly we failed.)

Coworker: “Hello, [My Name].”

Me: “Hi! How did inspection go?”

Coworker: “Oh, we got an x—” *mumbles*

Me: *hopes rising* “An ‘X’? What does that mean?”

Coworker: “An EX-cellent. We only got three demerits! The owner was impressed.”

(The worst part? The cappuccino machine wasn’t even one of the demerits.)

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